“As long as I’m in, he will because he knows I’ll be close enough to end him if he touches anyone.”

He stroked his goatee. “But it won’t hurt to be extra careful. Get them all out of your life. If you survive the jumping in, you’ve got to cut all your ties. Chanos might not be a threat to your loved ones after you’re back in but that’s not saying a rival gang won’t be.”

“I already thought about that.” The life I’d built after walking away from the gang was done. The hard sonofabitch I’d been on the streets was back.

When I walked to the door, ready to get the dismantling of my life over with, Abraham’s voice sounded as if it came from far away. “Hang on a second. There is something else you can do. My cousin owns a garage not far from the college where Tana’s planning on attending. He’s getting old and has been after me for years to buy him out. I can do that and let you work it until you can save up enough to buy me out.” He studied me. “You’d probably need to take some business management classes, but that’s an option for you.”

Before Chanos, I would have jumped at the chance. “Chanos is a vindictive bastard. He’d only follow me and having him that close to Tana is something I can’t risk.”

“I understand, but if anything changes, the offer stands.”

I nodded knowing that nothing would change.

Chapter Twenty-Four

TANA

A few minutes before seven, a car pulled into the driveway. I’d braced myself since leaving the garage, waiting for Ryan to knock on the door and explain why he’d done what he had. Waiting for my phone to ring. Both were silent. Then I heard the Charger fire up. The engine was strong and loud. I peeked out and saw that it was Ryan. He backed the car up, then the growls it emitted grew softer and softer until I couldn’t hear them.

Mark had seen me put Ryan’s things on the porch and had screamed at me, then cried. Now he was in his room refusing to eat and not speaking to me.

“Give Mark time,” Shelby said. She and Brooklyn had both arrived when I’d called, crying, nearly hysterical, and barely able to talk. We’d binge-watched Vampire Diaries followed by old episodes of Gossip Girl and now with the television off, the silence was too heavy.

Finally, Brooklyn said, “So that’s it?”

“My mom was shot because of Ryan.”

“Your mom was shot because someone’s an asshole,” Shelby spoke up in a sharp tone, uncharacteristic of the way she usually spoke. “I’m not trying to be a bitch here and I’d be hurt and all kinds of mad if he’d kept it from me, but he didn’t cause it to happen.”

“I feel so guilty for saying anything.” Brooklyn slouched back on the sofa. “Gabe told me that Ryan’s got ties to some bad shit and that flared up. That’s why her mom was shot.”

“Did Ryan stir it up?” Shelby demanded.

“When I was at the garage and Chanos came by before my mom was shot, he said something about Ryan’s brothers and drugs.”

“Well that figures. I’ll bet it was Clarke and Roman. How can you hold Ryan responsible for something those idiots did?” Shelby said.

“Because he could have told me the truth about it when it happened and he didn’t. He could have steered the police in the right direction and then the person who did it would have to pay and wouldn’t still be walking around free,” I said.

Shelby sighed. “I can’t figure out shit in my own head much less Ryan’s, so I don’t know why he didn’t tell you the truth. As for the person paying for it, you don’t know that. People get away with stuff all the time. But you and Ryan have been friends for so long that maybe you should just ask him why he didn’t tell you.”

“She’s right. Maybe he has a good reason,” Brooklyn said.

“There’s no good reason for what happened or for him not telling me.” I left the two of them sitting in the living room and went to check on Mark. Maybe I could entice him to eat something if I bribed him with what he really liked. I knocked and opened his door. He was stretched out on his bed, his chin jutting out. “Go away.”

The bedroom window was open, the curtain blowing inward gently from the breeze.

His backpack rested against his bed and overflowed with his favorite toys and books. “Going somewhere?”

“I’m running away.”

“I see. Okay. I’ll pack my backpack and come with you.”

He twisted his head around to look and scowled up at me. “You’re not invited.”

“You can’t run away alone. It’s a rule.”

“I never heard that.”

“It’s true.” I nodded. “It’s in the health book you get in high school.”

He crossed his arms. “It doesn’t matter. I won’t be alone.”

“Are you taking one of your friends with you?”

He nodded. “Ryan.”

The sound of the Charger revved in the driveway. Then the horn blew. Mark grabbed his backpack and marched toward the window. I raced from his room and was outside at the driver’s side of the car before Mark could finish climbing out of the house.

Ryan lowered the window.

My heart lurched when his eyes met mine. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Ryan?”

“He called me and said he was running away. I talked him into waiting for me.”

“He’s not leaving with you.”

“Could you stop the pissing contest for one second and think? If he doesn’t feel like he accomplished running away, he’ll try again and next time he might succeed. Without someone to watch over him.”

Mark reached the side of the Charger and opened the passenger door. He put his bag in, then followed it, fastening his seatbelt and staring through the windshield.

I nodded and leaned in. “I love you, Creature.”

Mark jutted out his chin and wouldn’t answer.

Ryan rolled the window up and backed from the driveway. I watched as the two guys I loved most in the world drove away.

*

RYAN

“Why didn’t you answer Tana when she said she loved you?”

Mark gave me a sideways glance. “Because I’m mad at her.”

“A man never misses a chance to tell his family he loves them even if he’s mad at them.”

“Oh. Is that in the health book, too?”

“What?” I shook my head, wondering what the hell he was talking about. “Why are you mad at her?”

“Because she kicked you out.”

“That’s not Tana’s fault. I had to leave. We needed to make room for your Mom to come back.”

“You could stay until she came home.”

“Tell you what. Why don’t we go see your mom right now and you can talk to her about all this.”

“Cool.” Mark bounced in the seat.

When we arrived at the hospital, Mama Leena was standing beside the hospital bed. Tana’s mom was awake and talking but still tired and a little groggy. The second she saw me, Mama Leena motioned me from the room.

“Stay in the room with your mom,” I told Mark.

Mama Leena led the way to the waiting room. She searched my face. “Abraham called. He told me what’s going on in your life.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you, Ryan. I love you as much as if I’d given birth to you and you will always be my son. Don’t do what you’re about to do. Please. For me.”

“It’s already done.”

She put a pleading hand on my arm. “You know my rules. You can’t stay in my house and be part of that world. It’s dangerous for you. I will not watch you self-destruct.”

“I already know that.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she searched my face. “Where are you going to stay?”

Like Abraham had said, I knew what I had to do. Push the people that I cared about away from me to keep them safe. I put a sneer on my lips. “Hell, if you’re kicking me out, what the fuck does it matter where I stay? I’ll get Juvante to pack up my stuff.”

I expected her to stiffen up and get mad but instead, she asked softly, “Why’d you give Ms. Shaw your mother’s necklace?”