I stare up at him to keep myself from looking again at Eliza and Brad. Neil is staring at something across the room. There is a sudden internally contained tension that he didn’t have before.

I look over my shoulder. That must be Andy. Neil’s friend-enemy. There is something very odd in the way Andy is taking stock of me and staring at his friend.

I turn back to find Neil’s eyes on me. I don’t know what he sees on my face, but his expression softens. He leans into me. “You are not enjoying this at all, are you, Chris?” He frowns. “You don’t like to kiss and you don’t like to dance. You are a very strange girl. You don’t like this at all.”

I flush. This guy can see just enough, but not too much. He can’t see the part where I grew smaller and smaller because some jerk that dumped me doesn’t care that I am here with another guy.

Tears threaten behind my eyelids. I sway into Neil.

“Hey! Are you OK?” He sounds genuinely concerned.

I nod. He steadies me with his hands, his body moving in a matching rhythm with mine and he takes more care that people don’t crash into me. I look once away and then back at him.

He scrunches his nose. “Not helping, is it?”

I shake my head.

“I’ve got an idea.” Quickly he puts his drink down. Before I know what he is doing he’s lifting me from the floor until my arms are on his shoulders and my thighs against his chest. “Do you know what they do in Europe? They don’t crash into each other like we do in America. They bounce. Do you want to bounce, Chris?” He makes a hop. God, this is embarrassing. People don’t bounce in downtown clubs in Santa Barbara. I make a move with my hands to put me down, but Neil doesn’t. The look in his eyes changes into something sweet and gentle and kind. Jeez, this guy has beautiful eyes. I feel them all through my limbs. Another bounce. “Do you want me to make you bounce, Chris?”

That is said sweetly, teasing. I start to laugh and his arms tighten their hold of my body against him as he continues to bounce on the beat. God, this guy is so hot. I didn’t notice how hot until he started to laugh and smile. I feel my heart accelerate.

Josh lifts up Rene, and we are bouncing and laughing. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Eliza watching, and she looks really irritated.

Neil bounces me until the end of the next set, and I love it even though Rene and I are the only girls being bounced.

The music stops and I can hear thumping on wooden stairs as the band rushes off stage to the dressing room outside of Les’s office. Neil is still holding me off the floor, but I am being lowered down to earth in front of him.

“Why don’t we bounce, Chris?” His mouth is against my neck, stirring the sensitive flesh beneath my ear, no longer playful. “Let’s go back to my place.”

Jeez, when did this change from being a favor between two strangers to Neil thinking I’d go home with him? I look frantically around the bar, but Rene is nowhere to be found. Somehow she’s already disappeared with Josh. Crap, she’s just left me alone in this.

I bite my lower lip. “I need to find Rene. I need to go.”

He stares down at me, then shrugs and puts an arm around me holding me in a casual, friendly way. “Come on. We’ll go talk to the band for a while. Give Rene and Josh a few moments, if you follow my drift.”

I follow him up the stairs. There is security at the top of the stairs and Neil leans in to say something. The big, burly bouncer smiles at me.

We’re let into the private party and I can’t help but look to see if Eliza is watching. She is staring and furious. She starts moving toward me. Oh, crap. I realize why she invited me to Peppers tonight. She wanted Jack’s daughter to get her into the private party that Daddy’s money couldn’t seem to do. I push my body against Neil, hoping he’ll hurry before Eliza catches me. I don’t care about this band, this party, but Eliza does and it is enough to make me walk through the door.

* * *

The minute I’m in the room I want to get out. The upstairs private party is not my type of scene. The tiny room is packed. Neil has my hand and starts to pull me through the bodies. There is a raw kind of energy all around me. The girls here are not pretty girls. They are the other kind of girls that I never seem to fit in with, the fringe, wild, counterculture types. They are snorting lines of coke off a table, laughing, kissing, touching.

Everyone is wired, into the moment, and I know I look different, that I am different from them in my oh so Santa Barbara UGG boots and Saks Fifth Avenue mini skirt, and the one carat diamond studs in my ears that I never think about, but for some reason I remember them now.

A few feet from the singer, Neil says, “Wait here.”

I stand alone in the room feeling strange and out of place without Neil beside me. My frantic gaze locks on Neil talking with the band. They talk, smile, laugh, and then talk some more and I’m wondering if he’s going to leave me here alone forever when Neil takes my hand and pulls me into the conversation. The band is really nice, kind and friendly and for some reason really inclusive in the way they talk to me. They instantly engage me in conversation and seem really interested in what I have to say, not at all like the guys at school.

As we talk I see flashes. Someone is taking pictures and the last thing I need is a picture of me with this crowd making the rounds. I look around frantically trying to find the camera. Then I see the girl on the couch with the Polaroid and I feel foolish for being paranoid. I steady my breathing and tell Neil I have to go.

The club is empty as we walk out the back entrance. The windows to my dad’s car are all steamed up and I can see Rene and Josh in the back seat. Jeez, Rene, in my dad’s car? Did you really just screw a guy you met in a bar in my dad’s car?

“Hey Josh. Let’s roll,” Neil shouts.

I stop a few cars away. “Thanks, Neil. You’ve been a really cool guy tonight.”

He smiles and it’s sort of like he’s disconcerted, not knowing how he should deal with me.

“It’s been OK, Chris. I had fun with you tonight. If you’re ever in Seattle look me up. Maybe we can hang out sometime.”

I brace myself. “Maybe I should give you my number in case you come back to Santa Barbara this summer.”

Neil’s smiles at me quizzically. I feel instantly stupid. If the guy wanted my number he’d have asked for it.

“I leave next week on a six month tour. I don’t plan to be back in Santa Barbara.”

God, why did I have to offer him my number?

Josh and Rene climb out of the car. She starts giving him her number and I wonder if it’s her real number, if she gives her real number to guys she screws in parking lots.

All and all, it hasn’t been a completely disastrous night. I’m feeling kind of OK even though Neil did give me the brush off. I sink into the driver’s seat and wait for Rene to climb in.

I turn the ignition and put the car in gear. There’s a tap on my window. I roll it down. Neil says, “Drive carefully. You’ve had a few drinks. Not enough to be legally drunk, but they could pick you up anyway.”

I nod. That was a really sweet thing to say. “I’ll take it really, really slow.”

Neil laughs at the really, really. He turns to leave and then pauses. It’s almost like he’s debating with himself. His fingers curl over the top of my open window. “Hey, I know I’m just some guy you just met, but nice girls with rich, famous daddies shouldn’t be in bars trying to play games with guys like me. The guys you meet in bars play cruel games that hurt. Fuck! Didn’t Daddy teach you anything about how the world works?”

Oh crap! I know, I suddenly know. “You used me. You were a cool guy so you could use me to get into the party.”

I’m furious now.

He shrugs.

“Everyone uses everyone, Christian Parker.”