The first step to holding this all together? He needed to get a grip. For real this time. Because Whitney would never be tied down, and Ryder couldn’t keep chasing her while his own future went up in flames from the fire she left behind.

Chapter Thirteen

“What is this for?” Whitney asked, opening the envelope Penny handed her. It was filled with cash.

“It’s a bonus,” Penny said. “Or an incentive, depending on how you look at it.”

“Incentive?”

“I’m catering the event at the Davenport Hall,” Penny clarified, and Whitney remembered Ryder mentioning the reopening of the facility. “Would you be interested in helping me? There’s so much food to make, but I really need help setting it all up at the event, making sure the tables and trays stay full.”

Whitney glanced at the envelope in her hand. It wasn’t about the money. She’d help Penny for free. Which was why she handed her back the envelope.

“Of course I’ll help.”

Penny smiled. “Thank you so much. But you keep that.” She pushed the envelope back. “I hated to ask you because of the event itself. You’ll still have plenty of time to enjoy it, though.”

“I wasn’t invited,” Whitney said. “So I’m happy to be on food detail.”

Penny frowned. “Ryder didn’t invite you?”

“It’s cool.” She shrugged it off but didn’t feel any lighter. It didn’t fit into their arrangement, going to the reopening together. But still… “What I have with Ryder isn’t a public thing.”

“Do you want it to be?” Penny asked.

That single question stopped her breath short. Did she? Sure, she’d gotten weird feelings seeing him interact with Clara. She also saw how the town respected him, and while he was never fake, he never allowed himself to be real, either. The real kind of man she knew behind closed doors, at least.

“I don’t know if he would really want that,” Whitney said. From day one, Ryder had tried putting her into a box, like he did with everyone else. Did she want him? Yes. In public? Yes. But if that meant she’d have to take him as the closed off guy he presented to everyone else, she wasn’t interested.

“Don’t you think you should leave that up to him?” Penny offered. “I can tell you from personal experience, sometimes you have to stop being afraid of what someone might feel and just ask them to tell you.” She closed Whitney’s hand around the envelope of money. “Besides, I know you’re looking to move on sooner or later. This money will help. Unless you’re thinking of staying longer.” She smiled, making no secret of which option she hoped Whitney would take. “And then the money could definitely help, don’t you think?” The look on Penny’s face turned from happy to mischievous.

“Staying longer?” Whitney asked.

Penny just shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah. Maybe there’s something you might like sticking around for.”

“Like…” Whitney prompted, even though she could tell Penny had the same idea Whitney was trying to deny.

“Like a tall guy with impeccable manners, who needs a good ass kicking from a hot chick like yourself every now and again so he can lighten up and have fun.”

“Oh that!” Whitney said, and tapped her jaw. “I thought you were talking about me staying for all the awesome food you make.”

“Well, that too, naturally.”

Whitney laughed, then did one thing she hadn’t done in a long time. She reached out for a hug. Penny reached back, wrapped her up, and pulled her in. When Whitney squeezed her eyes shut, a stray tear slipped out, and it caught her off guard.

Penny had treated her well from the beginning. She’d been supportive and took life by the balls. She was kind and vibrant. Ryder was lucky to have her for a sister, because Whitney saw so much of her own sister in her. And it both broke and healed her heart at the same time.

“Thank you,” Whitney said and finally released Penny.

But Penny just cupped her shoulders. “You’re welcome.” She gave a little squeeze, then said, “Now, what are you going to do about the big pain in the ass Diamond boy?”

Whitney smiled. “Well, last I saw him, I left him sleeping in my bed the other day. I haven’t heard from him since. I didn’t think anything of it.” Even though she had. “I know he needs his space.” Even though she’d wished he would call her. Or come by the BBQ. Or…anything.

“Please.” Penny rolled her eyes. “Ryder is excited about you. It’s obvious. Now the question is, what are you excited about?”

The truth hit Whitney hard. “Him,” she said.

She was excited about the idea of staying in Diamond. Of getting to spend her nights with a specific Diamond, and maybe even her days with the same one. They were family. And that made Whitney feel like she just might belong here. She’d spent the year after Kacey’s death on the run, and this was the first place that felt like home.

But Ryder’s admission from the other night still plagued her thoughts.

“Ryder told me about his past, and the woman he eloped with.”

Penny nodded and looked around, as though gauging who was within earshot. This had to be a tightly kept secret. “Shh,” Penny said.

Whitney lowered her voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. I’m surprised he told you. No one knows except our closest friends. He was heartbroken. That woman crushed a part of him.”

Wow. Ryder hadn’t gone into those kinds of details, like how he’d felt crushed. He had told her more about how he regretted dragging his family into the mess.

“She really hurt him?”

“Yeah. He’d left everything and everyone and followed her to the city. He plays it off that he was young, which he was. But he was lost to her. Once the knot was tied, the ink wasn’t dry on the license before she left him and wanted a settlement. It broke something in him. Ever since, he hasn’t really let go of his control.” Penny looked at Whitney and smiled. “But since he met you, I’ve seen some of that spark come back in him.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good thing, if he’s worried about it.”

“He doesn’t know how to deal with that kind of passion. For a while, I didn’t, either. But eventually I let it take me down, and it’s a hell of a ride.” Penny smiled, like she was recalling a happy memory. “Ryder just keeps things at arm’s length.”

Like coffee dates and manners. It was his shield.

“I’m not after anything of his, or your family’s,” Whitney said.

“Oh, I know that!” Penny assured her quickly. “If I thought you were, I wouldn’t be pushing you to continue making my brother’s life difficult.”

Difficult. Yep, that was what she was doing. He’d been honest, and Whitney now knew what he was fighting. She didn’t want to make it harder for him. She just wanted him. Ryder had tried to date her, to keep his boundaries in place, to even be her friend, and now it was Whitney’s turn to step up and compromise.

“I’m officially taking sex off the table,” she said, and Penny’s brows rose.

“Ah…I think you lost me.”

“I mean, it’s not just about sex anymore. I want…” She swallowed back the lump in her throat. “More.”

“Oh, honey! We can definitely work with more! I’m all about getting that!”

Penny did a little dance, and Whitney felt truly happy. She had a friend, maybe even a couple of friends. With Ryder, with Penny, with their friends, she felt like she had a small part of her sister back. Like she just might get a chance to hang onto the one man she…

“Oh, fuckin’ A!” Whitney whispered and ran a hand along her forehead, where an instant phantom headache hit.

“What? Are you okay?” Penny asked.

She looked at her and shook her head. “I don’t know. I think it’s…side effects or something. Oh God…oh God…” She pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Side effects? Are you on medication? Should I call Lily?”