I was at Natalie’s when I got the call, and she and I both squealed and jumped up and down once I hung up. The next day, a sign went in the window at Coffee Darling looking for help, and by Friday evening, she’d already hired a college student who was home for the summer.

Sebastian was thrilled for me, and took me out for dinner at Mission Table the next night to celebrate. When he showed up at my parents’ front door, he presented me with a congratulatory bouquet of honey sticks tied together with a bright pink ribbon. I threw my arms around him and he lifted me right off my feet, laughing in my hair. If he’d have let go, I swear I’d have floated right into the sky.

At dinner that night, I laid out my summer plans, and he listened attentively. “I’m going to bust my butt to prove my worth there, and hopefully negotiate a raise after three months. At that point, I think I’ll have enough saved, and a good enough income, to afford a nice apartment and maybe buy or lease a car. The other thing I was thinking of is offering to rent a guest house from my mother come fall when the tourist season is over. Then I could continue to save and maybe buy something next year.”

“Sounds good.”

Suddenly I realized I was doing all the talking. I eyed him carefully. “You’re awfully quiet tonight.”

“Am I?”

“Yes. What’s up?”

He offered me a slight smile. “Nothing. I had a rough day, I guess. But it’s making me feel better to see how happy you are. I’m glad you got the job.”

“Yes. Thank you so much. It’s because of you, you know.”

He dismissed that idea with a wave of his hand. “Nah.”

“It is! I’m so grateful. And I’m planning to show you how grateful later on.” I swirled my tongue around the scallop on the end of my fork suggestively.

“In that case, I’ll take the credit.”

I smiled, smug and happy. “Good.”

Every day that summer, she was the first thing I thought about in the morning, and the last thing I thought of before I fell asleep, whether she was beside me or not. And as the weeks went by, I wanted her beside me more and more. I missed her when she wasn’t there—her smile, her laugh, her smell, her voice, her kiss, her touch.

I began working full time for my father’s firm in June, and I was doing well. The workload was manageable, challenging enough to be interesting but not overwhelming; I went to the gym most mornings before work and felt physically as good or better than I had in years; and I kept my weekly appointments with Ken, sometimes going in for a last-minute lunch appointment if I felt like the voice was causing my confidence in myself, my work, or my relationship to falter.

Emotionally, I felt more stable than I’d ever felt. The obsessive thoughts weren’t getting in the way of being close to Skylar, and she had this way of getting me to open up without being pushy. She was so honest about herself, so accepting of me, that I found myself talking to her about things I’d never shared with anyone—my favorite childhood memories of my mother, my love for poetry, especially about nature, and how I sometimes envied my brothers their happy marriages and families, even though I’d never been sure about having one of my own. One hot August night I told her how it was more an envy of their faith in themselves—the way they were able to make a decision like getting married or having kids without all the constant second guessing.

“I know what you mean,” she’d said, sucking on a honey stick. I kept a supply of them at my house now. We were lying at opposite ends of the hammock, our bodies tucked alongside each other’s. “Those forever things are scary to me too.”

I chuckled. “Forever things?”

“Yeah. Marriage, family. I mean, I like the idea of a family but I’m not sure I’d be a very good mother. Natalie’s positive she wants kids, and I think Jillian does too—but whenever I think about it, it seems like something so far off in the future. Forever things are what real grownups do.” She laughed softly. “I’m not one of those yet. Maybe after I get a car I’ll feel more grown up.”

We were quiet for a minute, and I put my hands behind my head, hoping to sound casual. “What about marriage? Do you ever think about that?” To my surprise, I’d been thinking about it a little bit lately, imagining what it would be like to be married to her, contrasting the peaceful life we’d have here with the frantic, noisy one I’d almost committed to in New York. How had I ever thought that would be right for me?

“All girls think about that at some point.” She shrugged. “I suppose I’m no exception. What about you?”

“Nah,” I lied. She hadn’t exactly jumped at the idea, so I figured I’d better not sound too enthusiastic. Maybe she was thinking of us as a just-for-now thing until the real thing came along? The notion crushed me, not that I blamed her. She could do so much better. “I’d be a terrible husband.”

She took the honey stick from her mouth and pointed it at me. “I was totally gonna tell you that. I mean, you can’t cook, your house is filthy, and your dick is just meh.”

I lunged for her and she screeched, jumping off the hammock and making me chase her onto the dock, where I threw her over my shoulder and carried her back into the cabin. She laughed and squealed, beating against my back in a futile effort to escape my arms. “I take it back, I take it back. I meant to say your dick is mehgnificent.”

“Too late, angel. You ran from me. You know what that means.” In the living room, I tossed her onto the couch, where she grinned up at me, breathless.

“But you don’t have rope.”

“No,” I said, unbuckling my belt and sliding it off. “But this will do.”

Her jaw dropped. “It will?”

“Uh huh. Stand up.”

Poor little angel. I think her legs might have actually trembled as she stood naked at the end of the couch while I bound her ankles and bent her forward over the arm.

Mine did. They trembled with lust as I slid my fingers inside her pussy and then inside her mouth, listening to her suck them. They trembled with awe when I fisted one hand in her hair and teased her tight little ass with the tip of my cock, astonished at the way she let me desecrate her. They trembled with euphoria when I fucked her up against the wall, one hand rubbing her clit as she came and cried out my name over and over again.

My god, I love her, I thought as I flooded her body, my vision clouding at the edges. I’m so in love with her I can’t see. She’s fucking perfect.

Actually my entire life was pretty fucking close to perfect. I’d never been happier.

And I’d never been less sure that I could hold onto it.

“Come on,” I said, pouting. “Look at the sheet. Did I get it right?”

It was late August, and we were sitting on a blanket on the dock with a bottle of Abelard Pinot Gris, and Sebastian was supposed to be quizzing me on the tasting specs. Recently, Mia and Lucas had asked if I’d be interested in repping their wines in the Midwest, meeting up with distributors, shop merchants, and sommeliers since Mia would be too busy with three kids to travel. I loved the idea, but knew I had a lot to learn about the wines at Abelard and the industry in general before I took on that role.

“Yes, you got it right.” Sebastian set his glass and the binder aside. “But school is over for the day.”

“I have to learn this by the weekend,” I whined. “You said you’d help.”

“I know.” He took my glass out of my hand and set it next to the candle lanterns we had burning. “And I am. I’m going to help you relax.”