“Most of the time, I’m just teasing you.” His voice is a drop unsteady as he tiptoes around the big, ugly elephant in the room. “And I only do that, because I’m comfortable around you and you don’t expect anything from me.” He shrugs, offering me a small, oddly sheepish smile. “You treat me like a normal guy. You never use me to get to my brother.” Another shrug, like that’s that.

So, he definitely has issues with Kyler. But now that I think about it, I’m not that surprised. Kai always has kind of lived in Kyler’s shadow when it comes to sports and girls and grades. It’s not like he’s not good at any of those things. It’s just that he’s always one step behind Kyler, almost perfect, but not quite.

But he’s way funnier.

Maybe I should tell him that.

Be nicer to him than he’s been to me. Try to cheer him up like I used to.

“I’m going to stop you right there,” he says. “Because I can already see you trying to put me together, and no one can put me together, Isa. I’m all kinds of fucked up.” He swings around me and backs for the doorway. “And you still owe me a present for carrying your bags up the stairs. You better make sure to bring it to school with you on Monday; otherwise, I’m going to have to start charging interest.” He winks at me before turning on his heels and leaving my room.

The silence sets in as I take in the bare walls around me. “This is so depressing,” I mutter. “There’s no way I can look at this for the next nine months.”

An idea smacks me in the head. One that will more than likely get me into trouble with my parents, but fuck it. I’m already on the permanent Hate List with them. Besides, I didn’t work so hard to become a more confident person just to flush it down the toilet the moment I got home.

THE MURAL’S GOING to take a while and requires way more paint supplies than I have. Plus, I’m not the most fantastic painter, but I do know someone who’s an amazing artist.

I pick up my phone and call Indigo.

“Hey, I need a favor,” I say after Indigo answers my call.

She yawns. “Dude, Isa, I love you to death, but I just laid down to take a nap.”

“Sorry. I’ll make it quick.” I flop down on my unmade bed and stare up at my lame-ass, boring ceiling. “I need you to pick me up Monday after school then come over to my house and paint a mural on my wall.”

I chose Monday because Hannah will be at college orientation, at least according to the calendar downstairs. And more than likely, my mom will go with her, which means I’ll have the entire house to myself for a while.

“A mural?” Confusion laces her voice. “What are you talking about?”

Sighing, I quickly explain to her what happened to my room while I was gone. By the time I’m finished, she’s cursed about twenty times and called Lynn and Hannah some very creative names.

“Will you help me?” I ask after she stops freaking out.

“Of course I’ll help you,” she says, still sounding pissed off. “We’re so going to do something badass.”

“I have a couple of ideas actually.”

“Good. Draw them up, and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Awesome. And thanks.”

“No prob,” she says then yawns again. “All right, now I have to go to sleep, or I’ll be super pissy when you see me on Monday.

Laughing, I say goodbye, but I don’t put the phone away. I have one more call to make before I do.

I punch in Grandma Stephy’s number.

“You need me to come rescue you?” she asks the moment she picks up.

“Not yet, but I do need a favor.” I chew on my thumbnail then force myself to stop, because it’s going to ruin my nail polish. “I know you said to wait a few days and sit on it, but I’m ready to talk to my dad. I can’t wait anymore. I need to know.”

“Honey, I really think we should wait a couple of days. You never know. You might change your mind and decide to wait, at least until you go off to college and get out of that house.”

“Someone painted my room while I was gone.” I force down the lump in my throat. “And took down all of my posters and drawings. Everything that was me in this room is gone. I need to know what happened. It’s all I have left.”

“Isa, I’m so sorry. Goddammit, your family’s a bunch of assholes,” she curses, but when she speaks again, she’s calm. “You still have me, sweetie. You know that, right? Just because we’re not on a trip together doesn’t mean we can’t spend time together.”

“I know, but I really need to do this. Finding my mom . . . finding out why she gave me up . . . I need to know.”

Seconds tick by before she says anything.

“All right, I’ll call up your father and schedule a time for the three of us to have dinner next week at my place,” she says. “He’s going to know something’s up, though. I’m going to have to lie to him, or he won’t come over.”

“Tell him that you found something of Grandpa’s you think he might like,” I suggest. “He’s always had a soft spot for Grandpa.”

“That’s actually a good idea, but how am I supposed to get him to bring you over.”

“Just say you want to see me. He’s not going to argue. Not when Lynn will be more than glad to get a break from me.”

“I feel so sneaky right now,” she muses through a chuckle. “I like it.”

“That’s because you’re crazy,” I tell her, smiling for the first time in over a day.

“I know I am.” She pauses. “But, Isa, please promise me that no matter what happens with this—no matter where this goes—you’ll always come talk to me if anything’s ever bothering you. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re in this alone.”

I press my lips together and nod, even though she can’t see me. “I promise.”

“Good girl,” she says. “And remember, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

By the time I hang up, I’m crying. I decide to let it all out, because it’s better than holding it in and letting it smother me.

Ten minutes later, my eyes are swollen, I have the hiccups, and mascara and eyeliner stain my cheeks. I go to the bathroom to wash my face and fix my makeup before going back to my room and forcing myself to think about something other than my mom.

I stare out the window at the house next door, wondering when I’ll run into Kyler. Part of me wants to, while part of me would rather not, especially since he’s probably dating Hannah.

As I leave the window, I hear the front door open, and the sound of voices fills the house. Suddenly, all my Kyler and mom worries go bye-bye as bigger, more wicked problems arise.

I think about staying in my room. Never going out. But eventually, I’ll have to face them, so might as well rip off the Band-Aid now. Besides, maybe I can get to the bottom of where the hell my drawings ended up.

Mustering up every ounce of courage I gained on the trip, I square my shoulders and march downstairs. But when I enter the living room and see my dad, Lynn, and Hannah all chilling on the sofa, surrounded by tons of shopping bags, chatting about orientation, my confidence goes see ya later.

I start to turn around to leave, when I hear Hannah say, “What the hell happened to you?”

Summoning a deep breath, I turn around and face them. “Hey.”

“Um . . .” Hannah stares at me with her jaw hanging to her knees, totally speechless.

I fight the urge to cross my arms and try to cover myself up. “So, yeah, I’m back.”

“We can see that.” Lynn stares at me with an unwelcoming expression, and even though it doesn’t seem possible, I swear her eyes carry more hatred for me than they ever have.

I hold her death glare, though, even if my insides are jiggling around like a bouncy house. I know who you really are. Know where that look of hate comes from. Trust me, I get it. Dad cheated on you, and you hate me, but you know what? You had no right to treat me the way you did, and one day I’m going to let you know that.