That was how amazing she felt. It was like I died and went to heaven. Maybe I finally had. If this was heaven, I never wanted to walk on Earth again.
“Jackson.” She moaned, her fingers digging into my biceps, arching her hips higher. It made me plunge even deeper inside her, and my eyes rolled into the back of my head, because having her body wrapped all around me was too damn much. “Again. More.”
“No. We need to go slow.” I dropped my forehead on hers, breathing raggedly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” She buried her hands in my hair and tugged, that fire that had always captivated me sparking to life within her again. “Take me. Now.”
If that was what she wanted, I would give it to her. It was an alarming trend—me considering what she wanted. I’d never given a damn about anyone but my platoon before. Why now? Why her? “Wrap your legs around me,” I demanded, ignoring those questions. “And don’t let go.”
She did as told. I took a deep breath to calm my surging need to take everything she offered, and more, without caring whether she came again or not. I wouldn’t. She needed to come. At least once. Then, and only then, I would let go.
Then I would find my peace.
Not wasting a second, I slammed back inside her. She cried out, her back arching, and strained to get closer. “Yes. God, yes, Jackson. Harder.”
Gritting my teeth, I reached between our bodies and pressed my fingers to her clit, moving inside her with a steady rhythm. The second I touched her, she screamed and bucked beneath me, her body taking over. It was the hottest thing I ever saw.
Her eyes flew open, and she locked gazes with me as her pussy clamped down on me. Her orgasm was fast and hard, but she didn’t look away. That moment where I watched her come—the intimacy of that moment—did things to me.
Terrifying, real, powerful things.
I felt connected to her.
“Jackson,” she whispered, finally letting her lids drift down, resting a hand over my racing heart. “More. Give me more.”
She was insatiable. Hungry. Hot.
So was I.
That was it. I tried to grasp on to any tenuous hold I had on control, but no. I lost it. All I could think, and feel, was Lilly. How she made me feel. How good she felt, wrapped all around me. She consumed me. Rolling us both fully on the bed, I thrust into her all the way, cradling her hips as I did so.
She screamed out in pleasure, raking her nails down my chest before digging them into my ass. “Jackson.”
“Your virgin pussy is so goddamn tight,” I growled, reaching between us to press my hand against her clit while fucking her fast and hard. “So. Damn. Tight. So. Damn. Mine.”
She nodded frantically. “Yes, oh, my God, yes.”
When I slapped the side of her ass with my other hand, she came again instantly. I felt her orgasm all the way to the tattered remnants of my soul. Her body tightened and coiled, and her walls clamped down on me harder than ever before. I cried out her name, pumping my hips once, twice, bam. I was a goner.
Groaning, I collapsed on the bed beside her, not letting go of her as I rode the waves of the most intense orgasm I’d ever experienced in my whole goddamn life. I had a feeling I wouldn’t want to let go anytime soon, which was a bad thing. She’d done something to me tonight. Something I wasn’t sure I fully understood, or ever would.
And I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.
All I knew was that here, in Lilly’s arms, I felt at peace for the first time in…well, ever. The same peace and rightness I felt all those years ago by the pool, only amplified by a million. And it felt pretty damn amazing. “Holy shit.”
She let out a small laugh and buried her face in my chest. “Yeah. Same.”
“That was…” I curled my hand around her neck and tipped her face up to mine. “That was special. I hope you know that.”
She nodded, her expression solemn. “I do.”
“Why haven’t you…?” I leaned up and smoothed her hair out of her face, staring down at her. Her cheeks were flushed, and her hair was messy, and she had never been more beautiful than she was now, in her bed, inside my arms, naked. “Why haven’t you and Preppy Prick had sex before?”
She blew out a breath, her cheeks going even pinker. “Because he’s not my real fiancé. And…and…let’s just say I’m not his type.”
“How the hell is that possible?” I asked, scanning her naked, perfect body. “Look at you. Is he waiting to make sure you’re actually getting married? Or are you? Is that what you guys decided to do? Or is it because you’re trying to find a way out of it still?”
“No.” She scrunched her nose and glanced away. “He’s been with other…people.”
“But not—?” I broke off, comprehension hitting me like a brick to the head. “Oh. Wait. Do you mean that he’s gay?”
She nodded. “Yes. Well, I suppose he could be bisexual, but he’s never tried to initiate anything physical with me.”
So he was gay. And she might marry him, anyway. “You can’t marry him. No way. That’s your way out. Tell your dad he’s gay.”
She gasped. “I couldn’t—wouldn’t—do that to him. If he doesn’t want people to know, then I won’t be the one to take that from him.”
“Even if it could get you out of the contract? Set you free?”
She lifted her chin. “Even then. There’s got to be another way. One that doesn’t compromise my moral standards.”
“Do you realize what you’ll be stuck with, if you don’t find another way? It’ll never be a real relationship,” I said slowly, trying not to let my irritation at the idea of her marrying another guy come through in my voice.
“He doesn’t know I know. I caught him once. Worst-case scenario, we just have to maintain appearances for a couple of years, until everything works out with the merger, and then I can get out of it with a quiet divorce.” She said it so matter-of-factly, like she wasn’t talking about bartering herself for the sake of money.
“Lilly,” I said, trying to bite back my frustration. “You can’t be serious about this. No way. No how.”
“This really isn’t your concern,” she said, sitting up and hugging her knees to her chest. “It’s my life, not yours. If I decide there’s no escaping it and marry him, it’s on me. Not you. Me.”
I stared at her, unable to believe she actually believed this. No one could be that selfless. I called bullshit. “Are you serious? You actually want to…seriously?”
“Yes.” She folded her hands in front of her knees, clearly feeling uneasy. “The articles of incorporation are complicated. Shares in the company can only be given or sold to family members. So if Derek and I get married, he can buy the shares, which will give Hastings an influx of cash. Then Thornton Products will also be able to use our distribution network. It’s a way to save both companies without having to go through the courts and risk word getting out that they’re in trouble.”
After hopping off the bed, I stalked over to her bedroom trash can and tossed the condom inside it. I didn’t face her yet, though. “What was tonight to you?” I asked, glowering down at it blindly.
“What was it to you?” she shot back.
“A release. A way to scratch an itch, maybe.” I shrugged, still not looking at her because it had been so much more. If I was a cornier man, I’d call it destiny. “I don’t know. But you seem to have your whole life mapped out already, so I figured you knew what you wanted the second you kissed me last night.”
She fell silent. After a few moments, Lilly said, “I knew I wanted you. Wanted to be with you. And it was so amazing. But…”
When she didn’t finish that thought, I finally turned around again. She had crawled under the blankets, hiding her nudity from me. “Now what?”
She flinched. “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”
“Great.” I crossed my arms, not bothering with clothes. I didn’t have a problem with being naked. “I’m so happy to hear that.”