‘I think you’ve seen enough,’ I said. ‘For educational purposes. Would you say that’s a close approximation to your fantasy?’

She cast her eyes down and nodded.

I felt my heart sink. I’d been right, but I so wished I hadn’t. I didn’t know why, but it still came as something of a shock. I’d known really, right from the night at the F Bar.

If I hadn’t realised then, I’d have guessed anyway, when she’d said about claiming back what was hers. I’d read enough about Leo Sparkes’s exploits to deduce what she meant. Yet still, it drove a dagger through my heart to think of this captivating creature succumbing to the desires of a group of strangers. I’d known tonight wasn’t going to be easy, but I hadn’t realised how hard it was going to be to let go of my dreams and pass them over to my closest associates.

But if that was what it took to keep her safe, to stop her doing it elsewhere, then that was what had to happen. My feelings came second. She was too vulnerable and, in some strange way, innocent to leave her to the fate that would inevitably be hers if she took her fantasy outside these walls.

‘All right,’ I said, more abruptly than I’d meant to. I was trying to keep the misery out of my voice, but it came out harsh and business like. I held a cluster of forms out to her. ‘These are medical tests – the address is on the back. The others are legalese. Non-disclosure and the rest. All designed to protect everyone involved. Read through them and, if you’re happy, bring them back with you. Get in touch when your test results come through, if you still want to go through with it. But think. Hard.’

She looked up at me with an unreadable expression.

‘Okay,’ she said, in a small voice.

At that moment, there was a knock at the door.

‘Ah, Ronnie,’ I said, as I opened it.’ I was trying to appear off-hand, but I had to get out of there before my voice cracked. ‘Just the person. Kindly show Miss Anderton out – I need to keep an eye on things here.’

    Thirty Four

Her

And he was gone again. Just like that. If I’d begun to think I’d outstayed my welcome, I knew it now. I looked down at the forms in my hand, then back up at Ronnie. She was regarding me with a serene smile.

‘Somebody’s ruffled some feathers,’ she said, smoothly, stepping back to allow me to pass. ‘Have you had…words?’

‘Uh, no,’ I said, still taken aback by his swift exit. I must’ve really pissed him off, pressing myself against him like that. Especially now I knew he was married. He’d been tempted, that much was obvious, but he was a better person than me. The scene, coupled with his presence so close behind me, had proved a mix too heady for me to resist. I had to get back some self-control. I didn’t blame him for hating me.

‘Funny,’ she said, as we walked back along the corridors to the entrance hall. ‘I’ve never seen him quite so…dismissive of a guest before.’

‘Oh.’ I absorbed this information with no joy whatsoever. So I was special in one way, at least. ‘Well, he couldn’t wait to get rid of me.’

‘Ignore him,’ said Ronnie, casting me a sideways look. ‘He doesn’t mean to be hard. He doesn’t know how to be soft.’

‘I’m sorry…’ I said. ‘About what I said before. I…didn’t think.’

She gave a harsh laugh. ‘I’m used to it by now,’ she said. ‘I can’t turn back time. I just thought for a moment back there…you and Nat…you know.’

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Oh no, definitely not.’

‘You seem very certain.’ She was still regarding me curiously, as we came back out into the entrance hall.

‘To be honest,’ I said. ‘I think he hates me.’

She gave a mirthless chuckle. ‘Well, that’s a stronger emotion than indifference,’ she said. ‘Trust me, I’d know.’

We walked over to the doors and, as the maid opened them, she stooped down and pecked me on the cheek. ‘Be careful, Grace,’ she murmured in my ear. ‘Don’t do anything you might regret.’

I hardly noticed the journey home. I had so much to think about, I paid no heed to the country roads and was surprised when I found myself back in the city and almost in Chiswick. I kept thinking of Nathaniel’s hand running over me, his body curved in against mine. He was so perfect I couldn’t resist him in such close proximity. I’d been dying to turn around and tousle his thick dark hair, run my fingers down the etched hollows of his cheeks, commit suicide in his eyes.

But he’d pulled away from me and I could only stand there, making out I was still interested in what was going on in the playroom and trying to pretend it hadn’t happened. Now, he hated me, that much was evident, and Ronnie’s words came back to me. Don’t do anything you might regret. She was warning me off him – she’d read the situation and knew I wasn’t to be trusted. My being there was proof enough of that.

I had to take a step back and actually stop and think, for once. What did I really want? What was he after, anyway? He’d offered to help me, but all he’d managed, so far, was to hurt me.

And the whole operation he was running…what was it all about, anyway? Did I really want to get involved in something so…seedy? At least now I understood his nickname. The Filth Monger suited him down to the ground. Surely he didn’t need money that much? He was supposed to be heir to a fortune.

It was all questions with no answers, and none of it made any sense. My thoughts were a dizzying, mixed-up mess and, by the time Stephens had dropped me off, I was ready for my bed. I was amazed to find it was only half nine, but I went anyway. I couldn’t bear to think any more about everything that had happened.

    Thirty Five

Her

The next day, I got in touch with the clinic he’d referred me to. It was Saturday, and I hadn’t expected it to be open, but I’d rung on the off-chance, and they’d told me to come straight over. Of course they would, I realised, as soon as they said it. They were in his pay, like Valentina. God, his seedy operation had its tentacles everywhere.

The clinic was a private one, naturally, very sparse and bleak. As soon as I got there, I was taken in to a clean, white room and told to strip from the waist down. The tests were to rule out STDs, they told me, which made me feel worse than cheap. I sat on the bed, my legs up in stirrups, feeling like a real no-good slut and, for once, I didn’t enjoy the thought.

I went back to work on the Monday and, on the Tuesday, Jimmy rang me at work. He couldn’t get through on my mobile, because I was under Max’s eagle eye and couldn’t answer it, so he had himself put through via Reception.

‘The bids have been finalised,’ he said, in tones of high glee. ‘And you, Miss Anderton, are going to be a very wealthy girl. How does Saturday Siesta grab you?’

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. It was one of the most popular programmes on TV.

‘Saturday Siesta? That sounds…terrifying, Jimmy.’ I’d been standing at my desk, talking to Pascale, but now I sat down in my chair with a bump. ‘Are you sure it’s a good idea?’

‘Just be your sweet little self,’ he said, with a chuckle. ‘You’re going to walk it.’

I put the phone down to find Max standing over me, unimpressed. ‘I don’t know what that was about exactly,’ he said. ‘But I got the general idea and I don’t like it. Kindly remember you’re here to do a job, Grace.’

‘Yes, Max.’

I settled myself back down at my desk, my heart pounding. Just be your sweet little self. I couldn’t help a smile. That was the last thing Jimmy would want. If only he knew…he’d have kittens, especially straight after Kitty’s fall from grace.

The rest of the week passed slowly. I went to work each day on autopilot. The only time I was remotely interested in anything, after Jimmy’s phone call, was when a tall, dark-haired man came into the department. His suit was immaculate and understated and, for a moment, my heart flipped in my chest. But it wasn’t my Filth Monger, it was some other, imperfect guy, with too-big teeth and an over-wide smile. It made me realise how desperate I was to see Nathaniel again, despite everything.