"You're going back to your office?" She takes a cautious sip of the coffee before her tongue darts out onto her bottom lip. "This is almost cold, Tess. When did you buy it?"
I glance at the pearl encrusted watch on my wrist that Ivy gave to me. It's near six now which means that soon Lilly will take the subway back to her place so she can cuddle her daughter before she spends the evening with her husband.
I want to stall her so I can find the courage to ask her to help me. My father's crimes aren't nearly as severe and life changing as those of her father, but she'll be one of the only people who can sympathize with the dull ache that I feel inside.
I want to believe that Landon will too but it's not that simple anymore. His father knew enough about my dad's sins to land him in jail. At least I think he's in jail. I've built such a tightly woven cocoon around myself today that I haven't looked online, glanced at a television or read any of the headlines on the newspapers at the bodegas I passed.
"Tess?" Her voice is softer now. "Tell me what's wrong."
My bottom lip quivers slightly. I pull my fingers across it to quiet it. I don't want to cry. If I cry I don't know that I'll be able to stop. "Do you need to go home soon?"
Her brow furrows as a piece of her hair falls against her cheek. She pushes it back almost instantly, tucking it behind her ear. "Something's not right. You're not yourself. Clive sounded off too. What is it?"
I've seen Lilly upset before. It happened twice. The first time was when the nanny called to say that Haven had a low grade fever. Lilly had rushed from the restaurant we were dining at and had been in a taxi on her way home within moments.
The second time was when we were at a deli grabbing a sandwich before we went to the Saturday matinee of a musical on Broadway. A woman waiting in line was brushed aside when an elderly man had pushed his way to the counter to order his lunch.
The woman had been harsh and unrelenting as she unleashed a verbal assault on the small, quiet man. His mind, obviously, wasn't as sound as it might have been a decade or two ago. Lilly stepped into the uneven fray and silenced the outraged woman with several well-chosen words about understanding and respect.
I was proud of her then. I've never told her that. We'd simply taken our sandwiches and ate them as we strolled down the street, neither saying a word about what had happened.
"You're scaring me, Tess." She's on her feet now, her hands wrung together in a knotted mess. "Clive was preoccupied on the phone when he called and you look like hell. What are you two trying to hide from me?"
Chapter 2
I can't speak for Clive Parker but I can certainly speak for myself.
"My father was arrested this morning," I spit the words out quickly and brazenly. "I saw it on the news. He was handcuffed."
Her hands both leap to her mouth in unison. The gesture does nothing to hide the shock in her eyes. "What? Arrested? Why? What did he do?"
She fires the questions at me so fast that I barely hear one before the next hits me.
"Things," I say before I exhale harshly. "It's all related to the job he used to have. He sold insurance. On the news they said he stole money. "
I look down as I take a deep breath. Telling Lilly that my father is a suspect in the case of a missing woman only gives weight to something I don't want to be true. My father may have done things with money that will land him in prison but I won't add my voice to those accusing him of actually hurting another person. I won't believe that until he tells me to my face that it's the truth.
"I didn't know," she pauses as her eyes scan my face slowly. "You and your dad are close. Did you..."
"No," I interrupt her before she can finish. I don't want to have the memory of my best friend accusing me of knowing that my dad is capable of doing horrible things. She may be trying to form it into an innocent question, but the implied inference is there. "I had no idea."
She takes a half step back, her hand reaching for the side of her desk. "You must be in shock, Tess. You said you saw it on the news. Have you talked to your dad since then?"
"I haven't." I pull myself to my feet. "I haven't talked to anyone. You're the first person I wanted to see."
I can tell the words touch her by the way her bottom lip quivers slightly. "I want to help. Tell me what I can do."
Lilly is capable of many things but turning back time isn't one of them. She also can't erase my father's past. "I don't know what to do. I have to go home and call my brother."
She nods her head slowly. "I can go with you. I'll call Clive and tell him that I'll be home late."
I stare at the smartphone on her desk. As much as I want her to go home with me, I need to do it alone. I want to sit in the still air in my apartment when I call my brother, and try to call my mother again.
I don't want Lilly to be across the room from me, pretending to be lost in a magazine when I call Landon to ask how any of this is possible. His father pulled my father down with him as the ship of his life was sinking. I refuse to believe that coincidence brought the two of us together.
"I'd rather you spend the night with your family." I rest my hand on my cheek. "I need to make some calls and figure out what my next step should be."
I see the hesitation in her expression even before she speaks. "I know what it's like, Tess. My dad was a bad person too. I can help you."
Her father raised a gun to the head of each of his children and his wife. He stole every person Lilly loved from her and by some small miracle she survived with just a faint scar on her neck. My father took money. He moved numbers around to satiate his greed. On a scale of evil, they don't come close but as I look into her eyes I see something I've been longing for all day. She understands.
It doesn't matter if my father's crimes impacted strangers or if Lilly's father's deeds changed the entire course of her life. She knows what I'm feeling and tonight, I need her strength to help get me through all the realities I'm going to be forced to face.
"Let's stop at your place first and see Haven," I offer as much for her as for me. The hugs of a beautiful little girl can wash away almost anything for a brief moment or two. "I can ask Clive what he wants."
"That works for me." She scoops up her smartphone and purse. "I'll help you get through this, Tess. You know you can count on me."
***
"I've been trying to reach you, Tess," Clive says as he embraces Lilly tightly. "I called you more than once. Where have you been?"
The words are too familiar and intimate for the business relationship I share with him. He may be the husband of my best friend, but until a few weeks ago, we hadn't exchanged more than a handful of words with one another. Since I started working on planning the gala his company, Corteck, is hosting, we've warmed up to one another. This goes beyond that though.
"I've been busy," I try to level out my tone. "Is there an issue with the gala you want to discuss?"
His eyes close briefly as he pulls Lilly closer to him. "My cousin stopped by my office this morning. My cousin, Jax. Ivy was with him."
He knows. I see it in his face. There's a flash of tenderness in his expression that is usually reserved for only Lilly and Haven. I look down, fearful that my scattered emotions will boil over and I'll fall to my knees in grief right here in the foyer of their condo.