“But she is,” Gracie said, staring up into her sister’s face. Emmaline had the same coloring as their mother—platinum blond hair and baby blue eyes—but she exuded a warmth and calm that was all their father’s.
“She’s lonely. That’s why she insists on these weekly lunches. I think she believes that you’ll come around more if you were married, though I don’t know why. I swear I am busier now than when I was single.”
“I’d come around more if she didn’t treat me like I was a failure.”
“You’re not a failure.” Emmaline wrapped her long, slender arms around Gracie and drew her into a hug. “Though, if we don’t get you married off soon, Mother’s likely to take it into her own hands. Who knows what would happen then.”
Her tone was joking but there was truth behind the words. Gracie rolled her eyes. She’d only turned twenty-seven a few months ago and Cecilia Greene was acting like Gracie was going past her use-by date.
She fought back the emotions. It was pointless letting her mother affect her in such a way, but she didn’t have the strength to fight it. She hugged her sister back. Emmaline was the only one who had the ability to instantly take Gracie’s anger down a notch with one simple gesture.
Gracie breathed in her sister’s familiar, comforting scent and the pounding in her head eased. “I wish Dad was still alive.”
“Me, too.” Emmaline released her, a sad smile on her pale pink lips. “I know Mother’s crazy, but she loved Dad more than anything. I believe deep down she wants the same for us.”
“You think?”
“I hope so.” Emmaline paused, studying her. “You’re still thinking about that guy. I can practically hear the cogs turning in your head.”
“Why?” Gracie moaned into her hands. “Why did I have to kiss him?”
Emmaline smiled. “I thought you said that he kissed you.”
“He did.” She sighed. “But I kissed him back.”
“That makes all the difference.”
“It does. If I hadn’t kissed him back then I could brush it off as his mistake, not mine. But there was definite reciprocation of the kiss.”
“Was he good?”
“The best.” Gracie sighed. “What’s wrong with me, Ems? Why do I do this to myself?”
“Because you have an eye for trouble?” Emmaline smiled and patted Gracie on the arm. “Because you know he’d make Mother flip out?”
“That’s precisely why I shouldn’t go out with him.”
“Do you think there’s something in a relationship with this guy?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Maybe. I don’t know. He wouldn’t fit in with the family, that’s for sure.”
“And you’re not interested unless it’s long term?”
“If I go there, there’ll be no coming back.” Gracie sighed. “He’s intense, gorgeous, and perfectly imperfect.”
“How so?”
Gracie was unable to wipe the grin that formed on her lips every time she imagined Des. “He’s tattooed and permanently unshaven. He doesn’t do airs and graces, he’s funny, sexy…”
“He sounds pretty good to me.”
“What would Mother say if I brought home a guy who looks like you wouldn’t want to cross him in a dark alley?”
“I’m sure she thinks most guys these days fit that description.”
“He wouldn’t fit in at the hospital charity functions or the golf days. Mother would probably torture him until he left.”
Just like the last one…
Gracie leaned against the kitchen counter and dropped her head into her hands. It was hopeless. She’d been down this route before and it hadn’t ended well. She could still remember the look on her ex’s face when he’d finally given up and left. No one could take years of Cecilia Greene’s emotional battering…no one except Gracie and Emmaline.
“Does it really matter what mother thinks?” Emmaline asked, as if reading Gracie’s mind.
“How can you even ask that?” Gracie shook her head and went to the fridge to retrieve the cheesecake her sister had baked. “You know what she’s like.”
“I think there’s more to it than that.” Emmaline peered at her with shrewd eyes. “You’ve gone against her plenty of times in the past. Why is this different?”
“You mean apart from the fact that I’ve already lost one guy that I cared about because of her?”
“I know you thought you loved Ben, but you were both so young. No, there’s something else you’re not telling me.”
Sometimes she hated how well her sister knew her. Behind her prim, well-mannered exterior, she was sharply intelligent. She understood people, could work out what made them tick. She could look at Gracie and delve into the things she tried hardest to keep hidden.
“Out with it,” Emmaline demanded.
“I made a promise to Dad before he died.” She looked up at her older sister, the wave of grief crashing anew. It had been over a year already and she still missed him as though he’d only just gone.
“What promise?”
“That I would settle down, get married, and keep Mother happy.”
Tears prickled at her eyes. She’d made the promise when they were alone. Emmaline and their mother had taken a coffee break and Gracie had stayed back, holding her father’s hand and trying to bargain with the heavens for more time.
“So that explains the dating obsession.” Emmaline busied herself hunting through the kitchen cupboards until she found a crystal cake platter. She helped Gracie place the cake on the platter and stood back, admiring her handiwork for a moment before continuing. “You know he only wanted you to be happy.”
“And dating a guy who would drive Mother crazy is going to make me happy?” Gracie shook her head. “No, it’s going to make me miserable like it did last time and then he’ll leave anyway.”
“You don’t know that.”
“It’s happened once. I don’t want to go through that again.”
“If it’s not going to work out, then why don’t I set you up with one of Conrad’s friends?” Emmaline asked sweetly as she sliced the cake into perfect wedges.
The thought of being set up with one of his friends was nauseating, though she was sure her sister knew that.
“Ems, I’m fine. I shouldn’t have worried you with it.”
“You’re my sister. Of course you should worry me with these things.”
“I don’t understand what more Mother wants from me.” Heat rose to Gracie’s cheeks and spilled down her neck. “For god’s sake, it’s not like I’m out partying and getting into trouble. I just haven’t found the right guy yet.”
“Don’t get upset,” Emmaline said. Her voice was purposefully calming, a skill perfected from years of smoothing the friction between her youngest sister and their mother. “It was only a kiss. Wasn’t it?”
“I don’t know. I’m so confused.” Gracie shook her head. “I feel like I can’t keep the promise to Dad and go after what I want with Des.”
“Has trying to keep the promise worked so far?”
Gracie sighed. “No.”
“He would want you to be happy and let’s face it, no one is ever really going to please Mother.” Emmaline laughed. “That would be like setting yourself up for failure.”
“I have set myself up for failure.”
Emmaline nudged her with a bony elbow. “You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t try, at the very least.”
“Where did all this carpe diem advice come from?” Gracie gave her sister a squeeze. Emmaline was usually the voice of conservative reason, the sister more likely to fulfil Cecilia Greene’s wishes. For years Gracie had seen her older sister as a parrot of their mother, but lately she seemed to be distancing herself.
“I’m realizing that just because something pleases Mother doesn’t mean it’s right.” A strange undercurrent of emotion flickered in her eyes. “I guess what I’m saying is sometimes you have to trust your instincts instead of your head. Instead of your rules.”
Gracie laid a hand on her sister’s arm. “Is everything okay, Em?”
“Yes, of course.” The bright smile was immediately back in place. “I think you should go for it, that’s all.”
Gracie glanced out to the dining table where her mother sat. Cecilia had folded her hands in front of her, a frown pulling her thin lips into a harsh line and her cold blue eyes narrowed at something in the distance. She knew her mother loved her and Emmaline deep down… Unfortunately these days it felt so deep down that the love might not ever see the light of day again.