“Good.” He glances toward me, and then rolls off the bed and heads to the bathroom without another word. When he shuts the door behind him, I take that as my cue. There’s not going to be any post sex cuddles. No bed sharing. This is what he meant by leaving our hearts out of it.

I slip off his bed and hurry to pick my clothes off the floor before making my way back to my bedroom. I thought I was okay with this, maybe I still am, but it’s not what I’m used to. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it again.

FAMILIAR SOUNDS COME FROM the kitchen. I groan, concluding that Blake’s never going to follow that rule. I pull my pillow over my ears, but when the blender starts pulsing, I give up and throw my robe on. This is getting ridiculous.

When I open my bedroom door, I spot Blake in only a pair of gray sweatpants, pouring a pink liquid from the blender. I smell strawberries and bananas—one of my favorite flavor combinations.

He spins around when he hears my bare feet on the hardwood. “Good morning.” He smiles. It’s hard to stay mad at him when he does that.

“Breaking the rules again?” I ask, leaning against the counter.

He shrugs. “I didn’t think they were still effective, after last night and all.”

“I don’t see how that changes anything.”

He drops the spoon on the stovetop and steps to me, caging me in with his arms. “It does.”

I swallow, doing everything I can to back away. It’s no use. “But you said . . .”

“I promised to fuck you today, remember? You need to eat first,” he interrupts, his perusing eyes seducing me.

Oh, God. I didn’t forget it, but after how things ended last night, I didn’t take it too seriously. I certainly didn’t think he wanted an early morning screw.

“Cat got your tongue?” he teases, smiling down at me. I want to kiss his perfect, full lips, but I’m not sure that’s allowed. This is all foreign to me.

“Why do I have to be up this early? We have all day.”

He cups my chin in his hand, tilting my head to give his mouth access to my neck. “I’m leaving town this afternoon, and I won’t be back until Monday,” he announces, nibbling on more of my delicate skin. “I need one more taste before I go.”

Resting my hands on his bare shoulders, I’m torn between rubbing them and using my leverage to push him away. In a way, this cheapens me. If I’m going to be at his beck and call, letting him fuck me when he needs his fix, what am I going to get from that? There’s no doubt he feels amazing, but what am I really doing?

“What if I don’t want to?” I ask, lightly pushing against him.

He stops, leaning back to get a better look at me. “Jesus, Lila, I’d never make you do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t make it sound that way.”

“Sorry,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m not a morning person so this is what you get when you wake me up.”

“Really?” He brushes his thumb against my cheek. “What if I feed you? I made smoothies.”

I love smoothies. “Can I have some of your eggs too?”

His head tilts. “Now, you’re pushing it.”

“I’m hungry. Someone made me work up quite an appetite last night.”

“I’ll think about it.”

I smirk, a new deck of cards falling in my hands. “What if I told you that I have nothing on under this robe?”

He growls, eyes darting to my exposed cleavage. Men can be so easy. “Nothing?”

“Nope.”

He reaches back, grabbing a glass of the smoothie concoction he made and handing it to me. I put the glass to my lips, swallowing down the delicious strawberry-banana drink. He watches me, zeroing in on my mouth. I decide to play with him, licking the cold liquid that lingers on my lips. “That’s good,” I murmur.

Blake presses his body against mine, pulling the glass from my hand. He kisses my chin, then finds my eyes again. “You’re right. That’s delicious.”

He lifts me up on the counter, standing between my spread legs. His hands brush against the inside of my thighs until his thumb makes contact with my clit. Breakfast is burning, but the need to be wrapped in each other is stronger than the need to save a few eggs.

It’s not long until my robe is open, and I’m completely exposed, crumbling in his arms again.

I toss and turn, unable to sleep with my first day of work looming over my head. It’s a test, one I will either pass or fail. It wouldn’t be so bad, but failure means being stuck at a place like Charlie’s for the rest of my life. That I can’t live with.

It’s been two days since Blake and I had sex in the kitchen. When he left soon after, there was no goodbye kiss.

And for the last two days, I’ve missed him, or maybe I’ve missed his hands on me. He said we had to leave our hearts out of this, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m really cut out for that. When I fall, I fall quickly. Love doesn’t come with a parachute; I learned that the hard way.

I quickly shower and blow-dry my hair. Since the rest of my things finally came, I have a whole wardrobe to choose from.

I dress, curl my hair, and carefully apply enough make-up to brighten my appearance but not look too overdone, and head out the door a good ninety minutes before my shift begins to catch the train. If I’m lucky, I’ll have time to grab a latte along the way. I’d kill for one to chase away that Monday feeling.

My body shakes from nerves while I wait for the train and then again while I ride. Feeling as if everything is going to reach a boiling point, I pull my cell phone out and call Mom.

“Hello,” she answers. Just hearing her voice makes everything ten times better.

“Hi, Mom, how are things on the farm?” I ask, noticing other passengers watching me. It’s crowded and being so close to all these strangers is making me claustrophobic.

“Things are good. Just putting up with your father being home during the day, but it will be spring before we know it. This is the best way to wake up, by the way.”

“I’m on my way to my new job, and my nerves are shot,” I confess, tapping my foot against the metal floor. The older woman sitting next to me narrows her eyes so I stop.

“You’re going to do great. Don’t forget how talented you are.” She always knows the right thing to say to calm me down.

“I needed to hear that.”

“I’ll remind you all day.”

I laugh, earning myself a few more stares. “I’ll be okay.”

“I saw Derek in town the other day.” She pauses, and then adds, “He looked really thin. I don’t think he’s taking good care of himself.”

I want to pretend that it doesn’t matter. Derek is the past, but you don’t spend six years with someone and drop every feeling you ever had for him in four months. “It’s probably the workouts.” That’s not what I want to think. I imagine him pining now that I’m gone. I want to be his one that got away.

“He asked about you, but I didn’t say much. I was in a hurry.”

“It’s none of his business anymore,” I answer. “Look, can we just talk about something else?”

I hear the buzzer on her oven go off. She bakes fresh bread every morning so it’s as familiar as my alarm clock. “Give me just a second. I need to grab that.”

“Oh no,” I stop her. “I need to get going anyway. I’ll talk to you later, Mom. Thank you for the pep talk.”

“Knock ’em dead or whatever it is they say.” Her smile travels through the phone line.

“I will.”

For the rest of the ride, I watch Chicago go by through the window. As strange as it sounds, it’s starting to feel more like a place I can call home. I’m surprised I’m even thinking that, but the snow-covered streets and chance to live my dream make it feel that way.

The train stops a couple blocks from my new office building. I walk out and look at my watch, realizing I have just enough time to grab a quick cup of coffee from the coffee shop at the corner. I wait in a long but fast-moving line, grabbing my latte and a blueberry muffin before making my way to Stanley Development. I take a long, deep breath and open the glass door to the expansive entry.