I eased down into the chair beside her bed and leaned close. “Uh...Ms. Shaw. It’s Ryan.” I exhaled. “I don’t know if you can hear me.” An image of my mother flashed into my mind and I bowed my head. Would she have been ashamed of the man I’d become? Of the damage that I’d left in my wake?

“I uh...I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.” I eased up on one hip and pulled the necklace from my pocket, resting the weight of it in the center of my palm. I had vague memories of my mother wearing the necklace. Distorted images of her smiling face, her kind eyes.

I swallowed. “I should have saved you.” I looked at the bed. “I should have saved both of you and it’s my fault. I was trying to be a good man and steer clear of Chanos. He struck first and that’s on me.” I took a deep breath. “But I wanted you to know that I’m going to make it right. I swear. I’ll also make sure Tana has her college money and I’ll take care of her and Mark for you. And I hope that you can forgive me for this. Um...I guess that’s all.” I slipped the pendant into her hand and draped the necklace around her wrist.

My cell phone buzzed and I snatched it up to silence it before a nurse busted me. The text was from Chanos. You were supposed to be here. You want to visit Tana in there next?

Chapter Nineteen

TANA

I fell asleep at some point after talking to Juvante who never did tell me why he’d shown up at my house so late. He’d kept changing the subject. I yawned and rose on one elbow to check the alarm clock. Not quite seven. I flopped back down in the bed and then the odor of coffee and bacon hit me.

For the briefest of seconds, sadness washed over me. The smell was synonymous with my mom. Every morning. Coffee and bacon. I combed my fingers through my bed hair and went to investigate.

Ryan was setting plates at the table. He looked handsome and relaxed. Probably took a trip to Skanksville last night and Juvante just hadn’t wanted to tell me. “You cooked.”

“Figured I’d better take that over if I didn’t want to starve while I’m here.”

I sat at the table and brought my knees up in the chair with me. Reaching for a piece of bacon, I said, “Did you already wake Mark?”

“I let him sleep.”

“You look relaxed.”

His eyebrows rose. “I slept pretty hard.”

“I’ll bet.” I couldn’t hide the jealousy in my tone and I called myself all kinds of a fool. I had no right to be jealous. Ryan wasn’t mine to feel that way about. I took a bite of the bacon. Ryan and the faceless skank could screw happily ever after for all I cared. Oh, bullshit. “Who was she?”

“Does it matter?”

I nearly choked on the bacon. So I was right and Juvante had lied to me. Ryan had been with another girl. “No, I guess not.” I put my hand on my stomach. The bacon wanted to do an encore. “Juvante was here last night. He wouldn’t tell me why, but I guess I know now.” My cell phone buzzed and I checked the text. I didn’t recognize the number. Maybe one of Mom’s friends. Tell your Mom I said hi.

“What is it?” Ryan walked around the table and looked over my shoulder.

After he read the text, he stepped back and said, “Fuck!”

“What? Is it the text?”

“No...I remembered I have to do something before I go to work. I’ll be back before you need to leave and you can take the Charger.” He was out the front door before I had time to say a word.

*

RYAN

I knew where Chanos would be and I drove straight there. I shoved through the front door of the pool hall and waited a second to let my eyes adjust to the dim light. Chanos was in the corner of the bar with a couple of guys I didn’t recognize.

He waved me over and then tapped his palm on the bar. “One for my friend.” With a wide smile, he rose from the stool. “The prodigal son is coming back into the fold.”

“I told you I was in, but you’re way off trying to rattle me about Tana. She was just a fuck.”

Chanos’ dark eyes searched my face and he nodded. “Then you won’t mind if I have a go at that?”

I took a step toward him and his muscle sprang up to flank him.

Laughing, Chanos said, “You can’t bullshit me. You never could.” The laughter faded and his eyes grew stony. “You needed reminding where your loyalties are. It’s the brotherhood over pussy. You feel me?” He moved into my space, a guy move for measuring dicks. I’d once done whatever Chanos had asked of me, but I wasn’t a kid anymore.

“I’m not the same guy you knew,” I said.

“Not the same?” Chanos laughed. “That’s like saying you can take the devil out of hell, stick him in a business suit and he’s suddenly a decent fucking guy.” He slapped my chest. “You’re still who you’ve always been. You’ve just taken a hiatus from the things you used to do.” He snapped his fingers over his shoulder. “Give me the phone.” The guy to his right passed him a phone and Chanos swiped his finger across it. “Here. Take a look at this.”

The first picture was of Mama Leena getting into her car after work. The second one of Destiny at a fast food restaurant. The third was of Ms. Shaw in the hospital. The fourth of Tana waiting tables at her job. I stopped looking and returned the phone. I didn’t need to see any more.

He smirked. “It would be a shame if something happened to one of them because you forgot who you belonged to.”

“And it’d be a shame if something happened to you because you forgot who you were dealing with.”

Chanos smiled. “I don’t forget things, brother.”

“Good, then make sure you remember I’ll beat your ass until there’s nothing left but your goddamn teeth if you touch any of them.”

“See? You are the same guy I knew. Now, let’s have a drink to celebrate our family reunion.” He snapped his fingers at a guy behind the bar.

I took a seat on the stool as the devil opened his arms, welcoming me back to hell.

Chapter Twenty

TANA

Just like he’d promised, Ryan returned to my house before I had to leave for my shift. He was still wearing the overalls he used for working at the garage. He hadn’t been away that long but he didn’t look like the same guy. His eyes were dark and hard like he was going through the motion of living while not feeling anything at all.

Stepping inside the door, he kicked off his shoes and unzipped the overalls, dropping them to his ankles. Scooping them under his arm, he headed toward the laundry room, walking in front of the television where I’d been watching a mindless talk show.

“The doctor gave me some news today,” I said.

He stopped and turned to face me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Brooklyn took me to the hospital to visit Mom and when I arrived, the doctor said that he’s going to begin lowering the dosage of medicine to bring Mom out of the coma. He said the swelling is down and her brain function tests are better than he’d hoped for.”

“I’m glad.”

“Me too.” I shut off the television and followed Ryan into the laundry room. “Maybe we can celebrate tonight after I get off work?”

“Alright. I’ll treat you and Mark to Chinese takeout if you’d like.”

“Do you want to come to the hospital with me tomorrow?”

“I can’t. I’ve got things to do.” He opened the washer and dumped the overalls inside, then frowned at the row of knobs.

“Let me.” I set the cycle, added the detergent and switched the machine on. Both of us tried to move toward the door at the same time and we collided.

“Sorry,” I said, but didn’t move.

He raised his hand and stopped just shy of touching my face. His smile was tight, regretful. “I’m covered in grease.”

“I know.” The room seemed to grow smaller with each breath that I took.