I have even found myself wanting to talk about Carly to him, but haven’t. I guess I don’t know what to say. I’m not ready to tell him about that night but sometimes he’ll tell me a story that makes me think of her and I want to talk about her. I have been having dreams of her, and not my usual nightmares. I had always dreamt of that night like a recurring reel of bad memories. Now I remember the fun times, before she was depressed, before I lost her. He seems to be changing my whole life and as much as it might make me nervous, I love it.

I have never met anyone like Jake. He has even built a relationship with Tina. He is so funny at times, then other times he is so damn sexy. My will power with holding out on going farther with him has been winding down. I don’t really know how much longer I can take it. He makes me feel and want things that scare me. I want him in every sense of the word.

***

I get to work and Kelly hands me a long rectangular box. Jake still sends things to me a few days a week. “You are lucky girl, the only thing my boyfriend has given me lately is his dirty laundry.”

I laugh and take the box from her. “Thanks, Kel.”

I get into my room eager to see what he has sent. The card only has one word on it:

Soon…

Soon what? The one word holds so much promise and it scares me. I open the box and drop the lid on the floor. There is a single black rose that has wilted. What the hell. I pick up my phone.

Me: Why would you send me that?

Jake: ???

Me: Don’t play stupid, Jake, this is not funny.

My phone begins to ring and I answer it. “What are you talking about, babe?”

“Seriously? I’m talking about the card, the rose, it’s really creepy.” He has a weird sense of humor sometimes but this is going overboard.

“Nina, I didn’t send you anything today.” His words hit me like a rock. If it isn’t from Jake who sent it? My breathing speeds up. What the hell does “soon” mean? “What is going on?” His voice is quick and he sounds alarmed, worried.

“I need to go.” I hang up the phone. The box on the counter is taunting me. I can’t stop looking at it or trying to figure out what it means. I can hear my phone ringing but it sounds so far away. All I can focus on is the box. The dead black rose. The one word, “soon.”

I don’t know how long I stand there in my trance but next thing I know Jake is standing in front of me. “Hey, are you okay? I called you a bunch of times and you didn’t answer.” I don’t respond. His eyes follow mine landing on the box. He walks over to it slowly and seems to inspect it. “Is this what you thought I sent you?” I nod, giving him something.

His arms wrap around me, and I find solace in him. I need him to let me know that everything is going to be okay. I don’t know why but I feel like this box is the beginning of something huge. “What does it mean?”

“I don’t know. It might just be someone’s stupid idea of a joke. What can I do to help? Do you want to see if you can leave early? You can come home with me.” His voice is strong, as strong as I wish I was right now.

“No, I can’t just leave.” He pulls away a bit and looks into my eyes. When he kisses me, it eases my fears. I know that he is here for me. Hopefully, he’s right and it’s just some stupid thing. “I have a few appointments coming up.”

Just then there is a knock at the door. It opens and Kelly peeks her head in. “Nina, your nine a.m. is here.”

I nod then she shuts the door. “I have to work.”

His arms tighten around me. “You sure you’re okay? You seem a little bit shaken up.”

“I am, but I’ll be okay.” I give him a quick kiss before pulling away.

“You want me to get rid of this for you?” I don’t have to turn around and look to know what he is talking about.

“Yes.” He gives me one last kiss on my cheek before leaving.

I shake my hands trying to rid myself of the jitters before I bring my client back. Just breathe. I have always had some anxiety issues. They were really bad after I lost Carly, but have gotten much better. Right now all I want to do is crawl into the fetal position and pretend like nothing is happening.

I take my first three appointments before getting a break. It was actually helpful to be working because it made time go by and provided a distraction for me instead of worrying about whoever sent me that box. I don’t have any more appointments today but I am supposed to be here for walk-ins. I’m tempted to just ask to go home, if I do though I know nothing good will come of it. I will sit on the couch worrying myself to death and ending up no better than I started.

The phone in my room rings and I grab it. “Hey, it’s Kelly. I have a walk in with no requests are you free?”

“Yep, I’ll be out in a minute.” I check my phone and let Jake know everything is okay. He must have sent me four or five different texts since he left. I love that he is so protective of me.

I walk up to the desk letting Kelly know I’m ready. “Camden,” she calls.

Camden? It can’t be him. I look up stunned to see the last person I ever thought I would. He looks just as shocked to see me.

“Nina? You work here?” Camden is my stepbrother. I haven’t seen him since I left home.

“Um, yeah.” I have no idea how to act. This is like the epitome of awkward.

“If this is weird I can just…” He motions to the door.

“No, it’s okay.” I start walking toward the back and he follows me. I ask him all the normal questions as I would any other customer. When I leave him in the room, I try to regain my composure. This is so weird. We were never close and I have no idea what to say to him.

Just another thing to make this day super awesome.

Chapter Sixteen

Nina

I head back into the room where Camden is now lying face down on the massage table. What do I even say to him? Anything new happen in the six years since I’ve been gone? I left him and my parents without warning and without explanation. My mom spent months trying to convince me I wasn’t to blame for what happened with Carly. I was though, she was my sister I should have seen it coming. She needed me and I wasn’t there for her.

“You should stop by the house.” His voice is calm, thank God he isn’t looking at me. My facial expression is not one that I would have wanted him to see. I have no intentions of going back to that house. There is nothing for me there except pain and regret. I miss my parents but every time my mom looks at me I feel like she sees Carly. I used to see the pain in her eyes, and the way most of the time she would avoid looking at me.

My mood has been so differently lately, I’ve been happy. I haven’t really been happy since I lost her. Now that Camden has popped up it just reminds me of how much I lost. I feel guilty for being so happy, for living my life when hers ended.

“My neck has really been bothering me lately if you could pay a little more attention to it.”

“Sure.” He breaks me out of my loathing. Let’s get this shit over with. Once he leaves, I ask Kelly if they need me to stay or if I can leave. Two of the other girls are here and free so she lets me go. Between this morning and Camden showing up I need a break. Jake had texted me telling me to come over when I was done, but right now all I want to do is sleep. I need to work this shit out in my head and I’m not ready to tell him anything yet.

I head to my apartment going straight to my room and face planting on the bed. I pray that I can dream of Carly, that I can see her face, that somehow she can help me figure my shit out. “I really need my angel right now, sis.”

I walk through the woods. Carly is always so good at hiding. “I give up!” I’ve been searching for her for way too long. “Carly!” I hear laughing and spin around trying to catch sight of her. I walk toward the sound.