“I’m fine.” Pauline tried to smile as the lie left her lips. “It’s just that I’ve lost my key and I really need to get into the house. I’m sorry… I’ll pay for the locks to be replaced.”

“Locks? What are you talking about? What’s happened? Come in for Pete’s sake! Come in. Can you manage? Have you been in an accident? Oh no, you haven’t been mugged? You’ve been mugged! Oh you poor thing. Come on in, I’ll call an ambulance.”

“No, no please. I’m fine.”

“Fine? You certainly are not fine! Have you seen yourself? Your poor face! No, you need an ambulance, and the Police. I’ll get the police. Come in… will you just come in?”

Pauline gingerly climbed the three old stone steps. Holding onto the door for support she made her way into the narrow hallway of the farmhouse.

Dolly took her arm and led her towards the open door in the cream painted wall. “Now, first of all, where are you hurt? Are you sure you don’t want me to call an ambulance?”

“No, no, I’m sorry to disturb your evening, really I am. I just want to get into the house and have a bath actually…”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t go off on your own. Let me at least get you a cup of tea and help you to clean up those wounds.”

“Wounds.” Pauline raised a hand and touched her swollen lips. The aches and soreness that she felt had become so much a part of every movement that she had given no thought to her appearance. “Is it bad? Does it look bad?”

“Well, I’m sorry, but yes. Whoever did this… Did someone do this? You haven’t told me; what happened to you? Was it an accident or were you mugged?”

An escape was presented to her. In just those few words, several possibilities opened up and she searched for an answer that would be so much better than the truth. Then like a grey blanket exhaustion and defeat descended and she was just too tired and battered to begin to form the lies.

“No, I haven’t been mugged. Oh Dolly, there’s a man, dead. I killed him.” As the words became reality her shattered spirit finally unwound into tears of fear and horror. Dolly flopped onto the settee beside her and wrapped her in a gentle hug as she sobbed. Great wracking gulps convulsed her trembling body. The other woman crooned soft, disbelieving murmurs.

“Now, now come on, come on. Don’t be silly, calm down. Hush, hush.”

As she regained control Pauline pushed back and took hold of both of Dolly’s hands in hers. She drew in a deep, steadying breath. “I have Dolly! I couldn’t help it. I think he was going to kill me, I really do, and I pushed him, oh God. He’s in the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.”

Uncertainty and disbelief met her gaze now. “What happened? Did he take you away? Oh no, no… have you been raped? Oh Pauline!”

“No, no. I haven’t… he didn’t. No. I don’t know what to do next though.”

“Well, we’ll have to have the police. You do see that, don’t you? If he took you away and there was an accident or… well… whatever happened, you have to tell them. They won’t blame you, I’m sure they won’t. Apart from that you know we have to get the coastguard, get him back. We can’t risk someone finding him. Think how awful that would be? No, we must get some help.” The sensible schoolteacher like part of her took over now and Dolly stood and reached for a soft woollen blanket that covered a nearby chair. She wrapped it around Pauline’s shivering shoulders.

“Now, I’m going to make you some hot tea. I’m going to send Jim up to the rocks so that he can get an idea about what has to be done; you know, to fetch the body back, and he can call the police.” She turned and walked from the room shouting as she went. “Jim! Jim! Get down here will you? We need some help!”

Pauline laid her head back against the soft cushions and closed her eyes. Her mind raced. What was she to do now? To stick to the truth would expose the past lies or she could cover the mess with yet more subterfuge. For just one brief moment it seemed that maybe it would have been better had she been the poor broken body washing about in the waves at the foot of the promontory with all her troubles gone and finished.

Chapter 27

She wanted to be clean. The soft sleeping suit that she wore was stained and ripped. It was impossible to distinguish bruising from dirt on her hands and her nails were filthy and torn. She ran a hand through her hair and felt grit there in the salt laden strands.

“Dolly, please can you just give me a key and let me go and have a shower? I feel disgusting.”

“I’m sorry my dear, the police were very firm on that. They’ll be here soon, Jim has spoken to them and they are on the way. They said you weren’t to try and clean yourself up though before they’ve been. It’s evidence you see.”

“Evidence?”

“Yes, the way that you look, bits of stuff on your skin and your clothes. Oh now don’t cry, please don’t. It’s horrible I know, but it’s for the best that they see you like this,” she swept a hand towards where Pauline curled on the couch, legs drawn up under the blue blanket. “Well then they’ll see, won’t they, that you weren’t to blame.”

“I was though, I was. I’m to blame!”

“Now, come on, please don’t do this to yourself. You’ve been through a terrible time. Don’t wind yourself up. Of course you weren’t to blame. I don’t know what the world’s coming to when innocent people can’t even sleep in their beds without… well… this.”

“Innocent? I’m not sure I am Dolly! I didn’t mean for any of this. I don’t know how everything has turned out this way. I didn’t think… I just tried to help and then I was afraid… but I did it, I pushed him and before that, earlier, I lied. If I hadn’t lied in the first place this wouldn’t have happened and they were such stupid lies, probably not even necessary, but I was scared.”

“Now, come on. You’re not making any sense and I think it’s best if you just sit quietly and wait for the police. I’ll make some more tea and how about a piece of toast? Could you eat a piece of toast?”

At the thought of food Pauline’s stomach churned and she shook her head and gulped back the bile in her throat. “A cup of tea would be nice.”

All she had tried to do was protect herself. Right from the start the lies had been only to hide from George. The accident and all the horror that had come from her one kind action was still an unexplained nightmare. There had been no diamonds, no bag, no memory stick. She closed her eyes and concentrated on remembering the man when she had first found him, unconscious, his legs in the ditch. She remember the fear and panic. She had gone through his pockets looking for a phone but there had been nothing. She had only looked in his jeans anyway. Perhaps the things that he had lost were in his leather jacket? If that was the case though then where were they now? If the hospital had kept her jacket and handed it to him with its traitorous note inside then surely they would have returned his jacket to him as well?

So, someone else had removed the bag then. Surely not the rescue services, nurses, doctors; they were people to trust weren’t they, not thieves and pickpockets. No, there must be another explanation. Perhaps the bag had fallen into the road and been swept away? It may be lying in the ditch even now. But would he not have gone there? Surely he had looked? Now it was too late to ask him, even as the salt and grit dried in her hair the regret and self doubt crept into her mind. She had handled this all wrong, hadn’t she; everything she had touched had been tainted by her own desire for safety. Could she not have talked to him, logically and calmly? The horror was retreating now in the warmth of Dolly’s home and so Pauline began to second guess her actions and her shocked and confused mind filled with what ifs.

As thoughts chased puzzles through her head she rubbed her hands together and the chaffing on her wrists spoke plainly of the truth. He hadn’t wanted conversation and explanation; he was convinced that she had his property and his anger had been driven partly by fear. She had seen it in his eyes when he had screamed at her. The fog of confusion closed her lids and exhaustion lulled her to sleep before she realised that she had drifted away…