An hour later, Brooklyn showed up. She was dressed head to toe in black. She’d changed the way she dressed since the attack like she was trying to fade into the background. Her hoop earrings caught the light as she hugged me. Dropping her purse into the chair by the door, she said, “I’m glad you called.”

“I was worried about you.”

“And I was worried about you.”

“How have you been?”

Her smile faded. “Fine and you keep asking, you keep checking on me, but don’t ask me again, please. I don’t like to think about it, okay?”

“Okay.”

She waved her hand toward the front door. “There’s some beer in my car if you want some.”

‘I can’t. I have to keep a clear head for Mark. He wakes up in the middle of the night and—” I shrugged, unable to put into words the nightmares that gripped my brother.

She sank down on the sofa and kicked off her shoes. “My family was so pissed when they heard what happened to your mom. How is she?”

“Still no change. I spend as much time as I can at the hospital until I have to leave to take care of Mark. She looks so still. I talk to her and I try to be positive but all I can think about are the things I didn’t get to say to her and I wonder if I ever will get the chance.”

“I’m sorry, Tana.”

I forced myself not to give in to the tears that hovered so close. “I want to talk to you because I need your help finding out who did this to my mom. Your brothers...I heard rumors in high school. They’ve got some connections, right?”

Brooklyn bolted upright. “Oh, shit, girl. I can’t believe what you’re thinking.” Her lips tightened and her dark eyes narrowed into slits. “Are you thinking that you want to drag my brothers into this?”

“No, I’m not asking that. I want information from them. If they’ve heard anything about the shooting.”

She ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. “If you’re thinking of trying to find out who did the shooting, that’s not a good idea. You should concentrate on what your mom wants you to do. Get your stuff ready to go to college.”

“College?” I couldn’t help the bitter laugh. I paced back and forth in front of the television, thinking out loud. “How do you think I can go off to college and leave Mark behind if Mom is even better by then? Who’d take care of him? College might not be my future for a while. Trying to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, that’s my reality now.”

“But you don’t know the future,” Brooklyn argued. “I believe your mom is coming home and knowing her, she wouldn’t want this. For you to give up college to help her, it would break her heart.”

“What my mom wanted was to give us a good life. That’s why she worked two jobs.” I gestured around at the living room. “This? This poverty and scratching out a living, this isn’t what she wanted for us. Her in a coma isn’t what she wanted.” I hugged my arms around myself. “I have to find out who did this and why. I want to make sure it won’t happen again.”

“Why don’t you just ask Ryan to find out who shot your mom?”

“Because it’s not Ryan’s responsibility to take care of me or Mark,” I said more sharply than I meant to.

“He would die for you both and you know that.”

Ryan. His blue-green eyes. His muscled body. His smile. The way his body moved inside of mine. The thoughts whirled around inside of my head. If I asked for his help and something happened to him too...I couldn’t. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Her eyes softened. “Oh no. Do you love him?”

I couldn’t bear to think about that much less put it out there. “Even if I did fall for him, it would never work. He’s the kind of guy who walks away.”

“Who knows? Maybe that’s because he never had a reason to stay until now.” She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “Anyway, I’ll help you however I can, but I can’t bring my brothers into this.”

“I understand. You don’t want anything to happen to them.”

“There’s more to it than that. If Ryan finds out my brothers helped you and something happens to you or Mark, he’d want answers and he wouldn’t ask for them nicely. I know enough about Ryan’s past to know he’s not someone to cross.”

Her words intrigued me. “What about his past?”

“On the streets, he was a bad ass, a real legend that everyone knew not to fuck with. He was arrested the first time when he was eight for stealing a car and his record only gets worse from there. I know he beat a man to the point where the guy begged for his life. I accidentally saw the police report at Mama Leena’s. The social worker gave it to her with a note saying she wanted Mama Leena to know all about Ryan before he came to live with her. He did stuff when he was in the gang.”

“When did he get involved with the gang?”

“He got jumped into the Southtown Brothers when he was ten by Chanos’ older brother. He was already bad way before then.”

That explained the SB tattoo I’d seen on Ryan’s arm. “Ten? He wasn’t bad. He was a child.”

“I don’t know if Ryan was ever a kid and his age didn’t matter to the gang. When cars get jacked, cops don’t always look for it to be a kid who did it. Someone’s making a dope delivery, same thing. When the brother went to prison, Chanos took over. Most of the guys liked and respected the older brother because he treated everyone with respect. But Chanos...he’s evil for the sake of being evil.”

“Ryan won’t talk about his past.”

“Maybe he’s got a good reason.” Brooklyn had a funny look on her face.

“What?” I asked.

“I like Ryan okay, especially after what he did for me beating that guy’s ass. But you need to be careful.”

“Are you referring to his past? It’s not like he still has any ties to it, right?”

Brooklyn’s gaze didn’t meet mine. “I’ve heard a few things.”

I couldn’t fathom that Ryan could still be involved with someone like Chanos. He was still a bad ass and there was something about him that when he sent one look their direction made other people give him space, and I’d witnessed that myself, but I’d know if he was back to his former life. Wouldn’t I? Thoughts spun in my head. I’d heard stories. The drugs, the women, the drive-by...wait a second. What if what had happened to my mom was somehow tied to Ryan? I mentally slammed the door on the thought. That was impossible. It wasn’t who Ryan was anymore. Besides that, I knew he’d never cause my family or me to get hurt.

*

RYAN

I left Tana’s house after Juvante showed up to take the watch. If she knew I had people looking out for her, she’d probably get mad, but I needed to know she was being protected whenever I wasn’t there.

The miles to Mama Leena’s house passed as I struggled with the changes rushing toward me. Soon my life wouldn’t be mine. I’d get jumped back into the gang. I thought about the gun. To keep the ugly life I’d once lived from hurting Tana more than it already had, I didn’t have a choice about the direction my life had taken, but I wouldn’t cross that line. Chanos wanted to put me on a leash, to own me and use me in ways that would make him a street god everyone would fear. He planned to use Tana as leverage to keep me on that leash. He’d hold her life over my head. What he failed to realize was that I was holding onto the other end of that leash. When I took my last breath and left this world, I was taking Chanos with me.

I guided the Charger into the driveway and Roman shut off the lawn mower and wiped his face with the end of his worn out shirt. “Hey,” he jerked his head toward the house. “Clarke is back.”

After what happened to Tana’s mom, Clarke had taken off, dragging his guilt baggage with him.

“I’ll talk to him.” I reached back into the Charger through the passenger window and took out the gun.

Darting a look toward the house, Roman said, “Don’t let Mama see that. She’s already pretty jumpy.” He followed me to the backyard shed.