His jaw tightened and I knew I was hurting him. I could see it, and I hated myself for it, but I wasn’t going to lose myself to him.

My voice hitched as I continued, “You don't love me, Ash. You want to possess me. And, sooner or later, it will break me. And I'll hate myself. I'll hate you.”

“I don’t want to...” He looked down, rubbing at the back of his neck. Shoulders slumped and head bowed, he looked defeated. “You're right. I'm a control freak. And I don't trust anyone. You know about Lily...”

“No,” I snapped, irritated. Shaking my head, I got to my feet and started to pace. “I don't want to hear about how your ex vanished and that's why you can't–”

“She sent me a letter,” he interrupted. “I never told Isadora because I wanted her to remember Lily as a good person, someone who loved us both.” He turned slightly so he wasn't facing me. “But she hadn't loved both of us. She'd never loved me. It'd all been a lie.”

My heart broke, but not only for the man standing in front of me. It broke for the young man who'd given up everything for his sister, who'd thought he'd found a ray of happiness in all of the grief. And then found out that it'd been a lie.

“I never wanted to be hurt like that again, so I closed down,” he said quietly. “I threw myself into my work, into raising Isadora. I told myself that she was the only person I could love because I knew she'd never betray me. She was the only person I could trust. And for years, she's been the only person I've ever wanted to let close.” He turned back towards me, eyes intent. “Until I met you.”

I swallowed hard. I wanted to believe him. I was tired of fighting with him, of being hurt by him.

“I tried so hard to not...I thought if I reduced what I felt for you to just sex, it'd go away. But it didn't. I couldn't stop thinking about you, wanting you. Yes, I want to control, to dominate you. I want to possess you because it's the only way I know how...” He swallowed hard. “I'm desperately in love with you, Toni.”

The baldly stated words made my heart clutch and I wrapped my arms around my middle. He came towards me and I wanted to run. I wanted to run as fast and far as I could and never look back. What I felt for him was too big, too scary, and I'd meant what I said. He had the power to break me, and if he did, I'd hate myself. And him.

When he reached me, he went to his knees in front of me and I stared down at him. He put his hands on my hips and gently coaxed me down to sit on the chair. We were the same height now and it took all my self-control not to look away. He slid his fingers into my hair, cupping my head in his hands. “You're the only woman I'll go to my knees for. I'll beg, if that's what it takes. Just tell me. Please, Toni. Just tell me what to do.”

Fuck.

I was still a novice to all this Dominant / Submissive thing, but I knew Ash, and I knew what it cost him to say those words, to ask me to tell him what to do. His fingers moved to cradle the back of my head and I fought a groan when he began to massage my scalp. Reflexively, I let my head slump forward, resting high on his chest.

“If you don't love me, if you don't want me, just tell me, please,” he said into my ear. “And I'll get up right now, and leave you alone. Doug can arrange for your safety, and I won't bother you again. But you have to tell me that you don't care about me.”

Damn him.

“I can't,” I whispered.

He tilted my head back until I met his searching gaze.

“You can't?” The vulnerable hope in his voice was my undoing.

I shook my head. “No. Because it wouldn't be true.”

The feel of his mouth on mine sent a shock through me and I shivered. His hands slid down my back and my arms moved to circle his neck. When he tugged me down onto his lap, I went slowly, although I couldn't say reluctantly.

He paused as he slid his lips down the line of my neck. “Do you want me to stop?” His breath was hot against my already over-heated skin.

My body definitely didn't want him to stop. Ever. But my brain was still looking out for my heart.

I pushed myself away from him and stood. It was easier to do this if he wasn’t touching me. “You need to understand something,” I said. “I'm done with the back and forth shit. I'm not expecting an overnight change, but if I don't see you trying to do better, if you aren't respecting me and my opinions, I’m gone, Ash. I'm not going to give you a warning, and I'm not going to let you in the next time you come around. It'll be over. For good.”

He nodded his understanding. “I will do better. And when I start to be a domineering asshole – outside of the bedroom…” He canted a grin at me. “Then I want you to call me on it. I’ll listen.”

“Will you?” I wanted to believe him.

He stood in front of me, his expression serious. “I will.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. This time, the kiss was deeper and...different. Hotter, sweeter, more intimate. It was almost like he was kissing me for the first time.

When he lifted his head, I was shaking, my body swirling with myriad emotions. My knees were weak, but his hands were on my hips, holding me up, giving me strength.

He pressed his mouth to my ear. “I want you naked.”

The words were soft, more like a question than an order. With a start, I realized he was waiting for permission.

“Since when do you wait for anything?” I asked him.

“Since I'm trying to prove to you that I can be different.”

My stomach clenched. He was serious.

“I never said I wanted anything different in the bedroom.”

His eyes darkened and, for a moment, he didn't do anything at all. Then he moved with a speed that left me breathless. He scooped me up into his arms and headed straight for the stairs. I had a feeling that if the sitting room had a door, he wouldn't have even bothered taking me upstairs.

He went into the first door he came to and kicked the door closed behind him. I looked around, surprised that we weren't in a bedroom, but what must've been some sort of small sitting room or reading room. He carried me over to a fat, over-stuffed love seat, and put me down on the heavily padded top before fumbling with my jeans.

Precariously perched there, I swayed a little as he dealt with my shoes, and then tugged me down so he could get me out of my jeans.

“One of these days,” he said against my lips. “I'm going to make love to you slow and easy.”

I could have told him that I didn't want slow and easy, but then he was lifting me onto the top of the love seat again. A moment later, he buried himself inside me, and I cried out his name. His fingers bit into the soft skin of my ass as his cock stretched me wide. I whimpered at the conflicting sensations of pain and pleasure. It happened so fast, my body wasn't prepared, no matter how much I wanted it.

He rested his forehead against mine as he held himself still inside me. “I love you, baby. Please, don't leave me.”

I strained against him, gasping when I felt his body rub against my clitoris. He shoved his hand under my shirt, cupping my breast through the material of my bra. He teased first one nipple, and then the other into hard, demanding points. I writhed against him, desperate for him to move.

“I love you,” he said again, the words fiercer this time. With his free hand, he yanked on my hair, forcing my head back so that we were staring at each other. Staring into his eyes, I realized he was serious. He meant it.

I let go of his shoulders and reached up to cup his face. Drawing him down, I brushed my lips against his. Only then did he begin to move, harsh, demanding strokes that drove deep inside me. I squeezed my eyes closed and pressed my face against his neck. Every thrust sent a shudder through me as he reached places inside me that no one else had ever been. And it wasn't just physical I forced myself to admit. I could feel the difference. He wanted my pleasure, but not for him. He wanted it for me.