I take his hand and lead him into the bedroom. I spin us around, and he sits on the bed. I climb onto his lap and rest my forehead against his. “I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never…I haven’t done anything before. I know I want you. I want us.” I can feel a blush creep up my neck. I feel so embarrassed admitting to how inexperienced I am. I feel like a weight has been lifted with my confession. I’m free. I’m not scared to tell him this; I know that he won’t hurt me.

“I am going to make you mine tonight. You don’t need to be embarrassed. I love that I am the only one ever to have you. If you want me to stop at any time I need you to let me know.” His hands grip my hips, and a chill runs through me.

I nod.

As much as being with him scares me, I think I’m ready.

Chapter Nineteen

Nina

Jake stands up holding me and taking me with him. He eases me down his body before his hands grip the hem of my shirt and slowly drag it over my head. I reach behind me, my trembling fingers undoing the clasp on my bra and letting it fall to the floor. He doesn’t move his eyes are fixed on mine, and I wring my hands uncomfortable under his gaze. His hands bring me closer to him, and his mouth gently presses against the skin on my neck. I sag against him relieved and relishing in the gentle contact. His mouth begins to trail down my body until it comes to my breasts.

His hands cup them and when he captures my nipple in his mouth I moan. My breathing picks up as he continues his descent. When he reaches my waistline, his fingers slowly unbutton my pants easing them and my panties down with a slow torturing pace. I lean on his shoulders, stepping out of them, becoming aware I am naked in front of him. I feel completely and utterly exposed. I have nothing to hide behind right now, and it is scaring me.

His fingers trace their way up my legs, until he is standing. His towel drops and I can’t help but look down. I have no idea how to react. Jake is the first guy I have ever thought about doing stuff with. He spins me and pulls me down onto the bed with him.

“Are you okay?” Can he sense my inexperience? I mean I know I told him but I hope I don’t act like a complete dunce. I’m so scared that I won’t do this right. I nod taking a deep breath. “If you’re not ready it's okay.”

He needs me to tell him it’s okay. “I’m ready; I’m just nervous.” My shaky voice is almost a whisper. His lips press against mine, and I relax at his touch.

“Don’t be nervous. I’ll take care of you.” His hand trails down my side before slowly moving to my front. He cups me gently, slowly stroking me while he continues to kiss my neck. When his finger slips inside me, I grip his shoulders. “It’s okay, relax.” Easy for him to say! I try to take deep breaths, but the more he moves, the more I become unable to control my actions. Sounds are coming out of my mouth that I’ve never made before.

His thumb strokes my clit, and I jerk. He laughs a little before his other hand grabs my ass. “Don’t run away from me now.” He kisses my mouth as both his fingers start to move, his other hand holding me tight so that I can’t squirm away. The sensations shooting through my body begin to build, I feel like I’m about to explode. I can feel my muscles tensing. I’m slowly becoming less able to handle the feelings, and then I explode. I scream his name while I feel like I am shattering into a million pieces.

He stills, and lets me come down from the high I’m on. He kisses me, and I look at him. I know what’s coming next, and it scares me. I nod at him, letting him know I’m okay, and I’m ready for more. He slowly moves on top of me and reaches for a condom in his nightstand. Tina has super sensitive skin like me, she always says how much they irritate her skin. The thought of not using one crosses my mind; I have an IUD for medical reasons. Would it be horrible if I told him that? What would he think of me?

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He’s looking down at me confusion in his eyes.

“I-I’m just scared that it will hurt and I have really sensitive skin, and I’ve heard those make it worse. I’m on birth control, but I know that you should still use one. My mind is racing and I just—” He kisses me ending my rambling.

“If you don’t want to use one, and you’re protected that’s fine. I’m clean I haven’t been with anyone in a while, and I’ve been checked. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.”

“I just know how it must sound and…”

“Nina, I won’t think any less of you.” He kisses me once more.

“Okay, can we not use one?” I take a deep breath.

“Anything you want. I’ll go slowly. Tell me if you want me to stop.” I bite my lip and close my eyes. I’m so scared, and I’m not even sure why. I can feel him at my entrance. “Look at me, Nina.” I open my eyes. “I won’t hurt you.” He starts to enter me, and I don’t know what to think. It feels so foreign. He thrusts forward once, and a flash of pain shoots through me. I wince and Jake stills. He waits a minute before beginning to move.

He’s being gentle, and soon his movements start to feel good. The friction and the way he presses into me has my body beginning to hum with pleasure. My fingers grip him as his pace quickens. My body starts to tense as it did earlier. Am I going to have another one? Can I this soon?

Jake starts to pull out before sinking all the way back into me. Each time he presses against me I yell. It feels so good. His hand reaches down and slowly strokes my clit. My body tightens, and I let out another scream and I break apart once more.  Jake moves a few more times before sitting up quickly and finishing himself on top of me.

As I’m coming down from the high of my two orgasms and getting to be with Jake, I realize what is covering my stomach. I look over at him. “Can you get me a towel?”

He laughs and smiles, before walking out of the room. The doorbell rings and I see him freeze in the doorway.

“Shit, I forgot about the pizza.” He comes back into the room grabbing a shirt and pair of shorts before moving to leave again. “Hey! What about my towel!”

“Sorry, babe, gotta get the door!” Ass.

I look down at my stomach. Ugh! I slowly get up and do a weird, awkward walk to the bathroom the entire time praying it doesn’t drip off of me. I am sore, but it’s a good sore. It reminds me of what we just did. I make it to the shower in one piece, thankfully.

As I’m washing off, I keep picturing the expression on Jake’s face while we were doing it. He never once took his eyes off of me. It almost seemed as if he was examining for any sign of discomfort, making sure I was completely comfortable.

He’s making it so easy to lose myself in him.

Chapter Twenty

Nina

The next morning when I wake up there is a note on the pillow next to me.

Had to go to a meeting. Be back in a couple hours.

Lying in bed, I can’t help but think back to last night, he was so gentle and caring with me. It felt incredible to be that connected with someone. As quick as this might be, I think I love him. He is the most amazing person I have ever met, and he treats me so well. I never thought after losing Carly I would ever feel as connected with anyone as I do with Jake.

I hear a knock at the door. I’m only wearing one of Jake’s t-shirts, so I throw on a pair of shorts and run downstairs. When I open the door, it is the absolute last person I wanted to see. Jaimie.

“What are you doing here?” She looks me up and down as if she is judging my walk of shame attire.

I couldn’t care less about what she thinks. I’m finally happy. “I think the question is what are you doing here? I was invited to be here.”

“I meet Jake every morning, and we go for a run.” She shifts her weight, and I look at the skimpy clothes she is wearing. All she has on is a sports bra and booty shorts. It’s November and thirty degrees outside! Put some damn clothes on!