‘Excuse me for a moment,’ I said, getting up. ‘I have to make a call.’

I went into the kitchen and dialled her number. It had barely rung when she answered.

‘Filth Monger?’ she said, breathlessly. She was sobbing and sounded almost hysterical. ‘Is that you?’

‘It’s me,’ I said, a chill stealing over me. I was suddenly sure my hunch had been correct. ‘Calm down, sweetheart, and tell me what’s wrong.’

The next words out of her mouth turned everything I’d thought I’d known on its head.

    Eight

Her

I read the paper Max had given me on the way to the flat. It told the whole sordid story. The other woman, Christine Fielding had been a call-girl. I didn’t know why it surprised me, but it did. Considering the organisation he ran, I suppose I should’ve expected him to have dealings with prostitutes but, for some reason, it just didn’t seem to fit. He’d seemed more honourable that that. I actually laughed aloud as I thought it. Honourable? He’d murdered her in cold blood. I shivered again at my lucky escape.

My laugh caught the attention of the driver.

‘What’s that you’re reading?’

I held up the paper.

‘Ooh, yes…nasty business.’ He shook his head. ‘Just shows you…all that money and…’

He tailed off for a moment, before speaking again. ‘Mind you – he’s out now, isn’t he?’

‘Is he?’ I felt my heart begin to race.

‘Yeah.’ He looked at me in his rear-view mirror. ‘It was on the radio. They’re working on some new leads. Papers…out of date even as they print them. No wonder the internet’s so popular. Mind you, I liked that story about you underneath…very sweet.’

Sweet? It was excruciating. And Nathaniel had been released.

The driver carried on talking, first about me then, when I didn’t answer, about the many and varied iniquities of the rich. I hardly heard him. Nathaniel was out. Did that mean he was innocent, or had he bought his way out? Was I safe with him walking the streets, or should I be taking precautions? I was relieved when the driver pulled up outside the flat. Leo would be there – I’d be safe.

There was no answer when I rang the buzzer, and I didn’t have my key. In the end, I had Frank, the concierge, let me in. I walked tentatively through the hall into the living room and looked around. It was an eerie feeling, being back after what seemed by now to be months, with everything that had happened, but was really only weeks. The place had gone to ruin in the time I’d been away. Leo had never been able to look after himself and now the flat looked like a riot had taken place.

Maybe it had – or a fight, at least. I wondered if this was where he’d been beaten up. It looked as if it might’ve been. The furniture was out of place, the surfaces covered with used crockery and beer cans. There was even a basket load of laundry scattered across the kitchen floor. It was clean, so at least he’d been taking some care of himself, but still wet. I bent down to pick it up.

As I was hanging it out on the airer, he came into the kitchen. He must have been upstairs, but I hadn’t heard him come down.

‘Oh,’ he said. ‘It’s you. What the hell are you doing here?’

I was taken aback by his attitude. He didn’t sound angry, more horrified.

‘I…came to see you,’ I said, standing up. ‘Summer called me.’

I looked at him. He looked worn out. He had a black eye and several deep gouges to his face, and his hair was greasy, plastered down to his head. ‘My God,’ I said, trying to keep the shock out of my voice. ‘What happened?’

‘As if you don’t know,’ he said, his voice tinged with sarcasm. ‘So who sent in the heavies?’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I said, hearing the quaver in my voice as I did so. ‘Who did it?’

He picked up a newspaper from the side. ‘I was reading this earlier,’ he said, showing me the front cover. It was the one I’d just been reading in the car. ‘What’s it all about?’

I remembered Summer saying she’d given a copy to him, but it hadn’t occurred to me until then that Nathaniel’s picture was on the front page. I felt my heart racing again. If he’d really beaten him up, he’d recognise his face straight away, and link it to me.

‘What’s what about?’ I said, stalling for time. I didn’t know how to answer him, without implicating myself.

‘All this.’ He pointed to the bottom of the front page. ‘One minute I have people at my door, warning me to stay away from you. The next minute you’re telling the world and his wife that you love me. So, which is it?’

I didn’t answer. I didn’t know how to. I still didn’t know how I felt. I’d been drunk but, sometimes, that was when the truth came out. Maybe I did still love him. In fact, I did. I couldn’t bear the thought of him wallowing in his own filth like this. He needed me. But if he found out what had happened between me and Nathaniel, he’d flip.

‘So…who were they?’ he said, coming closer. ‘The guys who warned me off you?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said, stepping back from him, without even realising it. ‘I didn’t know anything about it.’

He seemed to accept this. ‘Probably someone behind the scenes,’ he said, throwing the paper down. ‘Quite the little celebrity now, aren’t we?’

I gave a shrug. ‘It’s nothing,’ I said. ‘It’ll all be over tomorrow, I daresay.’

‘It might not be such a bad thing,’ he said, walking slowly into the front room. ‘For our future.’

‘You’re limping,’ I said, trying to change the subject. ‘Was that when…?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘They made a proper job of it. Threw me down the stairs.’

‘Is that why you haven’t been to training?’

He gave a noncommittal shrug. ‘Maybe.’ He turned to me. ‘Look, Grace. All that business…Hull. It’s over with now. It’ll never rear its head again, I promise. If we get back together, everything’ll work out. I’ll get the transfer. You’ll have your…thing…whatever it is.’

‘My career,’ I said, bridling.

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘That. We’ll be a golden couple again.’

‘I know we seemed like it,’ I said. ‘But I don’t think we ever were a golden couple…not really.’

‘We were.’ He limped over to me, and took me in his arms, holding my face against his warm chest. ‘You’ve just forgotten, what with everything.’

He was probably right. I’d certainly been devastated when we’d split up. I’d felt he’d destroyed something special, that I’d never find again. Even so, wrapped in his lean, strong arms, I felt nothing. In Nathaniel’s embrace I’d been overwhelmed to the point that I’d wanted to melt into him, to be consumed by him so our cells were entwined for eternity.

I pulled away from him, not knowing what to say, but unable to bear his proximity a moment longer.

‘Grace?’ He turned my face up to his and looked into my eyes. ‘God, you’re beautiful.’

‘It’s not me,’ I said, turning my face away. ‘It’s make-up…there was a photo shoot.’

‘You’re always beautiful to me,’ he said, putting his hand to my cheek and turning my face up to him again. He stared at me, his brown eyes searching and desperate. ‘What d’you say? Let’s try again.’

I looked away again, not wanting to anger him when he seemed so on edge already. ‘Let me think about it,’ I said. ‘Get back to training, okay? Sort this mess out, and maybe I’ll come back.’

‘You mean it?’

‘I mean it,’ I said. ‘Do it for me.’

‘How do I know you’re not just saying it?’

I shrugged. ‘You’ll just have to take that chance.’

‘Okay,’ he said, sounding reluctant. ‘But don’t take forever, thinking. I’ve waited long enough already.’

I called a taxi soon after and left. I’d hated lying to him, but I had to, for his own sake. He couldn’t let everything he’d worked for slip out of his grasp just over me. He had to sort himself out. I couldn’t do it for him, because I couldn’t get back with him, I knew that now. But I couldn’t tell him, not there and then. I had a strong sense that it would’ve tipped him over the edge, and I couldn’t face the thought of another scene like the one at Liv’s.