Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Pierce walk away. This is one of those forks where the path is easy. I’ve already made my choice. One man’s heart is mine. One man holds my happiness in his hands. Even if I’m worried about the other, this is where I belong.

I loosen my grip on Blake and grab my things off my desk. Without a word, I lead us through the maze of cubicles not oblivious to all the stares. I’m the wrong type of fish to be stuck in this fish bowl.

Just before we reach the elevator, his arm wraps around my waist, pulling me into a dark room. The door closes. The lock clicks. My back is against the wall, his breath against my ear.

“I can’t do this. I can’t stand knowing that you’re going to work every day side by side with a man who had what should have always been mine.”

“You left,” I remind him. “Just because you decided our life was over doesn’t mean mine stopped.”

“I hate him.”

“I know,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around him. “Were you with anyone else? While you were gone.” I don’t want to know. I need to.

“I didn’t touch another woman. I couldn’t because all I ever thought about was you. I left hoping that some day I would learn how to be with you.”

“You already know.”

His fingers deftly work the buttons of my blouse until the tops of my breasts are exposed. His hot mouth covers me as he unbuttons my pants and slips them down over my hips, falling at my ankles.

He places his hands under my thighs to free my legs. With one arm wrapped around me, he uses the other to free himself from his jeans.

I’ve heard that having sex in public heightens arousal ten-fold, and I was never a believer.

Now, I am.

A worshipper in the religion of it, actually.

Blake spins us around, carefully laying me back against a hard, cold surface. My legs are spread wide as he impales me over and over again. There’s no lovemaking, kissing or sweet words. Every time he penetrates, he’s reminding me who he is … who he owns. He damaged me for anyone else the first time we were together; it just took him coming back for me to realize it.

Some people try to tell me he’s no good, but what’s good for them might not be good for me. This is for him. No matter how much I tell him, this is how he solidifies his place.

If only he knew how he commands my heart.

How he hugs it.

He’s my anchor. Where he goes, I go. What he feels, I feel.

I lift my hands to his sweat-soaked t-shirt, yearning to feel something more as I lose all control. His hand covers my mouth. I bite down hard on his finger to muffle my screams. He’s not far behind, grunting as he explodes into me.

He tugs my arms, folding them around his waist. His heart pounds against my cheek as I work to calm my trembling body.

“There’s no one I want if I can’t have you.” His voice is horse, his breathing heavy.

“You have me, Blake. I don’t know what else I can do to prove that to you,” I say softly, tracing circles on his stomach.

“Don’t spend your days with him.”

“We talked about this.”

“That doesn’t mean I accept it.”

For a few minutes, we hold each other, climbing off the high. It’s only then I realize we’re in the same conference room where he walked in on me with Pierce. My life has come full-circle.

I rest my chin on his chest, looking up into his eyes. “We missed lunch.”

He smooths my hair and runs his thumbs under my eyes to help mask the after-effects of sex. “I’ll run and get you a sandwich since it’s my fault we didn’t make it out of the building.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll grab a bar from my desk.”

“The hell you will. You need to eat, Lila. Take care of yourself.”

“You’re pretty bossy for someone who just got his way.”

He kisses my forehead. “Maybe someday you’ll learn, Lemon Drop.”

IT HAS HAPPENED ONE other time. Four days before my high school graduation to be exact. I drove thirty minutes to another small town to buy a test where no one would know me. I’d stopped at our crumby little gas station—the type where you still have to go inside to ask for the key.

I remember my hands shaking so badly I almost didn’t get the package open before I peed my pants. I held it under me, praying to God that there would only be one line showing in five minutes.

As I held the test in my hand, I stared at the stained white walls processing what my future would hold if I didn’t get the result I was praying for. There would have been no college, at least not in the dorms. Derek would’ve had to make a choice between a life with me, and the life he had planned. I was pretty sure he would choose me, and maybe we would get married, and it would all work out. And then I thought about how I would tell my parents. That would’ve been the worst part.

And tonight as I look down at the test, the result is different than it was all those years ago.

A prayer didn’t save me this time. I bite down on my lower lip, trying to process it all. This time, it’s not the future that scares me, or making the phone call to my mother to let her know I’m taking life’s steps a little backwards. It’s telling someone he’s going to be a father.

Someone I’ve only known for less than a year. Someone who I’ve never discussed marriage or kids with. Someone who can’t even say I love you because he’s too afraid of losing me over it. Someone I’ve only been back together with for four weeks.

“Lila, are you still in here? I’m ready to get something to eat.”

I stand, straightening the skirt of my dress and open the door. Reece peers in. “Why are you crying?” she asks.

I hold the white plastic stick up. Her eyes widen as she comes closer. “Oh. My. God.”

“What am I going to do?” I ask, shifting back and forth on my heels.

She looks around to make sure no one else is inside. “Who’s is it?”

“It’s mine,” I say, visibly shaking.

“I know that, but whose baby is it?”

My lips tremble. I never thought the day would come when someone would have to ask me whose baby I’m carrying. “It has to be Blake’s. I used condoms with Pierce as far as I can remember, but Blake and I haven’t been.” I pause, glancing down at the two pink lines again. I keep thinking this is a dream I’ll wake up from, but it isn’t.

“Aren’t you on the pill?”

I shake my head. “I’ve been taking the shots instead. I did the math, and the last one expired a couple months ago.”

“You need to tell him. You can’t do this by yourself.”

“I’ll tell him tonight. I just don’t know how he’s going to take it,” I admit.

“He loves you.”

I shrug. I hope he does.

“Maybe you should take the rest of the day off and process this,” she suggests as the tears continue to roll down my cheeks.

She’s right. There’s no chance in hell my mind is going to be able to focus on anything else. “Can I get a rain check for lunch? I’m going to let Pierce know I’m leaving and try to catch the 1:00 train.”

“Of course, and you better call me if you need anything. I’d be more than happy to bring a pint of ice cream over.”

I tuck the test into a plastic bag and toss it in my purse. I have no idea what I’m going to do with it, but I’m not ready to let it go just yet.

She hugs me and waits while I wash my hands, passing me a paper towel. I wish I could rewind a few weeks and do things all over again, but this is one thing I’m just going to have to live with.

I walk quickly back to my desk, noticing I have twenty minutes until the next train leaves. Too blotchy from crying, I pick up the phone, hoping Pierce will answer.

He does on the third ring. “I was just about to call you.”

“Is there something I can help with?” I ask, throwing some work into my bag.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Why?”

“You sound as if you’ve been crying. If he hurt you, I’ll—”