“If I’m being honest, yeah I did.” She pushes her arms into her jacket.

“Well, now I’m shocked,” I tease.

“Well, you should be. You’re incorrigible, Jesse.” She shakes her head and picks up her purse.

“I can’t help it with a beautiful woman like you.” She rolls her eyes but I ignore it and follow her out to her car. I can tell when she fights her reaction to my lame jokes, as she calls them, and I find myself trying to make her react with each one.

“Can I get your number?” I ask when we slow our pace in front of a row of cars. We passed my bike a few spaces back, but I want to make sure she gets to her ride safely.

“Jesse, don’t.”

“I need to be able to contact you with any information,” I tell her, watching her start to freak out.

“Oh, okay.” She nods and shoots off her number for me to add. I send her a quick text for her to have mine and then pocket my phone.

“When Jackson gets the files, we can see where we need to go from there.” I step forward. She retreats slowly but doesn’t protest.

“I really appreciate everything, Jesse.” She swallows and I can tell having me so close affects her.

“I really want to kiss you, Bell.” The words fall from my mouth and I don’t even care. It’s true. I want to kiss her so fucking bad.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” she whispers, but I’ve never been one to give up so easily.

“I think it’s the best idea I’ve had all night,” I tell her, taking her face in my hands.

“Jesse,” she sighs, but I don’t let her get another word out. My mouth descends to hers, and after what feels like an eternity, I’m kissing her.

The kiss starts out slow, gentle with my uncertainty, her body frigid with her unease. When her hands move to my shoulders, I know she’s not going to push me away. My tongue skirts out, craving to taste her. She opens, slightly awkward in her movements, so I take charge of the kiss and own her fucking mouth.

“Open,” I order, my lips still pressed to hers. She obeys, opening and allowing my tongue the entrance it’s searching for. Her tongue carefully slides out, dancing gently against mine. It’s exactly how I expected her to kiss. Soft, gentle and unsure. Deepening the kiss, I hold her harder against me, her large soft breasts pressing against my chest. My cock strains in my jeans and I know she can feel it against her stomach. A low rumble erupts from my chest when her leg comes up wrapping around me. Molding to me. If I were with anyone else, outside standing in the dark and in an open parking lot, I’d have them against a car pounding into them, but I don’t, because this is Bell, sweet, innocent Bell. Running my hand up her leg, I wrap my fingers around her calf and release her from me. She sighs against my mouth, the sound going straight to my gut. Jesus, this needs to end now.

Slowing the kiss, I gently pull back and lean my forehead against hers.

“This can’t happen here, Bell.” I hate myself for saying it, and I might be a fucking idiot for stopping this, but I know in the heat of the moment, I could get her to submit and then after she would hate me.

“Oh, God.” She pulls back her hand covering her mouth. She looks disheveled, her eyes shining with arousal, and my mind moves to how she would look after I’ve thoroughly fucked her. Jesus, what I wouldn’t do to see that look, under me.

“Relax, it’s okay,” I try to reassure her but it doesn’t help.

“I have to go.” She spins and fumbles with her keys. I want to step in and try to calm her, tell her what just happened is okay. But I can’t do it because I can’t trust myself around her. I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before, and that alone is dangerous. I vowed a long time ago never to want anything or anyone. When you put yourself on the line and allow yourself to want something, you open yourself up to disappointments. My life is full of so much disappointment I couldn’t bear to have more thrown in my face. I need to stay away from Bell Johnson. She makes me want, but it just can’t happen.

ME: I had a good night

I send the text off the next morning to Bell as I walk into Liquid. My vow to stay away from Bell lasted less than twelve hours. Last night was a first for me, for a lot of things. I went on a date, one that didn’t end in sex, plus I slept without a nightmare.

I pocket my phone and continue about my day, getting the club restocked for one of the biggest nights of the week.

“Hey, Jesse, have you got a replacement for Sarah tonight?” Tammy asks, coming out of the office. Tammy likes to keep me in check.

“Not yet. Was hoping I could convince you to find me one.” I smile my cheeky smile at her, but I know it won’t work. Tammy is immune to my ways. I fucked her once, last year. And afterward felt like the biggest asshole in the world ‘cause she needed this job. She’s a single mother with a dead-beat ex. Nix, ripped me a new one after finding out and when things cooled down, I offered her a management position and since then, things have run a lot smoother.

“How this place runs is beyond me sometimes.” She shakes her head and turns back to the office to call in someone.

“Love you,” I call out, but she just gives me the finger. Yeah, she loves me. I laugh and go back to what I was doing. My phone beeps from my pocket and like a pansy-ass bitch, I reach for it hoping it’s Bell.

BELL: Jesse Carter, are you abusing my number?

Bell’s text lights up my screen and I can’t help but laugh.

ME: Guilty, but can you blame me?

I text back and wait patiently for a reply.

BELL: I don’t know about blame, but I could block.

Her reply has me laughing my ass off. Sexy and funny.

ME: Block me and I’ll have to start coming up to the hospital to talk to you.

I reply and now I’ve put it out there, I’m thinking it’s a good idea. I wait a few minutes and when I get no reply, I start to wonder if she thinks it’s too much, too soon. Leaving it be, I go about the rest of my morning with the idea to visit when I head into the burn unit later on this afternoon. I think if I can wear her down, I might be able to get her to cave.

I just have to be persistent.

“Hey there, Bell.” I push off the wall in front of the hospital elevators later that day.

“W-what are you doing here, Jesse?” Bell looks up, shocked to see me.

“Just finished up at the burn unit.” I nod to the wing where I spend one night a week holding a support group.

“Oh, right.” She shakes her head and I know she thought I was here for her. What she doesn’t know is I finished up an hour ago. I hung back waiting to see her.

“You finished for the night?” I ask, watching her gather herself. I like that she gets flustered around me. Probably too much.

“Yeah, just did a double.” She fumbles in her bag searching for something.

“Want to get something to eat?” I ask, watching her reaction and the little tells she gives.

“Umm,” she stumbles, vying for time to shut me down. I can see the way her eyes skirt all over my face, yet she can’t look me in the eye. She’s about to run, but I didn’t wait around for her to blow me off.

“I’m not taking no for an answer.” I take her arm in my hand and pull her to a stop.

“Text messages and stalking me at work. Should I be worried, Jesse?” She looks up at me, and the overwhelming urge to kiss her has me coming undone.

“Only if you say no,” I joke and watch her shake her head. “It’s just food, Bell.” I push, and I can see she wants to. See the need in her eyes when I reach for her. The way she holds herself around me. “Two friends, eating food,” I add. I don’t know what else to call what it is that is happening here, but friends seems like a good start.

“Okay, fine. Let me message my mom.” She gives in and I almost cringe when she says it. I feel like what we’re doing is wrong, when in fact it’s not.