Shaking my head clear of a part of my life I like to forget, I get my head back in the game and sort out what I have to in order to get back to the woman who’s waiting for me. Running into Bell has messed up my game plan tonight.

After dealing with the asshole, I make my way back down to the bar. Again, my eyes find the table where Bell sits. She’s back from the bathroom, her back to me, but even from behind, my cock stirs thinking about what I could do to her. Get your shit together, Jesse. One, she’s too young, and two, you don’t need hard work. You need easy. I continue to remind myself.

“Who’s the nerd?” Sarah, one of the club’s bartenders asks, coming to stand next to me.

“No one.” I brush Bell off as nothing and ignore the bad taste it leaves in my mouth. A woman like Bell is far from no one.

“You haven’t stopped looking at her.” She pushes and if I didn’t know Sarah liked women, I’d say she was jealous.

“I know her. Not that way, but I know her. It’s no big deal.”

“She’s not your normal type,” she continues, trying to piss me off.

“She has a pussy.” I try for my normal deflection and ignore her comment. If in doubt, always deflect.

“You know what I’m talking about.” She stops and watches me carefully, too carefully.

“No, I don’t. Jesus, Sarah. I swear you’re worse than a wife.” I throw a bar rag at her and move away.

“What would you know about a nagging wife?” She laughs and I decide to give up arguing with her. I’m not in the mood tonight. She’ll only keep pushing.

“I’m heading out. You got yourself covered for tonight?” I grab my keys from under the bar. I need to go back to the clubhouse and fuck Bell out of my head. How fucked up is that!

“Yeah, yeah, go,” she encourages, before stepping up to take another order.

“See you tomorrow,” I call, stepping back out from behind the bar and taking the hand of Candy, or is it Mandy? I don’t give a fuck and it won’t matter after tonight anyway. With one last look at Bell’s table, I make my way out to my bike. If only it was Bell I was putting on the back tonight. Regardless, I pull the blonde bitch behind me out to my bike.

“You have a bike?” Mandy/Candy asks and I hold back my eye roll—I don’t know why I do it to myself. These women are all the same. I can recite word for word what she’s about to say next, without even thinking about it.

“Oh, my God, I’ve never been on a bike before.” She bounces on her feet and I watch her tits bounce with her.

Yep, now, I remember why I pick up women like this.

“Baby, knowing you’re so excited over my bike makes me want to fuck you over the back.” I lean in and kiss her with everything I have. I don’t normally let bitches kiss me, but my head is still messed up over Nurse Bell. I’m desperate to get her out of my head.

“Do it,” she begs, her hands move to my belt. For a minute I think about taking her there, but knowing Bell is just inside still has me on edge. It takes everything in me not to dump the bitch that’s searching for my cock and go back inside to Bell.

Fuck, what is it with her?

A simple, innocent woman has me wanting to break all my rules. Every single one of them.

“There will be plenty of time for that, baby.” I step out of her reach and rearrange myself.

“Okay, but hurry, my pussy is dripping.” The bitch teases and it’s all it takes for my cock to come back to life and focus on the woman willing and waiting on my bike.

Now, if only my mind would follow through.

Four BELL

“Tell us, how well do you know Jesse Carter?” I am grilled as soon as I make my way back to the table.

“I already told you. He was in the hospital a couple of months back. That’s the last time I saw him.” I sit back down and take a breather. Thank God, he’s gone. I discreetly look around to see where he went but come up empty.

“He went upstairs, relax.” Kate points to the VIP section. I nod slightly not letting them know how affected I really am. I don’t know what it is about him, but having him in my presence messed with me tonight. I wasn’t sure why, but each time he comes crashing into my life, I’ve managed to keep myself under control. Could he be wearing me down?

“Did you really see his ass?” Manda leans forward ready for the scoop. I knew they wouldn’t drop this. Knowing them, they will never drop this.

“Gosh, I don’t remember.” The awkward moment when I walked in and saw the man’s ass flashes in front of my eyes.

“She’s lying. Look at her face. You’ve been holding out on us, Bell.” Lissy laughs but I don’t bite.

“He’s a player.” I let them know what I already know. Yeah, I’ve only had minimal conversations with the man, but I swear, I can tell.

“So, I’d let him play me. Any day.” Lissy’s eyes glaze over and I know she is imagining something that involves Jesse Carter.

“Oh, I know you would.” I know just how well Lissy likes to play. She’s not shy when it comes to men.

“He likes you.”

“Please, don’t,” I whisper, knowing where it’s leading. I wish I was ready for anything remotely like what she is implying, but I’m not.

“He does. Couldn’t keep his eyes off you.” She shrugs, stating the facts. I know I felt his stare burn into me, but I can’t read too much into it. I won’t allow it.

“Yes, Lissy, but show the man legs and he wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes off them; besides, he’s old. A lot older.”

“No, I think you’re wrong. He totally wants you, and he isn’t that old, Jesus. Older men are better lovers,” Manda adds, but I won’t let her words affect me. I can’t allow him affect me.

“I wonder what games he’s good at playing.” Lissy groans, and this time, I can’t fight my grin. Typical Lissy. I love my friends but they are all hopeless romantics. I’m the least romantic person ever. I don’t believe in love or fairytales with happily ever afters, and I don’t need a man to make me happy. Am I lonely? Sometimes, but having a man in my bed isn’t going to fill the void in my life. I know that. Especially men like Jesse Carter.

“Just quit it, guys. I’m not interested, you know this,” I say, cutting their daydreaming short.

“But why, Bell?” Kate pushes. “You should be a little bit interested. Just look at him.”

“You know why.” I shake my head, ignoring what she thinks I should and shouldn’t be doing. I’m so sick of hearing it. Why can’t people let it go?

“Because of Paige?” she asks and I can hear the sadness in the question.

“No,” I snap back the lie. I don’t do sympathy and I hate when they blame Paige for my lack of interest in men.

“You can’t wait forever for her,” Manda whispers and I know they are about to start back up again.

“Guys.”

“You do know how messed up this is? It’s your birthday and your family is at home mourning her. You have a man, a sexy-as-sin man come up to you and you just shut him down.” Lissy reminds me, spreading my sadness further down into my soul. Yep, that’s me in a nutshell.

“Lissy stop.”

“No, Bell. It’s not right. You’re important too. Don’t you see?” she keeps pressing, but it’s the last thing I need to hear tonight.

“It’s okay for you guys. You don’t have to live with it. You didn’t lose your sister. Your mother didn’t lose her child.” I drag a deep breath through my nose, hoping to calm my frustration.

“No, but thousands of people do, and there comes a time when moving on is the next step,” Manda adds and I know she’s right. It’s not like we are the only family in the world who are mourning a missing person, but until you live it, breathe it, you have no idea what it’s like.