He hesitates at first, but then his hand moves to the back of my head, pulling me into him. He growls into my mouth as he deepens the kiss. Touch me with your hands, I want to scream. Finally, his other hand finds its way to my knee. I part my legs slightly, and the cool night air gushes in, hitting my centre. He forced me into wearing no panties, so why isn’t he taking advantage of it?

He slides his hands up the inside of my leg, but stops before it reaches where I need it. I continue to work him over, but still his hand doesn’t move up any further. I can’t take much more of this. The anticipation already has me on the edge. Using my other hand, I grasp his wrist and move it the rest of the way. He chuckles into my mouth. God he infuriates me sometimes. “Don’t make me beg.”

“Fuck. You’re so wet,” he groans as his fingers slide between my folds.

“What do you expect? You’ve been driving me crazy all night. Since when do you keep your hands to yourself?”

“Keeping my hands off you hasn’t been easy,” he breathes as his skilled fingers circle my clit.

“Oh God,” I moan. “I think I’m going to come already.” He pulls his hand away as soon as I say that. What the hell?

“I don’t want you to come yet,” he says. “Wait. It will be all the sweeter.” He’s fucking kidding me, right? By the look on his face, I can tell he isn’t. Me and my big mouth.

“I don’t want to wait,” I whine as I pull his mouth back to mine. “I need you, Carter. I need you now.”

“I need you too, but not here.” He pulls back and looks down at his watch. “Jax should be here in ten minutes. I’ll shoot him a text and make sure he’s on his way.” I sit back in my chair, folding my arms over my chest like a spoilt child while he types a message into his phone. I’ve never been one for public sex, but right now, I’d do just about anything. I’d sit on his lap and ride him with everything I had, even calling out giddy-up on the top of my lungs. I wouldn’t care who was watching. That’s how desperate I am.

He’s done this on purpose. The no underwear thing. Every look, every word, every touch. It’s all been part of his big stupid plan. I’ve heard of blue balls, but is there such a thing as blue flaps? Because seriously, if there is then I have them. I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life. I clench my thighs together again. Just thinking about it is driving me insane.

Mark never got me this worked up. Not even close. I never craved him the way I crave Carter. “Maybe I should pleasure myself then,” I say moving my hand under the table. He stops typing and grabs hold of my wrist.

“Like hell you will.” He lifts my hand back on top of the table, pinning it down with his. He uses his thumb on his other hand to finish his text. Once it’s sent he places his phone down and locks his eyes with mine. “Surely you can hold out for ten minutes,” he says with a cocky smirk on his face. I narrow my eyes at him.

“No, I can’t. I’m dying here,” I snap. His face drops and his free hand skims through his perfectly dishevelled hair. It was meant as a joke, but then what I said dawns on me. I’m dying. Fuck. Am I? I could be. I didn’t mean it like that. My stomach churns as he pulls me into his arms and practically squeezes the life out of me.

“Don’t say that,” he whispers against my hair. I can feel his body trembling against mine. He’s done a good job of distracting us both, until now. Uncertainty looms in the air. I refuse to die. Tomorrow we’ll find out exactly what we’re dealing with. I can do this, I tell myself. I’m tough. I’m gonna fight this illness with everything I have. I just hope I’m tough enough.

••••

Carter walks me to the car when Jax arrives. Once he gets me seated in the passenger seat, he moves around to the driver’s side and places the key in the ignition. The heater blasts to life. The warmth is heaven, just what I need. My jacket kept me reasonably warm, but my legs and my feet are frozen. He turns it up to high before smiling at me.

“I’ll just help Jax pack everything into his car. It won’t take long,” he says, kneeling on his seat and leaning across the centre console, brushing his lips against mine. “You stay here and warm up.” I smile when he pulls away from me. I’m so lucky to have him. I’m glad he came back. I’m also glad things didn’t work out with Mark. I need Carter in my life.

I need him more than he’ll ever know.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Carter

“You okay?” Jax asks as we carry the table and chairs back to his car.

“I’m good,” I answer, which is a total fucking lie.

“Bullshit man. I know you better than you think. Is there trouble in paradise already?”

“No. Just something Indi said earlier spooked me, that’s all.” He gives me a look.

“Fucking women,” he says shaking his head. “I knew she was too good to be true. Is she talking about marriage and kids already?”

“What? Fuck no.” I sigh as her words play over in my head. I’m dying here. Fuck I hope she doesn’t believe that. I don’t even want to go there. She’s been so positive, and I’ve been drawing from that. In reality, I know she didn’t mean it that way, but under the circumstances, hearing those words leave her mouth really fucked with my head. “She has a brain tumour,” I confess, meeting his gaze. I haven’t told him about her illness.

“She fucking what?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty fucked up. I’ve only just got her back and now I might lose her again. She gets the final results tomorrow. That’s why I organised tonight. I wanted to give her something to hold on to. Something to help get her through the treatment.”

“Jesus,” he says as he stops walking. “I had no idea. I’m sorry for calling you a pussy man. You should’ve told me.”

“Don’t be. You didn’t know.”

“Is she going to be okay? She’s not going to die is she?” I fucking hope not.

“We won’t know the extent until tomorrow. She had an MRI this morning. We already know she has a small tumour on her brain, but tomorrow we find out if there’s any secondary cancer. If not, her prognosis looks pretty good.”

“Shit. That’s fucked up.” I nod, passing him the chairs to stow in his trunk. It is. Fucked up is an understatement.

“Thanks for helping me tonight,” I say grasping his shoulder. “It meant a lot to both of us.”

“Shit, it’s the least I could do. I’m sorry I gave you grief about it. I wouldn’t have been such a cocksucker if I’d known the reason behind it,” he admits.

“I won’t hold it against you. I’ve known you long enough to know being a cocksucker comes naturally. You can’t help it. It’s just who you are.” I chuckle when he punches me in the arm.

“Let me know how tomorrow goes, okay?” The sincerity on his face makes me smile. He’s a good bloke. I’m lucky to have him as a friend. He’s been like a big brother to me for the past five years.

“I will. Thanks,” I say heading back towards my car. I try to push tomorrow out of my head so I can concentrate on tonight. I need to get Indi’s hot, willing, and sexy-as-fuck body back to the hotel ASAP, so I can lose myself in her. I can’t wait another minute.

Indi smiles at me once I’m seated in the car. She really is a stunner. Fucking gorgeous. I don’t even think she realises how beautiful she is. She still takes my breath away after all this time. I don’t think that will ever change. “You alright?” I ask reaching for her hand.

“I’m perfect. Tonight was perfect,” she replies squeezing my hand. “I don’t want it to end.”

“Who said anything about it ending? It’s only just beginning.” I reach across the centre console and thread my hand through her hair, bringing her face towards me. She comes willingly. Her soft warm mouth presses against mine, and I’m lost again. I’ve never been much into kissing, but with her, I don’t ever want to stop.