My posture deflated a little. “Are you sure she’s OK?”

“Yes.” She looked at me, chewing on her bottom lip. “You look awful. What’s going on with you guys?”

“I fucked things up.” I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, not sure why I’d just blurted that out to Skylar’s sister but oddly relieved that I had. “I fucked things up and now she’s hurt and it’s my fault.”

“What? She slipped and fell, Sebastian. She was wearing ridiculously high heels and it was raining. How can that be your fault?”

Tears formed and I pressed a thumb and two fingertips over my eyes, embarrassed. “It just is. I know it.”

“Good grief. Come on.” She took me by the elbow and turned me around. “Let’s go get a cup of coffee. It won’t be as good as mine, but maybe it’s drinkable.” I let her steer me down the hall and around two corners, then over to a table in the near empty cafeteria. Dejected, I sank into a chair. “Don’t move,” she said.

I sat with my head in my hands, and a few minutes later she came back with two steaming white styrofoam cups and set them on the table. God, could I drink out of a hospital styrofoam cup? My skin crawled. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” She sat across from me. “Now spill. What happened?”

I shrugged and stared at my coffee. Where did I even begin?

She was quiet a minute, and I could feel her eyes on me. “I hope you don’t think she betrayed a confidence, but Skylar has mentioned your OCD to me.”

“I figured. I know you’re close.”

She picked up her coffee and blew across its surface. “Does this have anything to do with that?”

I sighed, feeling completely defeated. “Yes.”

More silence. “Do you have a therapist?”

“Yes. But I haven’t been honest with him about my relationship with Skylar. And I’ve been avoiding him for a month.”

“Why?”

I exhaled heavily. “Because when she told me she loved me, I relapsed, and I was too scared to admit it.”

She tilted her head. “Scared of what? Don’t you love her?”

I met her eyes. “Of course I love her. Look, I can’t even begin to explain the fucked up circuitry in my brain, but suffice it to say, I thought I was protecting her by saying nothing. By doing the things I did.” Solid thinking there, asshole.

Nodding slowly, she sipped her coffee. “What about now? Can you talk to him now?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if he can help me.” I swallowed hard against the bitter bile rising in my throat, so sick and tired of that voice in my head I wanted to scream. Why wouldn’t it just leave me the fuck alone? “I don’t know if anyone can help me.”

“I’m sorry.” She leaned forward, elbows on the table. “Because Skylar is crazy in love with you, you know. Every other word out of her mouth is your name. And I don’t think she’s going to let you go.”

“I love her too. But she already left me, and she was right to do it.”

“Says who?”

The voice in my head. “Me.”

“You’re right. That is fucked up.” She sounded so much like Skylar, I looked up sharply. “Sorry if that’s harsh, but I agree with you. I’m the first person to say I think Sky’s a great catch, but she’s a handful too. Ever tried to share a bathroom with her? Good grief, she’s a slob. Makeup and hair shit everywhere. And her shoe collection—good grief! Those boxes! Good luck to any man who needs any closet space at all in her house.”

My lips tipped up a little. “Yeah. She does have a lot of shoes.”

“She’s a cover hog too. Ever notice that?”

I had, but it didn’t bother me. I’d subject myself to subzero temperatures before letting her be cold at night.

“And she’s pretty and all but have you ever seen her funny little ears? They stick way out from her head like a monkey’s.”

I found myself smiling at a memory—Skylar surfacing after jumping into the lake the first time we went swimming together, hands over her ears. I thought they were adorable, of course, but she hated them. “Yeah. But I actually like them.”

“What about the way she’s so obsessed with wine now? I never thought I’d get bored with wine, but Jesus, if I have to listen to her talk about vines and terroir and fruit on the palate any more, I’m going to strangle her.”

I straightened up, feeling the need to defend her. “She’s dedicated to her new job. I love that about her.”

“Well then, I’d suggest you try harder to get over feeling like you don’t deserve her, because believe me, all she wants is you, and any man that can put up with her bathroom mess and her closet hogging and cover stealing and fruit-on-the-palating and the Nixon ears…” She shrugged. “Seems like you guys should make this work.”

Miserable, I slumped back in my chair again and regarded Natalie. “Her faults are so small compared to mine. Mine drive us both crazy and they probably would for the rest of our lives.”

She tilted her head from side to side. “Maybe. Guess you won’t know until you try it. But nobody’s perfect, Sebastian. Give yourself a break.”

I sat there for a minute, my hands on the table, wondering what to do next. “She won’t even talk to me.”

She pressed her lips together. “She’s being stubborn. Of course she wants to see you, she just won’t say that. Her exact words were, ‘Not until he gets his shit together. And I can’t be the one to get it together for him.’”

I frowned. She was right about that—I had to fix this on my own, if I could. But I was so worried about her. “What about her injuries? They’re not serious?”

“No. Like I said, a broken wrist and a bump on the noggin, that’s all. Since she lost consciousness briefly, they’re keeping her for observation, but she seems fine.”

The thought of her slender wrist broken and a bump on her head infuriated and saddened me. I wished there was some way I could bear it all for her. “Is she in pain? Will her new insurance cover this? She just got benefits last month,” I worried.

Natalie scrunched up her face as she set down her cup. “Yeah, we’re waiting to hear. Our parents might have to help her out.”

My hand shot out and I grabbed her arm. “Please let me pay for it. I want to. I want to take care of her.” Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

I didn’t even feel that bad about counting it out. I’d have kept going, to infinity, but Natalie shook her head. “She’ll never let you.”

I set my elbows on the table and buried my head in my hands. I had so much work to do. So much ground to regain.

Natalie touched my wrist. “Go see your therapist, Sebastian. And try again. She’s worth it.”

“She is worth it.” I looked up at Natalie, totally sure of what I was saying. “She’s the one.”

I woke up to the sight of Natalie reading a magazine in the chair near my bed. “Hey,” I croaked.

“Hey. You’re up.” She set her magazine aside. “How do you feel?”

I made a face, tried to shift positions. “Haven’t been this sore since I fell off the mechanical bull. Achey. Wrist hurts.” I lifted my left arm gingerly. “God, I’m such a klutz. This really sucks.”

Natalie nodded sympathetically. “How’s your head?”

“Hurts. But still attached.” I tried to move my neck, which was stiff as hell. “How come you’re not at work?”

“I had Michael open for me.”

“Did you talk to Mia?”

“Yes. She and Lucas are both very worried about you and said not to concern yourself with anything at Abelard. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mia came by here today, or by your house tomorrow, if they let you go. She wants to see you.”

I nodded, but that hurt, so I just lay still and moaned. “Uuuuuuugh, why did I have to wear those damn expensive shoes?”