“Come on, darlin’.” Beau helps me up and holds me close as we say our goodbyes to everyone. Brooks accepts my hug, and our promise to take good care of Mia before leaning in and kissing her sweet little face.

“You ride with Holly. I don’t have a helmet with me,” Beau tells me as we follow Sy and Holly out of the hospital. “We’ll ride behind.”

I nod and take his kiss before planting my ass in the passenger side of Holly’s car.

After settling Mia into her seat, we set off, and before I can fight it, my eyes turn heavy, and I’m out again, the warmth of the car lulling me back to sleep.

“Darlin’,” Beau’s soft voice calls to me as he releases me from my belt. “You fell asleep,” he whispers as I come back to myself.

“It wasn’t a dream.” I start to cry. The day’s events finally catching up with me. “It’s still real, Beau.” I shake my head, fighting to escape the darkness.

“Come on, you need to sleep. You okay with Mia, Sy?” Beau asks, and I think I hear him reply, but I can’t be sure. Every second of the day, every action, and reaction washes over me as it all plays out in my mind over and over.

Kelly is in a coma. Beau has done something bad, and it’s all because of me.

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?” I ask Beau three nights later when we climb into bed at home. We just came back from the hospital; it’s been seventy-two hours since the doctors put Kelly in a medically induced coma. Every day we’ve woken up, had breakfast, dressed and headed over to see her. Every day we’ve prayed for her to heal and be okay, but as of today, she’s not ready to come out. As devastating as it is, the doctors assure us it’s for the best. Her brain function is good. Her vitals are strong, but the swelling is still a factor, they’re not prepared to bring her out of it yet.

“The less you know, the better, darlin’,” Beau tells me the same thing he’s told me the last three nights before he flicks off the lamp and curls into me with his front to my back.

“Beau, please don’t keep this from me. I can’t handle it. With everything else going on, I don’t need this between us.” I try to roll to face him, but his hold is too firm.

“He’s not going to give you more trouble,” is all he gives away while pulling me tighter against him.

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” He doesn’t answer me, the room growing eerily quiet. My hands move to his arm that’s holding me and I pry it off me. “Don’t you dare keep this from me.” I sit up and look down at him. “Please.” I’m just shy of pleading, but I don’t care. I need to know.

He lets out a frustrated sigh, before rolling back over, flicking on the lamp and coming to sit up with me. “If he’s not already, then he will be soon,” he says casually, like he’s just given me the time.

“No, Beau.” I shake my head, not okay with this at all. His hands come to my face, stopping my freak out.

“Mackenzie, he fucking put Kelly in the hospital. In a fucking coma. Don’t make this out to be anything more. He fucked up.”

“But what if it comes back on you?” I push, hating that this is all because of me. Two days ago, Jackson came to the hospital to take my statement regarding what I knew. Unless Beau knows and hasn’t told me otherwise, the man responsible for hitting Kelly with the baseball bat is still out there. The cameras at Missy’s didn’t get his face, so until she wakes up, we won’t know who we’re dealing with.

“I promise you it won’t.” He sounds so sure, I don’t know if I should be scared, or relieved. I know Beau is capable of being a dangerous man. I know who his club deals with sometimes, but I also know deep down in my soul he would never hurt me.

“I’m scared, Beau. I’m scared for Kelly. For Brooks. For Mia. For you.” He drops his hands and pulls me into his lap. I don’t fight him. My need to be close to him only grows stronger the more reality seeps in.

“I know you are, darlin’, and I wish I could reach in and take your fear from you, but I can’t. I can only tell you I have your back. Nothing will touch you. You have to trust me.”

“I did this. I made you do this. It’s already on me, Beau.” Bile creeps up the back of my throat, but I force it back down.

“Bullshit, he did this. Not you. I don’t want to hear you say that shit again.”

“For all I know you killed a man for me, Beau. How can you expect me not to react?”

“I didn’t kill him, darlin’,” he whispers, his voice almost disappointed.

“Then what happened?” The air grows thick as we both sit and look at each other, neither one of us speaking until Beau takes my hand. “I love you, Kenz, but I’m not gonna talk about this with you. Do you hear me?” Reluctantly, I nod, in understanding more than anything. If Beau didn’t kill him, then someone else did and he won’t tell me.

“I need to hear the words.”

“Yes, I understand, Beau.” I give him the words he needs to relax.

“Do you trust me, darlin’?”

“More than myself,” I answer without pause. He has to know how much trust I have in him. How much he could destroy me. We are connected like nothing else. I trust him with everything.

“Then breathe, darlin’. Trust that I have you. That I have this.” I nod, giving it over to him and maybe even more. This thing between us is bigger than I’ve ever felt before; this is on a whole new level.

“Good girl, now come here.” He falls back, pulling me down with him so my body covers his.

“Just promise me she’s going to be okay.” I press my lips to his and close my eyes, almost praying he grants my wish.

“I promise you’re going to be okay.” I open my eyes when he doesn’t give me what I want.

“I don’t care about me. I need her to be okay.” He rolls us to his left, following me over and covering me with his weight.

“I care about you. I need you to be okay.” I shake my head, not sure if I’ll ever be okay.

Not after this.

When I came here, I couldn’t imagine my situation getting any worse. I thought after everything I had been through, surely this time around would finally give me my happy ending.

Look where it got me. I was to blame for bringing this to their lives. I knew it. Beau knew it. Everyone in the club knew it.

But no one is saying it.

No, I won’t be okay, not until Kelly is.

Not until this is over.

Thirty

Beau

“Mackenzie? Did you hear me?” She looks up at my voice and smiles. But it’s not like her usual smile. This one’s new. It’s the one she started giving after Kelly was hurt. Each day it kills me and each day it gets worse.

After the first three days, Kelly’s swelling didn’t come down as quickly as the doctors first hoped. She was kept in her induced coma for nine days before they brought her out. Only she didn’t respond. Three weeks later and she still hasn’t woken up. She’s breathing on her own, her brain function is normal, she’s shown signs she’s there, but she hasn’t come out yet. We’re all hopeful, telling ourselves she’s just taking a little longer to come out of it because her body is healing. Most injuries with the brain vary from case to case, so all we can do now is wait.

“Yeah, just finishing up. You go on ahead.” Mackenzie waves me off and goes back to reading.

“Must be some book you have there.” I reach down and pull it out of her hands.

“Hey!” She shifts forward to grab it back, but I don’t let her.

“Reading time’s over. You’re coming to bed with me.”

“Beau, I was at the best part.” She fights it, but I’m done with this shit. I’m not letting her play this card anymore.