There wouldn’t be enough alcohol and dancing in the world to dull that pain.

I lifted my head, scanning the all-too-familiar room, trying to see through his eyes. Light green walls, tan carpet, two windows, and my own bathroom. Big king-size bed with a yellow-and-blue comforter—my head was the only one that had ever touched those super comfortable pillows—and a huge armoire with a matching vanity on the other wall.

Not a lot of personality, but better than a cramped dorm room, at least according to Daddy. And I hadn’t moved out since, not even after graduating. It wasn’t home, or mine, but it was a house. The only thing in this room I wanted to claim ownership of was him, but he still hadn’t moved.

He just stood there, holding me on his shoulder, staring at my bedroom as if it were a war zone instead of the room where my bed lived.

“Jackson…please.”

My voice seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he’d been stuck in, for better or for worse. His hand tightened on my thigh, and he let out a breath. “Please what? Put you down? Take you? Leave?”

I shook my head at that last one, even though he couldn’t see me. “Take me.”

Without a word, he walked over to my bed and dumped me onto it. The second I hit the mattress, still bouncing slightly, he was on top of me, settling between my legs—not giving me time to wonder if he would follow through or not.

It was bliss. Pure bliss.

He lowered his face to mine, stopping just shy of kissing me. I held my breath, knowing everything was about to change. Everything. All because of him. “I’m done fighting. Done denying us something we both want. There’s no going back now.”

“I don’t want you to fight it.” I locked my legs around his waist, refusing to let go. If he left me now, I just might die. “I never asked you to.”

“I know, but I was trying to do the right thing.” He slid a hand under my butt, cupping me tightly. “Now, though, it’s time to be wrong.”

I moaned. I couldn’t help it.

“Christ, those sounds you make will kill me, Lilly.” He kissed the base of my throat, nipping the skin lightly. “Every sound you make drives me closer to the edge, and I’m already staring down into the abyss. Jerking off last night did nothing to ease the ache you left behind. I tried again this morning, when I heard you in the shower, knowing you were wet and naked only a few feet away. If I hadn’t, I would have walked right in there and taken you against the wall.” He grabbed my hand and pressed it against his erection. “But it did nothing to make this go away, damn it.”

Swallowing back another moan, I skimmed my hands down his hard length and took a deep breath. Learned the contours of his body by touch and smell. “Is it wrong that this makes me happy? Knowing you need me to fix this?”

He chuckled, and it was hands-down the most erotic laugh I’d ever heard. “Be happy about it all you want….” He bit my shoulder and pressed his erection against my palm. “But you’re gonna make up for it. You’re gonna do what I want tonight.”

I nodded, my breath catching in my throat. “Anything.”

“Oh, I love it when girls say that,” he teased, rubbing his nose against my throat. “Makes it so much more fun…”

Before I could reply with something snarky, or get jealous of those “girls” he mentioned, he kissed me, and his tongue touched mine. All thoughts of anything but him faded, and I reached for his erection again. This time he was the one who moaned, and he deepened the kiss, pressing closer, before catching my hand and stopping my soft caresses.

“I’m only asking you this once. Do you want to do this?” With a few deft moves, he was holding both of my hands trapped over my head with his left hand, while he undid my pants with his right. “Because if you don’t get up and walk away right now, I’m going to take you. I’m going to fuck you so hard, and so thoroughly, that you’ll never be able to look your fiancé in the eyes. Not even fifty years from now.”

My stomach tightened, and I shook my head, not bothering to correct him about Derek not being my fiancé. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“So be it.” He caressed the curve of my cheek gently. “For tonight, you do what I say. You answer to me. And I promise you’re going to like it. But if you come back to me later and regret this…I’m going to be pissed. I don’t do regrets. Life’s too short and way too much of a bitch.”

I nodded then shook my head, not sure how to answer. My mind was too fogged with want, and I was too distracted by the feel of being held captive by his unyielding hands. “I-I won’t.”

“Promise me.” He regarded me, his hand still on my cheek. “I know you don’t break promises.”

I swallowed and said, “I promise I won’t regret a single second I spend in your arms.”

At first he didn’t move. Something flashed across his expression—something I couldn’t read—and he ran his thumb over my lower lip. “Here we go, then.”

And his mouth was on mine again.

This time when he kissed me, it was different.

It was as if he’d been holding himself back. And now that he wasn’t…I might not survive the heat. Everywhere he touched, or kissed, or pressed against, was on fire, and the flames threatened to consume me. But I didn’t care.

“Don’t move. Stay right there,” he commanded.

He slid off me and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head from behind in that way that men always did without a shred of modesty or hesitance. Then again, why would he when he looked like that? I already knew most of the ink on his chest fairly well, but when he undid his pants and let them hit the floor, too, I forgot to breathe.

Like…literally. Forgot.

All he wore was a pair of gray boxer briefs that hugged him in all the right places, and I couldn’t look away from his long, hard length. As if that wasn’t distracting enough, he had tattoos on his thighs, too. There were a bunch of numbers and dates and initials. On one leg, he had a beautiful drawing of a cross, and a woman in robes crying at its feet. It went under the boxers, so I couldn’t see the whole image.

I couldn’t stop staring at it.

“Pants off.”

I blinked at him. “Huh?”

“I said”—he unzipped my jeans—“pants off.”

“You told me not to move earlier,” I replied, lifting my hips for him. My cheeks heated up the second my pants hit the floor. All I had on was a pair of skimpy black satin panties. At least they were sexy and not granny panties. I’d picked them out this morning to wear with him in mind, but I never expected he’d see them. “I didn’t know I was allowed now.”

Chuckling, he picked up my foot and rested it on his shoulder. Slowly, oh so slowly, he skimmed his fingers down the length of my calf, and up the backs of my thighs. I held my breath as he approached my core, but he stopped short, teasing me. Especially since I knew what those hands could do to me.

“Jackson. I need—”

He shook his head and kissed me, cutting me off. “Not yet, Lilly. It’s not that easy. If I have tonight to learn your body, I want to make sure I don’t miss a thing.”

“But—oh, my God.” I rolled my hips impatiently, groaning when he slid his hand under my thigh and caressed my butt through the satin, his fingers briefly touching my core. “Yes. Please.”

“So sweet. So soft.” He kissed my ankle. “So delicious.”

I nodded frantically. “Don’t you want to know if I taste that good everywhere? I’ve got a few suggestions on where you should begin your taste-test.”

The fact that I wasn’t even embarrassed that I said that?

Yeah. It showed how far gone I was.

He froze before laughing. “Christ, I love your sense of humor. If nothing else, I hope Preppy Prick appreciates that about you.” As soon as he said that, he stopped laughing. “Shit. I don’t want to think about that—about him—when you’re naked in my arms. Enough talking.”