“Fuck, so tight.”

“Stop.” My hand stills, still inside her heat.

“Don’t freak out on me now, baby,” I say as my orgasm ends. She lets my cock go then moves back from me, breaking our connection. My body feels heavy, sated and relaxed. If I wasn’t three parts gone, I’d offer to finish her off. But keeping my eyes open seems to be a hard task.

Reaching over for a discarded shirt on the floor, I offer it to her, then I clean up my mess and throw it in the vicinity of my dirty clothes hamper.

“Come here. I’m not done with you, sweetheart, but I need to sleep for a bit.” I reach for her and pull her to me. She lets out a small yelp but I don’t hear her argue. Instead, I close my eyes and let sleep take me.

“No, no, no. Don’t you fucking leave me. Conner! Fucking stay with me.” I can see Conner’s eyes starting to lose their light. I wish I could go to him, fucking help him, but I’m pinned and I can’t get out.

“Sat-Con is down,” I hear someone call, and I fucking know my friend is dying in front of me, yet I can’t fucking get to him. We won’t get out of this alive.

“Breathe, Marine,” I order and I can see he is fighting it, but is it enough? “Fucking breathe or die, Conner,” I say, anger replacing my fear.

“Jefferies?” I call again, but I know we’ve lost him. Where the fuck is everyone?

“Fucking get us out of here!” I shout again, but I know it’s too late.

I wake in a sweat, heart thumping, blood pumping, and hands shaking as I slowly come back to my room.

“Are you okay?” a soft voice asks next to me as I try to calm myself down. Jesus, I still have a bitch here?

“Yeah.” I shake my head, sitting up to get my bearings. It’s only been a couple of hours or so and I’ve woken up from a dream again. Fuck, it’s going to be a long night. “You should go.” I stand and pull my jeans on.

“Okay, but,” she mumbles, but I don’t want to hear what she has to say.

“Listen, I had a great time but it’s over. You know the score, out.” I don’t bother to face her. I don’t think I can face anyone right now. It’s still dark out and I know it’s a shitty move, but the bitch should have left when we finished our business.

“Great time?” she repeats.

“Fine, it was fucking awesome, okay? Great fuck. See you around.” I move toward the bathroom.

“But we didn’t—”

“Get the fuck out, now,” I roar, not in the mood. The dream fucked with me this time, and I’m hanging on by a thread. I don’t stick around waiting for her response. I move to the bathroom and slam the door shut, heading straight to the shower.

The truth is I don’t even remember coming back to bed. I remember arriving at the clubhouse after my physical therapy session. I remember Nix slurring his ass off and I remember meeting some blonde. After that, it’s black. I fucking knew I shouldn’t have taken my meds and drank.

Dropping my pants, I kick them off and step into the shower. I let the hot water wash over my pounding head and force myself to not go over the dream again. Instead, I try to remember how the small brunette ended up in my bed.

A smash followed by a crash pulls me out of my head.

“Jesus Christ, the bitch has gone stage-five clinger.” I step out of the shower, reach for my towel and wrap it around me. “I told you to fucking leave.” I push the bathroom door open and watch her trying to pick up the lamp she knocked over.

“I’m so sorry. I tripped.” She replaces the lamp and looks away from me.

“Just go,” I say and watch her stumble again. Fucking bitch is clumsy.

“Yes, okay.” She reaches the door and hightails it out.

“Close the fucking door,” I shout but she doesn’t stop. Turning back to the bathroom, I storm back into the shower and try to forget about the last twenty-four hours. I don’t know why I’m so pissed. Normally after a night of booze and women, I’m able to shove my dreams way back down, even go back for round two, but tonight, I can’t get a handle on it.

Finishing my shower I stay naked, close the door the bitch left open, then throw myself back into bed. My room smells like sex, my sheets in need of a fucking wash, but I block it all out and hope come morning, the fucking dream is out of my head.

“Morning, fuckers.” I walk out to the kitchen the next morning to start my day, flashing my happy-go-fucking-lucky smile.

“What the fuck is good about this morning?” Nix grumbles and I remember the shit he was slurring last night.

“Yeah, what the fuck are you so happy about?” Beau asks, pouring himself a coffee.

“I know.” Holly smiles around a mouthful of toast.

“What would you know?” I accuse, hoping she doesn’t see through my shit.

“I know that smile is extra wide because of who you had in your bed last night.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Holly?” I move toward the coffee not in the mood to play her guessing game.

“I saw Nurse Bell doing the walk of shame last night.”

What the fuck?

“Nurse Bell?” Sy asks, looking up at his woman.

“Fuck off.” I shake my head thinking she’s fucking with me. That shit didn’t happen.

“Don’t deny it, Jesse.”

“That wasn’t Bell. That was…” I search for her name. “Gretchen. No Grace,” I say finally, remembering the small clumsy woman’s name.

“Jesse, I spoke to her for a few minutes.” She smiles like someone who just showed her trump card. “It was Bell.”

“It wasn’t Bell,” I repeat, forcing myself to try to remember her face. Jesus, fuck, I’m such a fucker I can’t even remember her face.

“It was. She was here with some friends,” Holly argues while I desperately try to remember. “I thought she looked familiar when she walked in,” Holly keeps talking, unaware of my inner turmoil. “She looks so different dressed up,” she says and it clicks.

Holy fuck. It was her. Fuck me, Nurse Bell. I fucked Nurse Bell? The woman who has played hard to get since I met her, the same woman I just kicked out of my bed hours ago.

“Are you okay, Jesse?” Sy asks, picking up on my panic, but I don’t answer. What’s there to say? I don’t even remember fucking her.

Fuck. How could I fuck this up so bad?

Six BELL

“You jerked him off?” Lissy gasps and I know I shouldn’t have done this over the phone. I should have told her last night on our way home from the Knights Rebels’ clubhouse, but I was feeling sorry for myself. I just wanted to get home and shower. I refused to talk about what happened with any of the girls, and when I woke this morning, at Lissy’s house, I snuck home before they could drill me again.

“Ugh, yes.”

“Oh, my God, is he huge? Was it good? What else happened?” She keeps the questions coming, but I don’t answer. I’m too busy playing the night over and over in my head. I knew when Jesse walked up to the blonde I was losing my chance to talk to him. It was like watching him slip through my fingers. I thought my chance was gone, then Lissy managed to get the blonde away, and Jesse crashed into me. I wasn’t expecting him to come on to me. I knew he was drunk. I watched him throw back way too many drinks, but it didn’t stop me from letting him take me to his room. Didn’t stop me from turning back to watch him touch himself. And I definitely didn’t stop myself from touching him. It was as if my body was on autopilot and I had no control.

“Hello, Earth to Bell. What else happened then?” Lissy asks again, breaking my train of thought.

“Nothing.” I keep my answer vague, hoping Lissy will find it boring enough to keep to herself, because the last thing I need is for the others to find out what happened. “You’re no fun, so why didn’t you tell him it was you?” She keeps asking the questions I keep rolling around in my head.