“I don’t know. I just have to go.”

“Suit yourself. Go meet with new, fun, interesting, childless people. I don’t care.” Haven’s tone was melodramatic, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I can go tomorrow night. How about that?” As I was saying the words, I realized that it obviously meant that I couldn’t see Luke if I was out with Haven, and although I didn’t want us to be too much too soon, I wasn’t sure how I would handle a whole day without seeing him.

“Okay, I’ll rebook. Jake might make tomorrow. Shall I ask Luke and Beth?”

“I don’t mind.” I tried to sound casual, but I was conflicted. I would get to see Luke, but Beth was one of the most perceptive people I knew. I wasn’t sure Luke and I wouldn’t give away where we were in our relationship. I was having a hard enough time hiding it at work.

“But you’re okay with Luke? It seemed fine yesterday. He was less grumpy than he’s been in a while.” I could tell she was about to ask for a status update about whether or not I was ready to pursue things with Luke, which I didn’t want to get into. Still, I couldn’t help but grin at the thought she’d noticed his mood had improved yesterday.

“Yeah, everything’s good. Invite him. Seeing him and Beth is always great.”

“We haven’t talked about it for a while. He seems to be over the Emma thing. You know, what with participating in the triathlon and things. Do you think that maybe you’re ready to explore things with him?”

Apparently, Haven wasn’t easily dissuaded from asking me difficult questions. I thought I’d gotten away with it. I should have known better. It would have been the perfect moment to tell her that I was more than ready. But my need to be on more solid ground with Luke stopped me. I just didn’t want to create expectations in anyone, myself included. I needed time. “Haven.”

“Okay, I’ll invite them then. Are you expecting to hear about whether or not you got in to business school today? Maybe they’ll announce it at the mixer. Oh my God, that’s why you’re invited. They’re going to tell you that you got in. This is so exciting. Tomorrow can be a celebration. Oh, this is amazing—”

“I’m going to have to get back to work, Haven.” Her excitement, her every word, increased my guilt. I was lying to my best friend about what I was doing tonight—about Luke and me. I never lied to Haven. She was my family. I just couldn’t tell her, not yet.

Luke

I wiped my palms on my trousers. I was actually nervous. Nervous to go to dinner with a woman I’d known my whole life, and had now seen naked on numerous occasions. It was ridiculous. But I wanted tonight to go well. She wanted to date, and I wanted to do whatever made her happy. She needed to be sure of my feelings. I suspected she thought that part of what brought us together was the sex. And she wasn’t wrong. She was the best sex I’d ever had. Every curve of her body, flick of her hips, drag of her tongue drove me crazy, and the way her words were a little dirty and her sounds a little filthy made me want to keep her naked for the rest of our lives. But it wasn’t just about the physical stuff, and I hoped that dating would help her see that. I wanted Ashleigh Franklin, the whole woman. The woman who made me laugh, who I could talk with for hours, and the woman who made me want to kill any man who had come before me. I even wanted the part of her that cared so much what my sister thought, but wanted me anyway.

I wanted all of her, forever.

One of her neighbors let me into her building. I rapped on the door, clutching flowers in my other hand. She opened the door with a smile, and instantly, I relaxed. That mouth of hers had magical powers in so many ways. Just looking at it soothed me. I had nothing to be nervous about. It was just Ashleigh, the girl I’d grown up with, the woman I couldn’t be without.

“Hey, handsome,” she said. “You’re right on time.”

This was our first official date, so there was no way I was going to be late.

“And you look super smart. You said casual, right?” She gestured for me to follow her inside. I did as she asked, handing her the flowers before she turned around. Should I have tried to kiss her? I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was tonight.

“These are beautiful. You shouldn’t have. I have those gorgeous peonies that you sent earlier, and the flowers from yesterday.”

Maybe flowers three times in three days was too much, but I wanted her to know how special she was. I’d never bought things for girls before, so I’d struggled to think what would be appropriate. I’d bought Christmas and birthday gifts for Emma, but she’d always told me what she wanted and I just went and got it. With Ashleigh, I’d bought her flowers because I liked the thought of her smile when she got them. “I wanted to. These don’t smell as good as you, either, but they look nice enough. You, on the other hand, look stunning.”

“How can you say ‘nice enough’? They’re beautiful. You really shouldn’t have.”

I wondered if she couldn’t take compliments in general, or whether it was that she just ignored the ones that came from me. She’d have to get used to it.

I followed her into her kitchen, where she unwrapped the lilies and set about cutting off the ends and arranging them in a vase. I stood in the doorway watching her as she decided which flowers to place where in her arrangement. She did a double take when she caught me.

“What?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Nothing. I just like looking at you.” Every movement she made was so graceful, so unconsciously sexy.

She smiled shyly and tilted her head to one side. The air crackled around us, and she wet her lips. Jesus, just that simple act had my cock’s attention. I wanted to know what that glossy mouth would look like wrapped around my dick. I shifted, trying to get myself under control.

I cleared my throat. “I think we should go.”

Ashleigh’s smile turned wicked, but she nodded. I moved into the hallway to wait and to tell my cock to stand down. She appeared a minute later, and we headed into the freezing cold, bundling ourselves into a cab as soon as we found one.

“This is a mid-week date, right? So, I’ve not planned anything fancy. Just dinner.”

“I’m not expecting fancy. I just want to spend some time with you fully clothed and in public. I just don’t want to skip the good bit and go straight to me moaning about you leaving the toilet seat up, or cleaning the car on a Sunday. Does that make sense?”

I nodded. Any time I got to spend with her, no matter what we were doing, was all good with me. And the sooner we could tell Haven and Jake the better. Then we could be open about being together. Perhaps by the end of the evening I would have convinced her that we were ready to tell the world.

I laced my fingers through hers and squeezed. “It makes perfect sense. We never have to skip to that part, though. I know that’s what it was like with Emma and me, but Haven and Jake aren’t like that, and we don’t have to be either. We can always do the fun stuff. I want to always do the fun stuff with you.”

“Okay then. And we’re not going to Chiltern Firehouse, are we?”

“We’re not. You don’t like it there? Just so I know for future fun stuff.”

She glanced down at the pavement. “I just . . . I don’t like that it’s where you took Fiona. I know I told you that you should date and everything, but it doesn’t mean that . . .”

Was I an idiot for not going to Ashleigh sooner to tell her I was ready? “I’m sorry. It wasn’t serious, and we didn’t get naked. I guess I was just—”

“You have nothing to apologize for. Seriously.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’d quite happily murder Richard.”

She laughed. It was one of my favorite sounds. Only topped by the breathy noises she made when she had my dick in her or my tongue on her. I swept my thumb across her wrist and caught her shiver in response.