“Joey, I’m having second thoughts,” I said weakly.

He stopped and backed out. “If you say no, we’ll stop. I’m not a jerk, and we only do this if you say yes,” he said quietly. “But I’m hoping—more like praying—you’ll say yes. I want to fuck you so badly. No, I need to fuck you. Let me be your first, Red.”

I’d like to say he finally believed I was a virgin, but I knew he only wanted sex. I might have been unskilled in sexual intercourse, but I wasn’t a novice when it came to men. They would say anything in order to get their cock sucked. I assumed it was the same with sex. Tell the girl anything she wants to hear. And there were worse things than being fucked by Joey Miles. Maybe this wouldn’t be bad and everything I’d heard had been a ploy to discourage the act.

He leaned forward and began kissing my neck and then my breasts. Even the slightest caress had me hot with need. My body ached to be touched by him. My center begged for his cock.

“Yes,” I squeaked out.

There were no words as he continued where he left off, stretching me inch by inch. For fuck’s sake, this was going to take forever. I’d rather he plowed in full throttle.

“Just do it, Joey.”

He paused. His face was a dimly lit outline, but I could feel droplets of sweat dripping from him. “Are you sure?” he asked, sounding breathless.

“Please,” I replied, my voice strangled, my breathing labored.

He pushed forward. I wasn’t prepared for the pressure or the pain. I’d been right. His dick was too big. Jesus, it hurt like hell. This was definitely worse than the dentist.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I heard Joey say under his breath. “Man, I am sorry. I had no idea. Son of a bitch.”

I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to cry. Tears brimmed at the edge of my eyes, but I refused to let them go. I was nineteen. It was time. This was it. No going back. For better or for worse.

The pressure began to lessen as he moved. I mimicked his movements. It was as if a light came on. My body liked this. No, it loved it. He pushed forward, and I could feel his balls against my bottom. It felt like my body had been sleeping and now was alive. I sensed all my nerves, especially in my lower half.

I could hear Joey grunting and groaning as he continued to rock into me. I heard a guttural cry rip loose from deep in my chest, and I hardly believed it was coming from me. My pulse spiked as my entire body responded to his continual thrusts. I became aware of a tightening in my pussy. It seemed to strangle his cock. It felt much tighter than before. My legs started to shake as I began to go into a euphoric state. I had been unsure if I ever had an orgasm before. Whatever I felt prior wasn’t this. I was definitely wrong. What I was now bordering on would change me forever. I’d never experienced anything like it.

“Oh…” I managed an ear-piercing scream as I felt my nails embed themselves into Joey’s upper arms. My body went stiff and I felt as though I were a slab of rock.

He continued to thrust faster and faster. “Baby, I’m coming… Oh God, it feels so good…”

I could feel his body shudder as he began to slow his pace. When he finally came to a stop, we lay there in silence. He moved slowly as he arched upward on one arm, pulling out. My thighs felt drenched, and I knew it wasn’t from my release. He adjusted himself, and I heard him struggle to remove the condom.

“Fuck, Red. I think you lived up to your name,” he said in a sarcastic tone.

I was seriously embarrassed. What had I been thinking? There must be blood everywhere. Oh my God, I think I can smell it. I sniffed the air. The room was rich with the scent of sex and copper.

“Where’s your bathroom? I need to wash up,” he asked.

I struggled to sit. I grabbed my sweats and put them across my crotch. For the first time, I felt dirty.

“First door around the corner,” I managed to croak out. I wanted to cry—again. Not because of physical pain, but because I was humiliated. The way Joey Miles acted, he made me feel like a whore, and for once, I was in agreement. I should have said no adamantly. He would have been satisfied with oral sex—they always are.

Maybe actual sex got better with time.

So this would be how I lost my virginity at nineteen. Banging the hottest jock in college, who had a broken arm, and I was bleeding everywhere. Bloodbath. Oh God.

“So, Red… it was…” He chuckled as he came back into the room. “Good thing I was able to clean up. Your neighbors would have thought I murdered you.” He tossed me a towel.

My face was burning brightly, and it was probably the exact color of the beach towels under me. I needed Joey to go home.

I could hear him fumbling around.

“Stop! Do not turn on the lamp. I’m embarrassed enough. Don’t make it worse.”

“Not to worry, Red. Just trying to find my keys.”

What a fucking prick. He was leaving? No after kissing or cuddling? Okay, I understood it was messy and probably grossly unsanitary, but really? What a dick.

“You’re leaving? Whatever.” I was miffed. Yes, I wanted him to go, but I wanted to be the one to ask him to leave. Fucker hadn’t even said anything about us having sex. Good, bad, or indifferent. Pig.

He knelt by me as I heard the jingling of keys. “I’m sorry, but were you expecting us to have a heart-to-heart afterward?” he said as he stood up, wrestling with his shirt. “Truth is I didn’t honestly believe you were a virgin. I mean, really? You, Red? Anyone who can polish a knob like you, I guess I just expected you to be experienced in the bedroom. It wasn’t bad. Don’t get me wrong. Just kind of messy.”

“Just fucking leave, asshole.”

“Oh, come on, Red. I’d be willing to come back in, say…” He paused briefly. “Three or four days and give it another go around.

“Don’t bother. It wasn’t that great,” I spit out.

“Mmm… interesting, since you have nothing to compare it with and your body tells a completely different story. I think you did like it. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say you loved it. Thanks for letting me be the one who broke you in.”

I was furious. I bolted up and wrapped the towel around my waist. “Please go. And I wouldn’t be so quick to think you were amazing. I have no doubt there are others that are better. Now get out.” I pushed him through the door, praying everyone on my floor was asleep or gone for the evening. Normally, I loved advertising my conquests, but not so much currently.

I could hear him whistle as he made his way down the hall.

Motherfucker. I quickly clicked on the light switch. Oh yeah, it was bad. Like crime scene bad. I grabbed the towels and tossed them on the kitchen floor in a pile, then scanned the carpet for any remnants of what just happened. I marched to the bathroom and got into the shower, standing there for at least twenty minutes. I let Joey Miles get to me. He broke my fucking spirit. I didn’t like it. I towel-dried myself and put on clean clothes before taking the dirty ones downstairs to the laundry room.

Once I loaded the washer, I retreated into my room. Cherry Garcia and I were going to get reacquainted. My lips on him and a spoon. I thought about what just happened and if I wanted to repeat it. Abso-fucking-lutely. True, the first five minutes were excruciating, and I hoped that didn’t happen every time. And no sex ever again during my cycle. Head only.

I chuckled. Joey Miles was now on my shit list. God help him if he told the tale of our one night together. I hoped my reputation wasn’t going to suffer. People generally liked me regardless of the sexual innuendos. I wondered what and if he was going to tell anyone. Men ordinarily bragged about their conquests. I was curious how much detail he would go into. I could always deny it, but I was never good at lying. It wasn’t in my nature. I was honest to a fault. And if he did spread all the details about tonight, my nickname would forever be RED—even if I dyed my hair a different color.