“You should kick him into touch,” he said, his words muffled against the side of his girlfriend’s head. Veronica stared down at the floor, pinned against Carl’s chest. “You’re a lovely girl, Bella. You deserve better. Get that brother of mine into line. You know you can do it.”

Bella heard, or thought she heard, the menace underlying the words. Get that brother of mine into line… was he telling her that he knew that she knew? Or did he just suspect? Had – oh horror – Jake told them both that he’d told her, Bella? If he had, what were they plotting? Were they plotting to ensure her silence? Oh Christ… Bella put her glass down abruptly. The smell of pasta sauce was making her feel sick. She muttered a brief goodbye and headed for the door.

She went into the bathroom on the first floor, as it was the only door in the house with a lock. She couldn’t bear to be naked with the two of them just a floor below but she turned the shower on to fool them into thinking she’d got into it. Then she sat on the edge of the bath, enveloped in damp, billowing steam, biting her nails.

After twenty minutes, when her nails were reduced to ragged edges and the bathroom walls were just visible behind clouds of white vapour, she heard the crash of the front door. Immediately, Bella’s head shot up. She scrambled for the taps of the shower and wrenched them off, listening out for voices in the hallway. Was it Carl or Veronica leaving or – she heard a voice and sighed with relief – it was Jake. Cautiously, she put her head around the door of the bathroom. She could hear muted voices from the kitchen downstairs. Bella hurried along to the bedroom and closed the door firmly behind her.

She was in bed when Jake opened the door quietly. He came into the room quietly too, almost sheepishly. Bella looked at him and was swept with longing to have the old days back again, those first heady loved-up days, when all that mattered was when they were next going to bed. It’ll never be the same again, she thought to herself. Everything’s changed now. It’ll never be fun or light-hearted again. Tears pricked her eyes but she managed to smile.

“Hi you.”

He sat down on the side of the bed nearest her. He’d been hesitant with her since his revelation, shy to touch her. She was glad, in a way. Bella put her hand out to him and he took it, after a moment.

“You okay?”

Was everyone going to ask her that? She nodded. He looked awful; his eyes bloodshot, his hair limp with grease, the collar of his shirt yellowed and unwashed. Pity rose in her and she squeezed his hand.

“Have you had dinner yet?” he asked.

Bella shook her head. She had no appetite these days, none at all. She’d stepped on the scales in the bathroom this morning to see she’d lost nearly half a stone. Still, she couldn’t eat. All she wanted was to drink, to wipe away feeling – and memories.

“I’ll make you something. No, don’t shake your head. You’ve got to eat something, you’re wasting away.”

“You could bring me a glass of wine,” said Bella. Somehow it was easier to pretend she was ill than to work up the energy to get up.

“Okay.” Jake got up off the bed and took off his jacket. Bella watched him in the dim light of the bedroom and felt a miniscule pulse of desire, a pale ghost of what she’d once felt. She grasped at it, thankful to feel anything but like a willow-the-wisp, it slipped past her and was gone and she was back to nothing, emptiness. She drew the duvet cover more tightly about her.

He was downstairs for a long time. Bella got out of bed once, almost resolved on following him down to the kitchen. She stopped with her hand on the door. She couldn’t; she couldn’t sit in a room with the three of them. She’d go mad, or start screaming, or do something that would mean the game was up. She went back to bed and lay down again, trying not to cry.

Jake came back with not just a glass, but a full bottle of wine and a plate of steaming pasta.

“V told me to give you this,” he said, proffering it. Bella took it slowly. Her initial reaction was to recoil and thrust her hands out against it, warding it off.

“Did V give you this for me, just for me?”

“Yes.” Something in her tone must have shown him. He sat down and hugged her awkwardly, trying not to spill the pasta. “Don’t worry, I had some too. It’s nice.”

Bella gave up. She pushed a forkful in and chewed slowly, trying not to gag. Holding her breath, she swallowed and the masticated food slid down to her belly. She took a gulp of wine and it was wonderful how quickly its warmth rushed through her, blotting out her concern with the food.

After half a plateful, Bella was able to concede that she felt fine. She held her glass out to Jake for a refill.

“By the way,” he said, as he was pouring. “V and Carl are going away this weekend.”

Bella’s hand jerked minutely and a drop of wine fell onto the pillow in a tiny, bloody splash.

“Really? When did they say?”

“Just now. They’re going to Bath for the weekend. They’re just waiting for the traffic to drop and then they’re on their way.”

His tone was neutral but he was suppressing some strong emotion. Bella couldn’t tell if it was excitement or fear. He squashed the cork back into the neck of the bottle. Bella put her brimming glass down carefully on the bedside table.

“How long will they be gone for?”

“Just ‘til Sunday night.”

Jake had been staring downwards but now he looked up and directly at her. His face was pale but his jaw was set. She waited with a sinking heart for what she was sure was coming.

“This is our chance, Bella. We’ll never have another chance like it. Don’t you see? We’ve got to take this time to – to – “

He trailed off.

Bella said, against a rising tide of nausea ‘so what exactly is it that you want me to do?”

“I don’t know,” said Jake, suddenly sober. “I think I just need to – to know if – to see it. It. Again. I think seeing it will mean – will mean that I’ll be able to do what I have to do.”

Bella didn’t ask what he meant. She reached for her wineglass again and gulped, desperate for warmth and oblivion. How could this be happening, she asked herself, in increasing despair. It can’t be happening. I can’t really be sitting in bed with my boyfriend and listening to him talk about digging up a dead body. It can’t be true. She looked at Jake’s hands, lying limply in his lap as he sat twisted sideways on the edge of the bed. Those hands have buried someone, she thought, and felt a shudder convulse her. More wine splashed onto the coverlet.

“Easy, easy.” Jake rescued her glass. “Why don’t you lie down and keep warm. Don’t worry, Bel. I’ll take care of you. I just need you to be here for me, like you’ve always been here for me. Can’t you do that for me? Can you do just that one thing?”

Bella sighed. She lay back against the pillows, curling herself inwards for warmth, slotting her cold hands between her thighs.

“I’m here,” she said, her words muffled by the pillow. “I’m always here for you, Jake.”

“I know that, darling.” He put a warm hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. “You’re always here for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He kicked off his trousers and got into bed with her, and held her in the dim light of the bedroom, one hand stroking the hair back from her head.

“Shhh,” he whispered and for some reason, Bella found herself shuddering again. She buried her face in his shoulder. Jake pulled her close and for the first time in over a week, she could feel him begin to grow hard against her. She gave a gasp that was almost a sob.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered. “It’ll all be over soon.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Bella opened her eyes the next morning to darkness. The clocks had gone back the weekend before and now, at five am, the room was black as pitch, the air icy. Darkness pressed down on her. She shut her eyes again and pulled the duvet up over her cold face. What seemed like an acre of chilly cotton lay between her and Jake, marooned in his own little oasis of warmth over on the other side of the bed. Bella shivered. She pushed one freezing foot over to him and slid it gently under his leg, sighing at the warmth. Soon, the radiators began to crackle and hum as the central heating slowly warmed the house. Bella lay in blank-eyed wakefulness, waiting for it to be day.