She sadly smiled and I immediately felt bad. “That’s not what I tried to do, at least not intentionally. I’m sick, Lucas. I’m really sick.” The scarf around her bald head proved it. “You learn to look at things differently when something so life changing happens to you. I’ve made some mistakes and for that I’m sorry.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that shit happens and when it rains it pours. I know you’re at a crossroad in your life right now, but that doesn’t change the years of memories and love you two have between you. No one can take that away. Not Stacey. Not your son. Not the boys. Not Cole. And especially not me.” She stepped out in front of me and placed her hand over my heart. “It’s here,” and with that gesture she kissed my forehead and left.

I pulled out her necklace from under my shirt. My mom was right.

Except that’s all they were now…

Memories.

“So you and Cole, huh?” Austin asked with big dilated eyes.

We were at Cole’s fraternity party. Dylan was with some random chick, completely ignoring Aubrey like a complete dick. He barely said three words to her the entire time they were here and they were leaving tomorrow. As much as she tried to cover it up, I could tell it bothered her. Every time we went out a new girl was hung around his neck. He wasn’t very nice to them, and it blew my mind that they still fawned over him as much as they did.

Girls are weird.

Jacob was on his phone a lot, constantly texting someone. Stepping out of the room to answer his calls and not coming back inside for a while. I assumed he was with someone, but I couldn’t understand why he was so secretive about it. Then again he was still flirting and who knows what else he did with those girls while he was here. So if he was with someone then it wasn’t that serious. I tried to ask him one night but he blew me off by changing the subject.

No one had mentioned Lucas. Not one thing. Not one time. I guess we established a new policy, don’t ask and don’t tell.

Austin, well Austin was just a hot mess. Drinking every day. Partying every night. Most nights he didn’t come back to my apartment with us. Granted Dylan and Jacob hadn’t either but that was only for a night or two.

“What are you on, Austin?” I sat on the hood of my car with him in front of me.

“Just weed, Half-Pint, relax. You sound as bad as the guys.”

“I’m worried about you,” I coaxed.

“Don’t be, I’m fine. Now, you and Cole? You fucking him?”

I gasped. “Jesus, Austin.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, Alex, we’re not kids anymore. I know you get… wet,” he crudely baited.

I jumped off my car, walking away from him.

He grabbed my arm a little too hard. “Oh my God, stop! I’m joking. Calm down.”

“Let go of my arm.”

He did.

“You’re lying. What are you on?”

“Ecstasy.”

“Why?”

“Why not, Alex! You only live once. Might as well fucking make it count, right?”

“Austin,” I murmured, trying to reach for him.

“No! Don’t look at me like that. I’m having fun.”

I disappointingly eyed him.

“Fuck it. I’m out of here.”

“Austin,” I shouted after him, but he didn’t listen. He was gone.

When I told the boys later that night they said they weren’t surprised and they’ve tried to talk to him a few times, but he doesn’t care. We had to let him find his own way, as much as I hated it.

“It is what it is,” Jacob said, again the next morning while we were sitting on my back porch after I tried to talk to him about it. I once tried to talk to him about it. I didn’t understand why they weren’t as worried as I was. I guess they just thought it was normal guy stuff, but it didn’t feel that way to me, and it would take years for everyone to realize I was right.

“Did you check out what room Dylan came out of this morning?” I questioned with a wide-smile, wanting to lighten the mood.

“No?” he replied with an arched eyebrow and a grin.

I fervently nodded.

“What? They’ve barely said two words to each other.”

I shrugged. “I know. But he definitely slept in her room last night.”

“Dylan and Aubrey? You think they...?”

“I don’t know, Aubrey’s kinda loud.”

He busted out laughing.

“Thin walls.” I signaled around me with my finger.

“What about you, Half-Pint? You been loud?”

“No!”

“Good. Fucking keep it that way,” he ordered with a stern face.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“Cole and you, huh? Don’t look so surprised. I saw the subtle looks you gave each other and how he grabs your hand when he thinks no one is looking. I may have seen him lay one on you a few times when he thought you were alone.”

I blushed.

“It’s okay, I like him. He’s good to you and that’s all we’ve ever wanted.”

“I know.”

“Are you happy?” he quickly followed.

“Given the circumstances. You know Lucas’s mom, Lucas…”

“You look happy,” he sidestepped my statement. “The rest will fall into place on it’s own.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Who’s the girl?”

He grimaced. It was fast, but I saw it.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Ohhh,” I sat up on my feet in anticipation. “You like someone and you like them a lot! If you didn’t you would tell me! Oh my God, I’m so excited! Who is it? Do I know her?”

“Half-Pint,” he warned.

“Oh, come on, tell me! I won’t tell anyone I swear. Please,” I begged, pouting with my hands in a prayer gesture.

“It’s not like that.”

“Ahhh! You love her!”

“Jesus Christ, what the fuck?”

“You do!”

“Alex, you’re letting your mind run wild. I’m not with anyone.”

“Lies.”

“I don’t love anybody.”

“Lies.”

“I’m single.”

“Lies.”

“There’s no girl.”

“Lies.”

“Stop,” he demanded, standing up.

I beamed. “Fine. I’m going to find out eventually and when I do, I’m going to have to approve. I don’t want some skanky girl like the ones you’re used to dating. The ones you bring around all the time. I can’t even have a conversation with them because they’re so dumb. That’s not fun,” I stated.

He ignored me and walked into the house, proving that I was right.

I would learn soon enough how right I was.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Mason, happy birthday to you!” everyone sang and he excitedly clapped his chubby little hands together with a great big smile on his face.

It was his 1st birthday party. I couldn’t miss it, even though I was barely on speaking terms with his father. Mason looked exactly like Lucas, there was no resemblance to his mother at all, thank God for small miracles. I hadn't seen Mason much, maybe just a few times over the last year when I came to visit. Lucas’s mom had sent me a few pictures of him in his Halloween costume and his first Christmas outfit, I never asked her to, but I didn’t tell her to stop either. I had seen Lucas maybe a handful of times and we had spoken less than that, it was easier that way. Little by little it started to hurt less and less.

Cole and I were still together. We pretty much never left each other’s side. I stayed at his apartment most nights or he stayed at mine. I was happy. I didn’t think that would ever be possible without Lucas. I guess in some ways I grew up into Alexandra, leaving Half-Pint behind me.

Though we both did.

Lucas wasn’t Bo anymore. I didn’t recognize the man before me. He would be turning twenty-three soon, but he appeared much older, I guess fatherhood will do that to you. He loved and adored his son. I didn’t have to be around him long to see it, everyone could. When he wasn’t with him, the boys said he spent most of his time working, getting his new business off the ground. He opened a construction company that served residential and commercial construction. He hired a few employees but still got his hands dirty. It didn’t surprise me, since he was always building something when we were kids. His Legos went on for miles with landscaping, backyards, and driveways. His mom was constantly buying him more so that he could build onto it.