When the Perfect Comes

Face to Face

Love’s Patient Fury

Love me Forever (Releasing Summer of 2015)

PREVIEW: THE GIRL IN THE COMFORTABLE QUIET

Releasing June 2015

I can’t stop shaking. God, I wish my body would be still. But nothing in my life could have prepared me for this. Maybe there are some shocks so severe that they reverberate through you, and you can’t do anything except wait until they quiet on their own.

I stare down into my wine. This is definitely one of those shocks.

Rene sinks to sit on her knees across the coffee table. She just stares and I can see this has leveled her as much as me. She doesn’t know what to say. It is as if this crisis is so enormous she’s afraid to speak. A Rene first.

My eyes fix on her, stricken and wounded. “I can’t believe this. How could it be true? Shouldn’t I have known? How could I not know? I’m married to the man.”

Rene flushes, something flashes in her eyes and then she looks away.

Oh my God.

“You knew!” I accuse harshly. “You knew and you didn’t tell me. How could you do that, Rene? How could you do that to me?”

“No, no, no. I didn’t know, Chrissie. I swear. I had suspicions and you were so certain about Neil. I ended up thinking I was wrong. Crazy. I thought I was wrong so I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? What kind of friend are you?”

She eases forward in a posture simultaneously aggressive and defensive. “I did try to tell you, Chrissie. When we lived together in Berkeley. I told you I didn’t like Neil. I told you there was something about him I didn’t like. You just didn’t hear me.”

Flashing snippets of old memories soar through my head. Oh God, she did tell me. I just didn’t understand. I refused to see what Rene could see, but deep down, I think I always knew.

I jump to my feet and run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Everything is running loose and frantic in me and I can’t bear to look at Rene, not for another moment. I haven’t gotten a single thing in my life right. Every decision I’ve made hasn’t been right or left turns. It’s been right or wrong turns, and the wrong path is the one I invariably take.

I let Alan go, over and over again, and he’s the only man I’ve ever truly loved. That is the truth. Why do I hide from it?

I married Neil and I shouldn’t have. That is the truth and I hid from that as well. That nagging voice deep inside me told me not to do it, I ignored it, and I refused to listen. My life is in shambles, I have no one to blame but me, and I don’t know how to fix any of it

PREVIEW: BROKEN CROWN

Releasing June 2015

I shut off the shower deciding not to call Chrissie. I dress for an excursion on my bike. Traveling the rural splendor of the United States on a Harley is one of the few things left in my life I still enjoy. The decision this time has nothing to do with savoring the scenery.  The days it will take to travel from New York to California will give me a chance to back out if sanity decides to return. The call ahead of time will do neither of us any good if I decide not to see her.

I sink down onto my bed to make two phone calls. I tell my assistant to clear my calendar for the next month. I hang up as she bellows every reason why that isn’t possible. Then I call the garage to get my bike ready.

I tuck into a backpack only what I need for the journey to Los Angeles. I almost leave the bedroom when I recall the lump in my sheets. Tucking the bracelet into my pocket, I reach out a hand and shake the body in my bed. “You need to get dressed and get the hell out of here, love. I’m going to California. If you’re a whore, I’d like to pay you first. If you’re a nice girl, leave me your number.”

The brown-eyed beauty sits up, pulling with her the blankets to cover her naked flesh. Morning after modesty, another farce since my memory isn’t so dim that I forgot what we did last night. Those pouting red lips smile.

Ah, Boston bred. The girl isn’t ruffled by any of it.

Smoothly charming, she says, “I’ll bill you.  Though it’s often considered a blurry difference, I’m not a whore. I’m your attorney.  One of your divorce attorneys. I brought the finalized settlement contracts, and though you missed our meeting, I waited ten hours in this apartment for you to return to sign them since your ex-wife has an irritating proclivity to change her mind.  I thought it best we jump on the offer and settle it fast since you didn’t have a pre-nuptial agreement. When I tried to explain, you jumped on me. I thought what the hell, it’s been a slow day and I’m earning five hundred bucks an hour for this. Why shouldn’t my job have an occasional perk? You have been interesting. I’ve never been laid by a man who holds an infinity band while he fucks me. I think it’s better I don’t tell you the things you mumbled. I’ll only warn you that you should be relieved it’s covered under attorney/client privilege since my meter ticks until you sign those documents. The contracts are on the dresser. Please sign them so I can shower, dress and go. It’s Saturday, in case you don’t know what day it is, and I play racquetball at six. That I didn’t expect you to know. It was a subtle attempt to speed you up in the signing.”

I laugh softly. My attorney is charming. I go to the dresser and do a quick study of the contracts. “Thank you for not boring me with whatever I mumbled and thank you for promising to bill me so it’s privileged. You can, however, bore me by letting me know how much this is costing me.”

Panties and bra in place, my attorney scrambles from my bed, gathering her clothes then snatches the signed contracts from my hand.

“Me, I cost you seventy-two hundred for this meeting. You’re ex-wife cost you one-hundred-sixteen million two hundred-twenty-seven thousand, a combination of cash, future cash, and an interesting assortment of personal property. You did, however, manage to retain the Malibu house, that against my advice you battled her over, the bill from me five-hundred thousand over the value of it.”

I clutch her chin a little roughly and give her a hard kiss. “You, love, were a bargain.”

I leave her, half dressed, staring at me from my bathroom doorway. It sounded theatrical even to me. Chrissie would have given me such shit for those theatrics, but the girl seemed to be expecting something like that so I played along.

Thank you for reading. You might enjoy a sneak peek into Chrissie and Alan’s future, with Rewind A Perfect Forever Novella.

He doesn’t laugh. Instead, his gaze sharpens on my face. “I am being nice, Kaley. I came to you. I got tired of waiting.”

What? Did I just hear what I think I heard?

Before I can respond, he says, “How’s your afternoon looking? Do you have time to take off and come see something with me?”

My afternoon? There is something. I’m sure of that, but I suddenly can’t remember a single thing.

“What do you have in mind?”

“I want to show you where I’ve been living. What I’ve been doing. I think you’ll find it interesting.”

Interesting? Why would I find it interesting?

“So, do you think you can cut out for a few hours?” he asks, watching me expectantly.

I focus my gaze on the table, wondering if I should go, wondering why I debate this, and what the heck I have on the calendar that I can’t remember. God this is weird, familiar and distant at once, and I haven’t a clue what I should do here.

I stare at his hand, so close to mine, on the table. Whoever thought it would be so uncomfortable not to touch a guy? It doesn’t feel natural, this space we hold between us, spiced with the kind of talk people have who know each other intimately. What would he do if I touched him…?