When it’s over. It would never be over. She would remember his screams forever. “Bitch! Bitch!” And the look in his eyes as he had scrabbled in the rocks for handholds and felt the cliff edge give beneath his panicked feet. No, some things were never over.

Chapter 29

She had expected it to be hard. Pauline told herself that after all she had been through the police with their questions would be difficult to face, but she would get through it. In the event it was far harder than she had imagined.

They still didn’t know what to think of her. They had offered to bring a solicitor. The idea chilled her and she refused. Because she was still in pain from her injuries they had come to the farm instead of taking her to the police station. Their puzzlement had led them to be more gentle with her than she had expected but the kindness didn’t lessen the guilt and the fear she felt.

It was calm and quiet in the lounge. A constable stood near the door. The hush was broken only with the sound of rain in the trees and splashing against the windows and the occasional whoosh as a car passed on the wet road outside. Detective Ryan pursed her lips and shook her head, just a quick flick. She raised her eyes to meet the troubled gaze of the beaten, sad looking woman perched on the edge of the old settee.

“We haven’t found a body. Teams have been out searching all yesterday and again this morning but there is no sign. So, either he wasn’t dead and left under his own steam...” As Pauline opened her mouth to speak the policewoman raised a hand. “Or, there was no body, and that presents a puzzle of its own.”

“He must have washed away. The tide took him.”

“No, it’s unlikely. We have had an expert from the coastguard consulting and – taking into account the time of year – when you say you last saw the body and the state of the tide it would be almost impossible for it to wash out to sea. You say it was caught in the rocks for one thing.”

“Yes, yes it was. I called down to him, the water was turning him and moving him, but he was caught amongst the rocks. Yes.”

“Exactly. And at this time of the year that is the high tide level so it would take a freak wave, or some other unlikely event to move him.”

“Well, it could happen, couldn’t it?”

“Yes, it could. But then the formation of the coast there means the body would wash to the other side of the bay and not out into open water.

“The thing is Pauline, if there is no body, there is no reason for you to have called us. But there are your injuries which are obvious. Do you understand my dilemma? If what you are telling me is not true then it gives us a whole other set of problems. We have been trying to contact your husband on the number you gave us but haven’t been able to get an answer. There is nobody at the address. Would you expect him to be there? Have you spoken to him yourself?”

So there he was again; George. She was beginning to see, no matter how far she ran, no matter what horror she endured he would be there. She drew in a deep breath.

“I left him. I think I told you.”

“Yes, I remember and we need to speak to him, to confirm that. We need you to clarify what exactly had happened because it is a rat’s nest at the moment.”

“I lied you see. I lied to the police.”

“Ah. So are you telling me now there was no body, no attack?”

“No, no you don’t understand. I didn’t lie to you. This isn’t a lie. I lied before, to the police in Yorkshire.”

“What police in Yorkshire?”

“I left home, well, left George, but he didn’t know, he was away. That's why I chose to go just then. I had planned it all and I was coming here to hide. I’ve bought a house in France. That’s where I’m going; the day after tomorrow it should be.”

“Well, I have to tell you that at the moment it would be better if you don’t plan on going anywhere out of the country. Not until this is all sorted out.”

She hadn’t understood. The uproar had been so loud in her life that she hadn’t appreciated how her plans may be spoiled and her very future put in jeopardy. The realization was a physical blow. Drawing breath into her lungs, hanging on to a semblance of sanity, just holding on was all she could manage. Her hands were clasped in her lap, the knuckles white with tension and thoughts jittered and spun in her brain when she closed her eyes. Was there a way through this? If there was she couldn’t find it, not right now, maybe not ever.

Her voice was swamped with tears as she forced out the next words. “Am I going to go to prison?”

Anne Ryan spoke quietly, slowly. “It’s too early to say what is going to happen, Pauline. Right now all I have is confusion. Look, I need to ask you this and I know it might be tricky but you have to be honest with me. Have you ever had trouble with your nerves? Have you ever seen a psychiatrist Pauline? Do you think this could be… well, do you think it might not have happened the way you think?”

They thought she was mad. As the spectre of mental illness was raised yet another path in the maze was opened.

Chapter 30

“Look, I think the only thing I can do here is to go back to the beginning. Well not quite... oh hell. Yes, the beginning.” Pauline squared her shoulders. She drew in a breath and lowered her head. When she lifted her face again she looked across at Detective Ryan. Her gaze steady but her eyes flat, helpless.

“My husband beat me, he beat me often and I didn’t tell anyone because I was ashamed and frightened. I stopped seeing my friends and I made a life that worked for me. In between the hell with George I had a life that I could live. I did my garden, I looked after the house and I spent hours and hours alone, walking in the hills. It was small and empty. All I had was the cat and my flowers.” The tears had begun to flow as she had known they would but she swiped them away with a tissue and carried on.

“I put up with it for twenty years and then I had the chance to get away. I left, I didn’t tell him I was going I just left.”

Detective Ryan had tried to maintain an aura of cool detachment but the distress coming from the other woman in waves was making her uncomfortable. “Is it relevant to what has happened here Pauline? Are you telling me that the dead man was your husband?”

“Will you just listen? Can you do that; just listen and I’ll tell you? There was an accident on the road and I tried to help. I called the police, I held his hand, I sat in a sodding ditch and held his hand.

“I looked in his pocket for a phone, just for his phone.”

“So, why did you lie, what was the lie?”

“I was afraid that if I gave my name and address that somehow it would get back to George and he would be able to find me. I was upset, I was scared and so I made up a phone number and I gave a false address. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.”

The police constable had stepped further into the room and the atmosphere was charged with emotion. Things were getting out of hand. Anne Ryan gathered her bag and folio together. “You’re distressed Pauline, this won’t work. You need a solicitor, you need to calm down and come to the police station. I’ll arrange it.”

“No.” Pauline shot from her seat and took the few paces to the door. She stood with her back to the old wood, her hands braced behind her. “No, listen to me. Let me tell you. You have to listen to me now.”

The young officer and the detective shot a glance across the small space. Ryan held out a hand. “Alright, but try to keep calm. Come on back. Come and sit down, please just sit down.” They waited until Pauline was perched, tense and watchful on the edge of the seat.

“I thought it would be alright. I listened to the news and they said that he was in hospital. After a while I put it behind me and I believed it to be over.