I reached the bottom of the stairs, and fell into her embrace. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me to her as if she wanted to squeeze the hurt out of me. I started crying again. God, would I ever stop?

‘It’s okay, sweetie,’ she murmured in my ear. ‘It’s gonna be fine. Just let it all come out. I’ve got you.’

I went through the whole sobbing scenario all over again, right there in her hallway.

‘I’m sorry,’ I croaked, eventually. ‘I can’t seem to stop at the moment.’

‘Shut up,’ she said. ‘It’s been one day.’

She put her arm around my waist, and shepherded me through into her living room. It was magenta too, the paint daubed thickly over the wallpaper. Sagging patchwork sofas dominated the room, brought into focus by the open fireplace.

From the mantelpiece, a photo of her mum frowned down, flanked by growths of candle and incense sticks. It was practically a shrine, but Mum didn’t seem too impressed. She was probably pissed off by Liv’s refurbishment of the place, if that was the word I wanted. Looking at the heavy, black curtains and the cigarette burns on the carpet, refurbishment seemed an over-enthusiastic description, but the place suited Liv and, now Gav had gone, it suited me. Even so, I couldn’t stop moving, pacing again, restless.

‘You can stay as long as you want, hon,’ Liv said, lighting a cigarette. ‘No problem. Now, stop wearing out the shag pile, for fuck’s sake, and sit down.’

I did as I was bidden. ‘Thanks,’ I said, and I meant it so much. ‘I didn’t know where to go. I rang my sister…’

‘Don’t.’ Liv shot me a look of disdain. ‘That self-satisfied bitch. Talking of which, there’s something I should probably tell you, and you’re not going to like it…’

Fourteen

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake…’ Liv came back into the living room carrying two cups of tea. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

She passed me mine – an old chipped mug with Garfield on it. It reminded me of a card Leo had bought me when we first started going out, and I felt the tears welling up again.

I looked up at the mantelpiece and told myself firmly it wasn’t that bad. No one had died. She went over to the window, and pushed open the heavy curtains. The evening sunlight filtered through and caught on the motes of dust floating in the room. I watched them absently, as she looked out at the garden.

‘Of course it’s not your fault,’ she said finally, turning to face me. She sat down in the armchair opposite me, and put her mug on the coffee table. ‘How could it be?’

‘But I told you,’ I ran my finger around the top of my cup, the chip snagging at my skin. ‘I wasn’t…satisfied.’

‘Nor was he.’ She gave a snort of disgust. ‘God knows why. Bottom line, you stayed faithful, he didn’t. So how is it your fault?’

‘The guy in Max’s office…’ I began.

‘Hell yeah.’ She picked up her cup and took a slurp of tea. ‘So you went weak at the knees? So did I. So did the entire female workforce of Ffyvells, I should think.’ She took another slurp. ‘Not to mention a fair percentage of the men. Jeremy, for one.’

‘He wasn’t there,’ I said vacantly, still swirling my fingertip around the mug. The chip caught it on each circuit. The certainty of it made it almost reassuring.

‘He wasn’t quite up to Max’s standard, though.’ She carried on as if I hadn’t spoken. ‘He was a bit too…’

‘Perfect?’

‘…refined…for my taste.’ She grinned wickedly. ‘You know me…down and dirty.’

I managed a smile. ‘Yeah, Max is more of a bad boy, somehow, isn’t he?’

Liv laughed. ‘He’s a plaster saint compared to some of the boys I’ve known, but yeah,’ she drained her cup and slammed it down. ‘He’ll do for me.’

‘So…’ I couldn’t help myself. It hardly mattered any more, anyway. I had no one to feel guilty about. ‘Who was he? Do you know?’

‘The guy in Max’s office?’ Liv grinned. ‘That’s my girl. Sorry, but I’ve no idea. There was nothing in the diary though. Believe me – I looked. So I’d say either it was an emergency, or he’s a friend of Max’s.’

‘Or both,’ I said thoughtfully.

‘Whoever the hell he is,’ she stood up and went over to the mantelpiece. ‘He’s not the reason you’re sitting here tonight. You’re just trying to make allowances for your shitty boyfriend.’

‘Maybe if I’d been more attentive…’

Liv was straightening her mother’s photo but, at my words, she turned sharply and frowned at me. ‘He wouldn’t have hit you? Girls who get knocked about are usually very attentive, in my experience. I mean, you wouldn’t want to upset him, would you?’

‘I…’

‘Give him whatever he wants, forget to worry about what you need, isn’t that how it goes?’

‘But I…’ I tried to protest, but even I could feel the weakness in my voice.

Liv sat down next to me, and took my hands in hers. She looked into my eyes steadily. ‘Listen, Grace. Maybe this is the best thing that could’ve happened.’

I just stared at her. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. I felt humiliated, all over again.

‘Do you think I haven’t noticed the bruises, hun?’ she said, softly. ‘I asked you the other week if everything was okay, didn’t I? But you wouldn’t talk.’

‘It’s only occasionally…when he’s had a drink.’ I could feel my cheeks burning with the admission. ‘And the others? Does everybody...’

‘I don’t think so.’ Liv lifted my mug to my lips. ‘You’re good with the concealer. It’s just…well, let’s say I know what to look for.’

I took a gulp of tea. It was full of sugar, sweet and milky, and barely luke warm. I took a deep breath, and drank it down as quickly as I could manage. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know. What happened?’

As Liv opened her mouth to reply, the doorbell rang. I was glad I’d drunk my tea, because I jumped violently.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Liv, with a grimace.

‘Is it…’ I whispered. ‘Is it her?’

‘Reckon so,’ she said, getting up reluctantly and heading to the door. She stopped in the doorway, and looked back. ‘Unless,’ she said, with a grin. ‘It’s Gav, back for round two.’

Of the two, I’d have preferred Gav.

I heard Liv answer the door, and the sound of a female voice – a voice I knew only too well. I sat there, gripping the edge of the sofa and wondering what to say to get rid of her.

Liv came back into the room. She went to speak, but someone pushed past her. ‘Oh my god, Grace. Just look at the state of you!’

It was Kitty Hart, WAG extraordinaire and wife of the fabled Johnno. Johnno was a legend among the fans. He’d been with the club since the youth team, and captain for nearly eight years. He was also the only other one, out of the six caught up in the Hull affair, that wasn’t single.

Kitty was leggy, blonde and busty. She was the archetypal bimbo, except that she wasn’t at all. It was an act, and she excelled at it. She was a business woman, through and through, even more popular among the male fans than Johnno, mainly due to her habit of appearing naked at every opportunity. Purely for profit, mind you, and nowadays only for the most select of men’s publications.

She was also the last person I wanted to see right now.

‘I’m sorry,’ Liv said, again. She’d been apologising ever since she’d got home. ‘I tried to put her off, but…’

‘I know.’ Kitty gave a ridiculous tinkly laugh. ‘Leo didn’t know where you were, and you weren’t answering your phone, so I went to your offices.’

‘I heard,’ I said, blankly.

‘And they wouldn’t say, but I could tell they knew, so…’

‘So she refused to leave,’ Liv butted in, angrily. ‘Max was furious.’

‘In the end you told me, didn’t you, Liv?’ Kitty threw her a conspiratorial smirk, which Liv deflected with a glare. ‘Yes,’ she said, reluctantly. ‘I didn’t have much choice…’

‘Anyway,’ Kitty continued, blithely. ‘Let me look at you.’