The back of my knees hit the bed and I reacted, my hands reaching out and gripping onto his waist to steady myself.

Optimus was the king of intimidation. He was as big and he was scary and he knew just how to use both of those traits to get what he wanted.

“Do you have any idea what kind of danger you’d be in by going out alone, without an escort?” he growled.

“I went out this morning without one.” I protested, but as soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were wrong. If things were as bad as they seemed, he wouldn’t let me leave without someone tailing me. I sighed. “Who was it?”

“Ham.”

Ham was a prospect, a very new prospect who’d only joined the club a month or so ago. Prospects got the low gutter jobs, the ones that no one else wanted and because they wanted their full patch so desperately, they did them—no questions asked or complaints. There wasn’t a set amount of time that you had to be a prospect, it was all about proving yourself and proving your loyalty to the club.

“Damn, that kid’s good. Like a fucking ninja,” I muttered. Being with the Brothers for the last few years I’d learned to tell when someone was following me. Just another of the lessons that you learn when you’re part of the club, but you know you aren’t going to have any use for when you leave.

“No other job.”

And there we were again.

“Why? You’ve barely even paid me any notice since Harmony left. What does it matter if I leave?” I challenged him and he hated it.

He turned me, controlling my movements and forced me to walk backward. The door slammed behind me and I was quickly forced against it, Optimus’ body pressed securely against mine. “Doesn’t mean I want you to fucking die. Do you understand the terms, danger and trouble, college girl? I’m not doing this shit for fun. I’m doing it to keep your sexy little ass safe.”

His light bristles tickled my neck as he skimmed it with his lips. Just with that one movement, I wanted to give in and he knew it. This was my Optimus. This was the man I got to see that no one else did. The man I’d fallen for. I badly wanted to let go and be with him after he’d spent the last week pushing me to the side. But negotiations had just begun and I wasn’t about to give up on something that I wanted and needed so badly.

“I’ll do some classes online, but there’s one I can’t. I have to be at class twice a week.” I bargained, breathing heavily and slipping my hand up under his shirt. I followed the light trail of hair up to his belly button, my hand spread wide, covering his tight, ripped stomach.

Optimus worked out—a lot. He used to fight quite a bit before his father died and he took over the club. Now he hardly ever gets in the ring.

He nipped at my throat. “You don’t leave the compound without a man. If one’s not available, you don’t go to class.”

I stretched my head to the side, prompting him to continue. His hands skimmed the waistband of my jeans, teasing me and forcing us even closer. “Okay, okay. Deal.”

He tasted my skin one last time with a soft kiss and then stepped back. “Good.” I was shocked by the sudden coldness and moved out of the way as he reached for the door handle. “And Chelsea, don’t forget who runs this club. I won’t be talked to like that by you, or any other club whore.”

He pulled the door closed. The bang sounded almost like a gunshot. It could have been with the way that his words sliced through my heart. It ached and I wanted to cry.

Optimus had always made me feel like something more. He’d made it clear that he wouldn’t be claiming me, but he’d never made me feel worthless either. I’d even heard him talk to others about how Harmony and I were more than just pussy, more than just a hole to fuck—that the men here loved us and genuinely cared about us.

I gripped my purse in my hand and threw it to the side. It hit the wall with a thump and I leaned back against the bedroom door again, sliding to the floor.

Maybe my time here was coming to an end.

When it came to Chelsea, I lost all self-control.

I’d spent the last week doing everything possible to keep my distance from her. I’d spent time at the strip club. I’d tried to entertain myself with Lou Lou—one of the other club whores. I’d even spent a couple nights with my own damn hand, hoping that anything and everything would take off the edge.

Fucking useless.

I was stuck on her.

And I had no idea what the hell I was going to do about it.

A couple days and Sugar would be here with Harlyn—my pride and joy, my baby girl. I wasn’t sure how Chelsea was going to react to that surprise, but I knew it wasn’t going to be good. I didn’t blame her. I’d never promised her anything and while we’d never had an exclusive relationship, it wasn’t unknown that I had feelings for her that went further than just sex. She was beautiful, funny, and all kinds of crazy, but I fucking loved it. She made me feel good, she made me smile. I could be me around her, I didn’t have to be ‘Optimus the Club President’ who not only had to worry about himself but every single person who was part of the MC.

I threw the door to my office open and it slammed back against the wall, much like I had just scolded Chelsea for doing.

“Having a bad day, Prez?”

I threw the door closed again before delivering a sharp glare to my Vice President, Blizzard.

“Get the hell out of my chair, motherfucker.”

He was reclined in my chair, his shit kickers propped up on the desk in front of him and his fingers laced behind his head like he didn’t have a care in the world. Blizzard was one of the most laid back guys I had ever met—the perfect man to be my VP.

He balanced me out.

People saw me as serious, scary and intense.

It was true. I was all those things. But I never used to be.

I had a hell that smoldered away inside me. It was just embers now. My fire, my light—that shit had been doused years ago. I’d lost my father, and the girl who I thought I would spend my life with both within a week. One, because I’d put my love for a woman before my club, and the other because once that fire was out, the embers that burned were only enough to fuel my revenge. There was nothing left for anyone else.

And if I was being honest, I was not sure there was even now.

I’d made mistakes back then, and it would be a dark day in hell before I repeated them.

I walked around and shoved Blizzard’s feet off my desk. They landed with a thud on the floor and he used the momentum to shift his body from my chair.

“So I’ll take that as a resounding yes?”

“Take a hike,” I muttered as I took my seat again.

“You actually cancel her college papers?” I clenched my fist and looked up. Blizzard was standing in the center of the room with his arms folded across his chest. He had an unusually stern expression on his face. I didn’t answer him, but he didn’t need me to. He had obviously heard it all. “Chel’s different, Op. You know that, I know that, all the boys fucking know that. She’s sexy as hell and smarter than your average club whore. What are you trying to do?”

I slammed my fist on the table, but Blizz didn’t even flinch. “I’m protecting her, just like I’m trying to do for all you other assholes here. We have the Mafia on our asses. Or does everyone keep forgetting that?”

“Protecting her or forcing her hand? You think if you force her to resit she’ll be around for just a little while longer.”

I ground my teeth together.

I wanted to get up and punch him in the face. But what he said was the truth. I kept telling myself I did it because I was protecting her—that not allowing her to leave the compound was in her best interests. But I knew … I knew as soon as she finished her papers that she’d be gone, finding a way to use her degree and I knew I wasn’t ready to let her go.