He brushed the hair off her forehead and pressed his lips to her heated skin. “You’re incredible.”

Her fingers floated over his stomach, dancing along his twitching abs. “Pretty incredible yourself. That was...intense.”

Sure was. “Didn’t hurt you, did I?”

She shook her head. “Told you I could take it. And, for the record, you still held back.”

Yep. “I don’t want to taint you with my kind of debauchery. Pun intended.”

She snorted. “You know I’m not a virgin, right?”

Um... “Are we talking about the same thing?” Because he really didn’t want to think about some other dude taking her in the ass.

Pushing up, she rested her chin on his chest and looked him in the eye. “I’ve never gone all the way, but not for lack of wanting.”

Well, shit. “Really?”

Quirking an eyebrow, she shoved at his side with a playful glint in her eyes. “What kind of girl do you think I am?”

He caught her hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing her palm. “I mean, I’m surprised you’d want to. And, if that’s the case, why haven’t you?”

Her eyes went soft and curled into him again. “Same reason I never let a guy go bare before—trust.”

Goddamn. He stared up at the ceiling, a confusing mix of selfish-asshole and the luckiest-son-of-a-bitch-on-the-planet humming through his conscience. She trusted him. She’d said as much and she’d proven it over and over again. Her faith in him was a gift he wasn’t worthy of to begin with and now she wanted to give him something more? He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

“No rush,” she whispered before she pressed a soft kiss to his chest. “I just wanted you to know.”

He nodded and disentangled from her carefully...humbly. He needed a second to breathe. To gather his thoughts and figure out what the hell he was doing.

Jenny’s fingers trailed along his back as he got up. “Where you going, handsome?”

“Washcloth.”

“Hurry back. I miss you already.”

He closed his eyes and the haunting darkness clouded in like poison. Could he really be this guy for her? Could he really love her like she deserved?

Or had he been kidding himself all along?

Chapter Twenty

Their hummer bumped along toward a village in the Kandahar Province with Carson behind the wheel. Troy sat shotgun and Sam and Ernie planted ass on either side of Brody in the back, their M4s at the ready. Behind them, the truck was loaded with building supplies. Not a lot this trip because they needed to show the Afghani villagers their intent first. They weren’t here to blow shit up.

“You know what I can’t wait for?” Troy said from up front. “A piece of tail that doesn’t feel like a sandpaper glove.”

Sam snorted. “Dude, I told you doing Nelson was gonna leave you with a rash.”

Thud! Brody’s fist connected with the center of his buddy’s chest. “Says the guy who’s been eyeballing the goat.”

Troy’s eyes went wide and he pointed a warning finger at Sam. “Better watch your back, bro. That shit’ll get you lynched around here.”

Ernie snorted. “Y’all are fucked up. I don’t even care if she’s a little rough around the edges. As long as she’s soft, ya know? Real.”

Carson, the only married dude in the bunch, sighed. “Don’t I know it.”

“You getting kitty crazy on us, man?” Brody elbowed his buddy and Ernie pushed back.

“Hell yeah, I am. You can’t tell me this shit ain’t getting old for you too. You’ve done this three times now.”

“Yep. It’s what I signed up for.”

Ernie made a wry sound. “Not me, man. I’m over it. I want kids and shit. An old lady. This life ain’t gonna get me that.”

Brody grinned. “Well, I’ll be damned, Martin. There is a heart in that scrawny chest of yours.”

Ernie rolled his eyes and Troy pointed to a woman on the side of the road ahead. She carried what looked like a bucket of water and the hair at the back of Brody’s neck stood on end.

She wasn’t supposed to be there.

His heart began to pound like a jackhammer in his chest because he’d been down this road before. Too many damn times. Just a few feet ahead on the right...

“Stop the truck!” he shouted at Carson and this time, the sergeant actually followed command. Brody climbed over Ernie and hopped out. “Hey!” he called to the woman, but she kept walking. Faster even, which wouldn’t do because the IED was right goddamn there. Waiting. “Stop!” he called again and she came to a stumbling halt, thank Christ.

He rushed forward, gun in hand, surveying his surroundings as he went. Maybe this once he could actually change things. Save Ernie and Troy and now this woman, whoever she was.

“Hey,” he said again, putting his hand on her shoulder. She went stock still, her back straightening like an arrow. “I don’t know if you can understand me, but I want to help you.”

She nodded slowly and the heavy fabric of her chador lifted a bit from her face and, one glimpse at her profile, sucked the air from his lungs. That hair. Those eyes. That pale, pink skin...

“Jenny? What the hell are you doing here?” He grabbed her by the shoulders and jerked her around to face him. Tears shined in her dark brown eyes.

“You brought me here, Brody. You told me I’d be safe. That you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I won’t.” He lifted a hand to smooth her hair from her cheek, but she stepped away.

“You will,” she whispered, then she pressed her fingers to her mouth and blew him a kiss.

“Jenny!” he called after her, but she kept walking backwards, inching closer and closer to that rundown shack. “Baby!” he screamed, still she kept going. Didn’t stop until—

“Brody!”

His entire body shook as the IED exploded. He didn’t see it go...didn’t see it take Jenny with it because he’d closed his eyes the second he realized he couldn’t save her. That he’d brought her demise on himself and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it.

A strangled sob broke free in his chest and then gentle hands curled around his cheeks. Soft lips brushed against his and warm thumbs wiped the tears from his face.

“Shh, baby. I’m right here. I’m fine.” She kissed him again and he felt her heat like a comfortable blanket. Not at all like the searing fire that had clamped onto his leg in reality, just over a year ago.

He jolted awake and her face above him was as clear as it had been in his dream. The tears were there too. The fear.

And, just like that, he knew what he needed to do.

“See.” She tried for a reassuring smile, but her lips trembled too much to pull it off. “You were dreaming. I’m fine.”

He nodded and brushed her hand away to take care of his own fucking tears. Goddamn, had he really cried in front of her? Fucking unreal.

His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest and he levered up and swung his legs over the side of her bed. The clock beside the bed read five a.m.

“You okay?” Her hands and mouth were soft on his back, caressing and kissing him with more tenderness than he was equipped to deal with.

“Fine,” he said, clearing his throat and rubbing a hand back over his hair.

The truth was, he fucking needed her. She gave him something to look forward to when everything seemed like complete and utter shit. But she was the light to his darkness, and if he didn’t let her go, he’d suck every bit of life from her too generous soul. He’d destroy her.

He didn’t want to go at this without her, but he couldn’t do it with her either and, if he knew her at all, she’d go down swinging.

Not at him, but for him.

***

“Look, I know we talked about me staying until dinner, but I think I’m gonna head home instead. I’ve gotta be in Oklahoma again next week and I’ve got a lot of shit to take care of before I go.”

“Oh, okay.” Not okay at all. He was freaking out. Running. Not to mention, he’d tossed and turned all night. He’d be a walking zombie. “Is there something I can do? I mean, maybe I can come do laundry or—”