“You stink. Let me go.” I pull back but he doesn’t release me just yet.

“Just a bit longer,” he says, before finally letting me go. I flick his ear and move away from him before he pulls me back.

“I’ll get you for that, squirt.” A slow smile spreads across his face, one that doesn’t reach his blue eyes. It never reaches anymore. Long gone is the man who would embarrass me with bad jokes and laugh until he would cry at our displeasure. The man who would drive us to sleep overs and scare boys away with his over protectiveness. I’m so used to seeing this older, sadder man who sits before me, I wouldn’t recognize that man any more.

“Where are you going tonight, Bell?” Mom asks, breaking up the small amount of lightness my dad lets himself have.

“Just to the movies with Lissy.” I let my lie roll off my tongue with ease. I’m not going to the movies with Lissy, but a date with a biker. Jesse. It’s wrong to lie to my mother, and I know I shouldn’t do it, but there is no way on God’s green earth she would be okay with me going on a date. Even if I’m twenty-three years old. I know how ridiculous it sounds. Believe me, if I weren’t me, I would think it was crazy, but after everything we have been through, I’ve never wanted to disappoint her, or stress her out with the thought of me dating.

“What movie are you seeing?” My younger sister asks as she slides up to the counter, catching my lie. I should have known she would be watching me. Ava was only twelve years old when Paige went missing. Her attitude toward Mom’s straight rules and Dad’s inability to rein her in has never gone down well. Her emo, grunge look she’s currently sporting is a testament to her rebellious attitude.

“I’m not sure yet. Probably some chick flick.” I flash her my you-can’t-catch-me grin.

“Well, just make sure you’re back before midnight.” Mom looks up from the pot she’s stirring. She’s beautiful, even for fifty. In the last six years, she has aged a lot, but her beauty remains. Paige looked the most like her, her light brown hair and dark eyes striking enough to make you look twice. Even now, if I sit long enough, I can see Paige, catch a glimpse of her in my mother’s features. I wonder what it’s like for my mom to look in the mirror, or for Dad, who constantly looks at her, to see the daughter they lost, looking back at them.

“I’m not sure I’m going to make it home before then, Mom.” I keep my voice level, even though I’m freaking out on the inside. I don’t know why I just did that, but with all the lies I’ve been telling, I can’t keep up. I need to be honest.

“What do you mean you’re not sure?” I can hear the tremor in her voice, see the distress in her face, but I can’t let it deter me. I need to stay strong. Pushing it tonight, of all nights isn’t wise, especially with my date with Jesse on the line. I know she’s only going to worry, but I can’t stop hearing Lissy’s words in my head. I need to step up, step away from a past that is holding me back.

“I’m going to message you,” I say, picking up my keys ready to drop this on her and then escape.

“Isabella,” she calls me by my given name and I cringe. She only calls me Isabella when I go against her wishes.

“Mom—”

“No, Isabella. You know I will worry.” Her hands find the counter, bracing for support.

“Karen,” Dad speaks up, but I can see my mom’s panic starting to deepen.

“Don’t Karen me.” She looks up at my father, silently demanding he step in. I can hear it now.

Chris, don’t you dare make me out to be the bad guy. Say something.

I know I’m hurting her; even the thought of me not agreeing to a curfew has her panicked, but what she doesn’t understand is she’s hurting me. Keeping me prisoner in her fear, caged in her insecurities is only pushing me away. Everything she is trying to do, to keep me here, is only making me want to pull away.

“I’m going to be safe.” I tell her like every other time I leave the house.

“You know I worry, Bell.” She steps forward and takes me in her arms.

“I know, Mom, but I’m not sixteen. I’m not Paige.” I flinch when I say it but she needs to hear it. She needs to hear it from me.

“That’s not fair, Isabella.” She recoils like I’ve slapped her, and it’s almost like I have.

“I know, Mom. But do you think this is fair for me? For Ava?” I step out of her arms and prepare for an argument that is sure to follow. I wasn’t prepared for it, but now I’ve started, I want to get it all out. I want her to know it’s not okay to make me feel this way.

“I’m trying to protect you,” she whispers and the sorrow behind her words is tough to hear.

“From what? From life? ’Cause it’s what you’re stopping us from doing. You’re stopping us from living our lives.” Her intake of breath tells me I’ve delivered my blow, but a part of me wants to push even further. At what point is it too much? Am I meant to sit back and be okay when every year goes by and I lose a bigger part of myself? She’s not happy she lost one child; she’s forcing us to lose ourselves?

“Bell, you should go. You don’t want to be late.” Dad steps in before Mom can react. I nod and carefully retreat.

“I’m sorry,” I say, but the damage has been done. Dad gives me a wink and nods to the door, while still holding my mom. I turn and catch my sister’s eyes. She drops her brows like she doesn’t get me. I’ve never stood up to my parents, always going with the flow. Seeing me stand up would be strange for her.

“I’ll message you when I’m on my way home,” I tell the room, but no one responds. “I love you,” I whisper, picking up my coat.

“Be safe, sweetheart,” Dad says over Mom’s head.

“I will,” I promise, taking one last look at Mom before I turn and head for the door. I love my family more than anything. Even though I just pushed my mom, I won’t allow myself to feel guilty. I need to live my life even if there’s a risk. I’m doing everything I can to find Paige. If they knew my reason, they would understand.

“Bell.” Jesse stands from the booth in Fireside Bar and waves me over. He wanted to pick me up, but I shot him down very quickly, telling him I would meet him. He didn’t push, but I could tell he wasn’t happy. I thought I’d risk an annoyed Jesse over my mother having a fit.

Taking a steady breath, I navigate myself through the dance floor, pushing past sweaty bodies, and make my way to Jesse. Wiping my hands down my jeans, I pray that my racing heart settles. I don’t know why Jesse makes me so nervous, but I do know there’s something about his bad-boy attitude and happy demeanor that draws me to him. Thinking about it, it’s the way he doesn’t care how people perceive him, or the way he takes any situation and sees everything as a joke. Like he can see the funny side in everything. I wish I could see it like him.

“You made it.” A crooked smile forms and my pulse quickens. It’s the same look he gave me when he pushed his fingers inside of me last week.

Raw.

Wild.

Free.

He’s wearing his Rebels’ cut and a pair of dark-washed jeans, completing his signature look. So simple, but he looks good, too good.

“You think I would’ve stood you up?” I lose my jacket and slide into the booth seat.

“It was fifty-fifty.” He laughs before sliding in next to me. I wasn’t expecting him to follow me in to this side, and all of a sudden, I feel trapped.

“Well, I want to find my sister.”

“Yes, your sister.” He clears his throat, and turns his body back to the table. His change in demeanor confuses me for a second. Did he really expect me to forget about Paige?

“Did you find anything out?” I ask, wondering if this is all for nothing.

“Spoke to my brother. He was a detective on your sister’s case up until last year.”

“Detective Carter?” I ask, shocked for a second. Wow, I didn’t pick up on the connection until now.