“Realized?” I asked.

He brushed the hair from my neck and bent to kiss it. “Yeah, that I wanted to kiss you.”

It wasn’t much of an explanation, but my brain was foggy with confusion and lust and tequila. My body bowed toward his as if I were under his total control. He trailed kisses down my collarbone. Did I need to know everything, right at this second? As if answering my question, his mouth met mine again, his tongue running along the seam of my lips. Did he feel what I was feeling? I reached for him. Completed our connection. I never wanted to let him go.

My hands roamed across his chest. I’d always imagined what it would feel like, but he was harder than I had expected, more defined. He shifted underneath me and groaned. I stilled for a moment, wondering briefly if I shouldn’t be touching him. “Don’t stop,” he whispered, and he moved me off his lap and pushed me down on the sofa, crawling over me.

He kneed my legs apart and looked at me before diving for my mouth again. I could feel him properly now. He was hard against my thigh. He wanted me. In a way I never thought he would, he wanted me. This had been building in me for fifteen years, but somehow it had all happened so fast. It was nothing I’d expected.

“Jesus, you taste so good, Ash. How did I not know you tasted like this?” he asked, pressing kisses between my breasts.

My skin heated everywhere he touched. His words, his fingers, his lips—they all conspired to pull me under. It felt so good—almost too good.

“Luke,” I said softly. He didn’t seem to hear me. “Luke,” I repeated. I put my hands on either side of his face.

He looked at me, his eyes burning.

“What are we doing?” I asked.

He dropped a kiss on my lips then moved to my side. With his leg slung over mine, he propped his head up on his hand. “You don’t want this?” he asked as he trailed his hand up and down my body.

“Yes, of course, but . . .”

“But you wonder what happens next: Will we still be friends? What will Haven say? Will it be good?”

I smiled at him. “Yeah. That’s pretty much it.”

He nodded. “That’s all I’ve been thinking about all night. Well, in between wondering how you’d taste, what it would feel like to be buried in you and what you look like when you come.”

“Luke,” I said, embarrassed.

“I can’t help it. It’s like someone’s opened a door, and I’ve stepped through to this different world. There’s no going back.”

I placed my hand on my chest to try to calm my heart. “Do you think we should slow down?” I asked. We were moving quickly, and soon we would be at a point where things would change forever.

“Whatever you want. I don’t want to push you into anything. My heart and my groin are saying one thing, but maybe my brain is in synch with yours.”

“I’m pretty sure our groins are in agreement, too,” I said with a laugh.

Luke grinned at me. “You have the most fantastic smile. I’ve always thought so.”

“Let’s make a promise that whatever happens tonight, we make sure we’re always family.”

“That’s non-negotiable as far as I’m concerned,” he said with that sexy grin that had made my insides melt since forever.

“Then kiss me.” I was giving him, and myself, permission to cross the line of no return.

I could tell by the way he looked at me that he knew what I was saying. He searched my face, maybe to find a trace of doubt, but I knew there wasn’t any. He stood and held out his hand to me. The nerves in my stomach danced as I took it. He led me down the corridor to my bedroom.

What if it wasn’t good? What if he had some weird kink I couldn’t get into? What happened if my body didn’t respond to him the way my mind did?

“Are you nervous?” he asked as we stepped inside my bedroom.

“A little,” I replied, breathlessly.

He swept a hand down my back then pulled me toward him. “Me too,” he said. I’d never known Luke to be nervous about anything. Could he be nervous about being with me?

Our bodies were pressed against each other. I reached for the buttons of his shirt, methodically undoing the first, the second. I steadied my breathing then tackled the third. I trailed my finger down his exposed skin, eliciting a sharp intake of breath. I loved that I could do that to him.

He trailed his fingers round my neck and pushed the shoulders of my dress off. The fabric was loose, and as I put my arms to my sides, it just slipped off my body and pooled at my feet. I watched Luke, his eyes growing wider as they flitted across my body. He looked away and took a breath.

“You’re so beautiful. I don’t know where to start.” He brushed my cheek with his knuckle. I finished unbuttoning his shirt. He was straining through his pants. I was desperate to get to what was next. Before I started on his zipper, I palmed him through the tight fabric and he groaned, his hands going to my shoulders.

“Jesus, Ash. I . . .” He moved me toward the bed and pushed me gently back. “Lie down. I want to taste you while I get a grip on myself.”

I lay back on the bed, lifting my bottom to allow him to remove my underwear. He knelt by the bed and held my thighs wide. There was no room for self-consciousness. He knew me better than anyone in my life other than Haven. Him seeing me like this felt totally right.

His tongue seemed to know my body even better than his mind did, and as it circled my clitoris, I was lost. I arched off the bed, and Luke slid his hands under my ass and pulled me toward him, intensifying the pressure, the pleasure. I cried out his name, a prayer; I had no idea. I had lost control over my mind, body and heart.

Luke

Watching her body shudder with the aftershocks of the orgasm I’d just given her made me feel like a fucking god. She was so perfect. Perfect for me. I’d been an idiot, not seeing it all these years. I think I’d always known, but there had been some kind of invisible barrier keeping me away.

I stood over her, as she recovered from her first orgasm of the evening. I couldn’t wait to get her to the next one. I quickly undressed, my hard-on verging on painful, soothed only by the thought of being inside her.

“Fuck,” I said, suddenly remembering I didn’t have any condoms.

Ash snapped her head up to look at me.

“I didn’t bring any condoms. Do you have any?” I asked.

She shook her head. I collapsed on my back on the bed. This couldn’t be happening. It was a promise I’d made to myself when I was seventeen that I would never have sex without protection. It was one of the last pieces of advice my father had given me before he’d died. He’d told me that I needed to do everything I could to prevent my girlfriend from getting pregnant—or worse. It was good advice that I’d followed with no exceptions. Not even with Emma.

We lay next to each other. Would not using anything with Ash be the wrong thing to do? If Ash got pregnant, how would I react? Panic didn’t sweep over me like it did when Emma talked about marriage and children, but maybe it was lust keeping those feelings at bay.

“I’ve never . . .” she said. “I’m on the pill.”

It was all the encouragement I needed. “I’ve never, not once. Not with anyone. I’m safe. Are you sure?”

She smiled and nodded. I moved my body over hers and bent to kiss her, slowly, patiently, my tongue exploring her mouth. Her hands gripped my ass and her nails sank into my flesh.

“Jesus, I need to be inside you.”

She opened her legs in response, inviting me in. I positioned myself at her entrance, desperate to feel her around me, but at the same time I wanted this delicious torture to go on forever. She thrust her hips forward.

“Patience,” I teased her.

“Oh, I think I’ve been patient long enough,” she said.