CHAPTER FIVE

Sy

Could I be any more fucking stupid? Fucking her and then leaving her standing there naked and pissed. They both fall under the most-stupid-shit-I-did-last-night category. I was screwed when she came out of the bathroom and crashed into me. With her milky white hands coming to my arms, the look of them against my ink made me want her in that second. Her smart-ass mouth reminded me why she was bad news, but when that fucker walked up and smirked at me, I knew I had to do something. I fucked her because I didn’t want anyone else to. No, I cock blocked her, but then couldn’t keep my own dick in my pants. If I could beat my own ass, I would. I shouldn’t have left her standing there, but the panic in her eyes when she realized I didn’t use a condom had me itching to get out of there. What the fuck is wrong with me? This woman has me twisted inside out. Yet, I can’t seem to get enough.

Setting up my station for our first day back in Ink Me, I try to push all thoughts of Holly out of my head.

“You all right, boss?” Rue asks, coming to stand in front of me. Rue is one of Ink Me’s employees. Her dark purple hair, heavily pierced face, and sleeve-tattooed arms are a total fucking turn-on. But since I’m her boss, she’s off limits. Not to mention, since I met one pure-skinned, sexy blonde, I haven’t had eyes for anyone else. Fuck me.

“Yep,” I answer, not giving her my attention. I’m not in the mood for her, or anyone this morning.

“Sweet, you have a nine a.m. first up, and then back-to-back all day.” I nod in answer, knowing it’s easier to be an asshole from the start of the day. Spinning on my stool, I dismiss her and continue to set up my station. She gets the hint, leaving me alone so I can get lost in my head. I need to work. I need to clear my head from everything that happened last night.

Finished setting up, I move to the employee lounge, and make myself my second coffee of the morning. When I first came back to Rushford, I never thought I would go back to tattooing again. I left that part of me back in Brighton with the family I left behind, but I knew a part of me was missing. It was something I didn’t want to let go. When the club discussed another shop, I knew it was my chance to get that part of me back. The boys didn’t dig into my shit when I told them my idea, and if they were shocked to learn about my tattooing background, they didn’t say anything.

“Sy, there’s someone to see you,” Rue interrupts my thoughts of the past.

“Have them come through,” I tell her, finishing the rest of my coffee.

“Not your appointment. Someone else.”

Standing from my position, I make my way back out to the front of the shop and curse when I notice Holly sitting there. Fuck

“What are you doing here?” I bark out before I think. She flinches and then quickly hides it before standing and brushing her hands down her yellow dress. I follow the movement, holding myself together as I take her in. Fuck me. She calls me sunshine, but standing before me, she looks the picture of it today. The morning sun kisses the tops of her shoulders and her hair sits up on top of her head hiding its long length. Visions of her up against the wall, her rose-tipped nipples peeking out through the golden ends of her hair, flash in front of me as I remember just how perfect she is.

“Not that I want to be here, Sunshine, but we need to talk,” she says, walking toward me. Her calling me Sunshine stirs my gut more than it should.

“I’ve got nothing to say,” I tell her, feeling more like an asshole every time I give it to her. There’s something about this woman that fucking gets to me.

“Yeah, I gathered that, when you left me with your cum still rolling down my legs,” she snaps. I flinch but don’t say anything. “Seeing as you left—” She raises her brow, “—I had to come and speak to you.” She folds her arms across her chest, waiting for me to respond.

“Don’t know what we have to talk about? We fucked. That's it,” I say, annoyed she’s turning into a hang on.

“Fuck, you’re a piece of work. I thought you might like to know I’m clean,” she says, waiting for me to respond, but I don't. I'm more pissed that just seeing her again has my dick wanting more and my mouth watering at remembering her taste. Fuck, I should never have caved.

“And?” she asks, prompting me.

“And...” I reply, being a bigger asshole.

“Well, how about you?”

“I think I’m fine,” I tell her, shrugging like I don’t really give a fuck, but I know I’m clean. I don’t normally fuck without protection, so for me to even fuck her without a condom has my mind completely messed up.

“You really are something, you know that?” she huffs, pissed no doubt that I’m acting this way. If only she knew this way is better.

“Believe it, woman.”

“Oh, I believe it, and you better believe if you give me some fucked-up disease, I’ll let every asshole in this town know what a filthy, fucking small-cocked, douchebag you really are.” She ends on a shout right as my first customer walks in. I don’t say anything, so she turns and storms out of the shop without a backward glance.

“Shit, boss. That was totally a douchebag move,” Rue comments from the front desk, obviously listening in instead of greeting the customer.

“Don’t give a fuck,” I tell her and head back to my station.

“I hope for your sake you don’t give her anything. I wouldn’t put it past her to follow through on her threat,” she chuckles, turning to the customer. Fuck me. I knew she was gonna be trouble. I should go to her and explain everything; tell her just to leave me the fuck alone, but I don’t. She’s better off thinking I’m an ass. That way, she’ll stay away. I can’t tell her there are some wounds that can’t be mended, yet we carry them with us, hoping for a chance that maybe someday, someone can fix them.

I can’t be fixed.

***

“Yeah, I gathered that, asshole, when you left me with your cum still rolling down my legs.” I replay Holly’s words over and over in my head the next morning. After she left the shop yesterday, her words fucked with me all day. I fucked up when I took her against the wall. Even in my reasoning that one time would be enough to get my fill, I knew I was kidding myself. I crossed the line and now I’m dealing with it.

“Hey, brother.” Jesse knocks on my door, pulling me out of the pissed-off Holly rant running through my head. “Nix wants a meet, now,” he says.

“Yep,” I yell, rubbing my hands over my face. “Got it.” I grab my cut and force myself to stop thinking about the past and more importantly, Holly.

Closing the door to my small apartment, I make my way back up to the clubhouse.

I need to get my head clear and stop fucking thinking of her. What is it about this woman? Since I walked out of her house two nights ago, leaving her without a goodbye, I haven’t stopped thinking about her. It wasn’t my intention to fuck her. But the question in her eyes as she stood in front of me, asking what happened to me, made me snap. Her whole attitude when she speaks to me snaps something inside me. Maybe it’s the fact she’s the first woman who isn’t clingy, or hasn’t seen me as a conquest to fix. She looks at me as a challenge on a different level; not one for her to play, but one for her to conquer. I tried to stay away, tried to force myself not to be tempted by her, but now I’ve had a taste, I can’t seem to turn my need for her off.

“Don’t look so excited to see me,” Jesse says as I walk into church.

“Piss off,” I grunt, hitting him over the head. Jesse is the joker of the group. Sometimes, he’s a funny fucker—other times, he just pisses me off.

“What’s crawled up your ass?” he asks as I sit down around the oak wood table. “Let me guess: that hot chick you got working in the shop is giving you blue balls?” He laughs at his own joke. If fucking only.