“Where did you come up with this crazy theory?” Jake asked, and he pulled her toward him and kissed her roughly.

She pushed him away. “Watch that sauce, or it will burn,” she said. “Everyone knows that guys can just suddenly turn their green light on, and when they do, they’re married within a year.”

“You reckon?” I asked.

“That didn’t happen with you and me,” Jake said with a confused look on his face. “I mean I wasn’t green light until you came along.”

“Yeah, but I’m special—the exception that proves the rule. Or something. All I’m saying is that I think if Ash wants to marry Richard, they’ll be engaged by the end of the year.”

My gut twisted at the thought of more change being thrust upon me, of Ash being engaged. I’d been focused on how marrying Emma would shift things, but if Ash married Richard . . . What would that do to our routine, our Sunday night dinners? Would I still be able to hang out with her? Invite her to work events? My head started to spin.

I wasn’t sure if Jake and Richard being ready to commit so quickly meant that I was just different, or if it meant I just wasn’t with the right woman. Haven was, for sure, the right woman for Jake, and Ash? Was she the right woman for Richard? Was Richard the right guy for her?

“You never know. He might propose this weekend,” Haven said.

“What? That will never happen. He’s barely known her three months,” I said.

Jake nodded. “She might be right. When you know, you know. Took me less time than that to know I was going to marry Haven.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Does she like him enough to marry him? I didn’t get that vibe from her.”

Haven didn’t respond and just shoved some apples and a vegetable peeler in front of me.

I picked up an apple and started peeling. “I’m not sure they fit together, you know?” In my head, I’d always seen Haven married someday, but I’d never thought that would be for Ash. I’d always seen her as . . . belonging to me, somehow. Like we were a pair. Not that there’d ever been anything romantic between us, it was just . . . I knew that she was special to me, and me to her. We had a bond.

“I don’t want her to end up married to some loser. It’s bad enough having to put up with this one.” I cocked my head at Jake and he grinned.

I tried to remember what Richard was like, but it really had been a fleeting introduction. I hadn’t seen any kind of massive spark between them, but maybe that was wishful thinking on my part. I suppose he could be seen as handsome, and he would be able to look after her financially. He was a doctor. “I guess on paper he’s a catch—”

“You might be married to Emma by the end of the year,” Haven said.

“No way,” Jake said before I had a chance to respond. Haven playfully swiped him on the arm. “What?” he asked her, and she shot him a look.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?” she asked.

Although I’d tried to put Emma’s ultimatum at the back of my brain, I’d thought about little else. At first I’d been convinced she was bluffing, and that she’d calm down in a couple of days and things would go back to normal. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen. The problem was we wanted different things. The more time that went on, the clearer it was I didn’t want to marry her.

“Nope.” All I saw was a lose/lose situation ahead of me.

“Hey,” I called as I let myself back into our flat after dinner.

“Hi,” she replied. That was progress. At least she was speaking to me tonight.

“Haven and Jake asked after you,” I said as I joined her in the living room.

“Right.”

“Emma—”

“Don’t ‘Emma’ me, like I’m being some unreasonable shrew. I’ve done nothing but love you. I just want you to decide whether you see a future with me.”

I slumped onto the sofa. I loved this couch. I’d had it since university, bought it when I shared a house in my sophomore year. Emma had tried to convince me to throw it out when we moved in together, but I’d bargained with her and given in to her choice of location on the condition I got to keep it. I smoothed my hand down the soft brown leather of the arm and took the comfort it offered. There was no point in replying. I didn’t have anything to say, it was clear there was no talking her round. Things weren’t going to go back to how they were, so she was right. I needed to decide whether or not I wanted to get married, have a family, do all those things that normal people did.

“If we split up, I’m keeping this flat. I’ll buy you out,” she said.

She’d clearly been thinking about this. Making plans. Jesus, I couldn’t keep up. “You agreed to give me some time to think it over. It’s a big decision.”

Emma sighed and got up off the chair opposite me, taking her book with her, and headed toward our bedroom. “The thing is it shouldn’t be.”

It was early, but bed seemed like a good place to be. I needed some space to think. Would Ash feel like this when Richard proposed? Would she have doubts? I knew Haven and Jake never questioned their future together. They knew that it was right, and Jake worshipped my sister. But not every couple was like that, were they? The fact that Richard hadn’t been to Sunday night dinner suggested that Ash wasn’t as serious about him as Haven had been about Jake. But maybe if he proposed, she’d get more serious? I closed my eyes. I should have been concentrating on Emma and me, not thinking about Ash and Richard.

Should I take Jake’s advice and wait for the right girl? Was I the sort of man who found the right girl? I wasn’t sure. Emma was right; we’d been together long enough to understand our feelings for each other. And although I loved her, when it came down to it, if I was being true to myself, I didn’t want to marry her. As much as I tried to imagine being married to Emma, it was easier to imagine us not together anymore, not in each other’s lives. That feeling wasn’t as uncomfortable. My mind drifted back to Ash. The thought of her not in my world because she’d built a life with Richard was . . . Well, it was unthinkable. Just the possibility made my temperature rise and my palms sweat.

I’d missed Ash this evening. It was never the same without her. Surely she would be back this evening from her weekend away? I pulled out my phone to message her.

Luke: Hey. Missed you at dinner tonight.

I scrolled through a few work emails, wondering if she’d message me back.

Ash: Good to know I’m missed.

I grinned at the screen. Of course she was missed.

Luke: Did you check your schedule? Can you make the awards dinner?

I was looking forward to that evening now I’d invited her. I hoped she wasn’t working.

Ash: Yeah, I can make it. Richard’s out that night too.

When had Richard being out become a factor in Ash’s decision making? Maybe Haven was right and they were serious. My fingers hovered over the dial button. I wanted to call and ask her what was going on, whether she was going to marry him. I mean, I was like a brother to her. I had a right to know, didn’t I? But it wasn’t just protectiveness I felt.

It was jealousy.

Of Richard.

Ashleigh

“It’s been amazing, hasn’t it?” Richard said as he kissed me softly on the lips. We were putting our bags in the car, ready for the journey home from the Lake District.

I nodded. The weekend had been lovely, but not amazing. Richard had been kind, thoughtful and attentive as always. I had nothing to complain about. But I hadn’t laughed as much as I normally did, hadn’t been silly or . . . I just hadn’t felt quite like myself.

“I always forget how beautiful it is up here,” I said as I turned away from the car, back toward the view of the lake below me. The mountains jaggedly cut though the blue sky, and I took a deep breath full of mountain air. Before my parents moved to Hong Kong, we used to visit the Lake District quite regularly. Haven and Luke joined us once, before their parents died. Even when it rained, which was most of the time, it was incredible, magical and such a contrast to London. “Thank you for bringing me back.”