I don’t know how I manage to pull off this ruse with such a believable, accusatory tone, since I know Rene did snake the weed and lift my cash. I also know that my cash will mysteriously reappear without me ever saying anything because it’s only a temporary lapse for her to steal from me. Jimmy Stallworth is pretty much out of luck where his weed is concerned.

“We were talking about my weed,” Jimmy reminds in heavy frustration.

“And I was talking about my cash.”

“Are you accusing me of stealing?” Jimmy yells heatedly. “You fucking rich girls never give a shit about who you shit on. It’s your fucked up friend who light fingers everything she sees. Don’t think I didn’t see her lift the glasses at the club.”

“Sorry. I can’t help you.”

“When will Rene be back? Listen, I’m in a tough spot here.”

“I don’t know when she’ll be back.”

“Shit.”

Silence. I wait for Jimmy Stallworth to slam down the phone. But nothing. Silence. Frowning, I listen to him breathe into the receiver.

“So what are you doing tonight?”

I stare at the receiver, mystified. “Talking to you. Then forgetting about you. Then going to sleep.”

“Listen, I’m not pissed at you. I’m just in a tough spot here.” More silence. “I’m heading down to CBGBs with Richard and Victor. You remember them from The Blue Light, don’t you?”

Why is he telling me this? “I remember.”

“Hit us up there if you want to.”

OK, that was a strange turn in the conversation and my internal turn was even stranger. Why am I considering it? Rene would be pissed if I took off with Jimmy Stallworth without her, and he did just threaten me and accuse Rene of stealing.

“I really like Rene,” he breathes into the phone.

I roll my eyes. Not this again. What is it about Rene that she can totally shit on a guy and still have them on the hook?

Jimmy lets out a ragged sigh. “It was there and then not, and she was the only person in my room. Fuck, I don’t know what to think now. You should meet up with us if you want to.”

It is truly amazing how desperate having no one to hang with can make you. Am I really considering going to CBGBs to try to console Jimmy Stallworth over Rene? Crud…

“What time do you guys think you’ll hit the door?” I ask.

“Richard and Victor are already in line. I just took off to call Rene. I really like her. Why does she have to be such a bitch?”

I hang up the phone without committing to anything. I start to compile in my head a list of things that would be smarter to do than going to CBGBs with Jimmy Stallworth. I’m up to ten and I sit on the floor in front of Rene’s clothes to see what she left to lighten her suitcase for DC. I settle on a backless, black, glittery halter top and Italian leather spike heel shoes.

In the car to CBGBs I stop questioning myself about why I decided to go. As pathetic as it is, I don’t want to be alone in the apartment; I don’t have anyone to call; I don’t have anywhere to go; and I don’t have anyone to be with.

It’s nearly midnight and it’s packed even on a Tuesday night. There is a long line down the street waiting to get in, and I scan the crowd trying to see if I can see Jimmy and his friends.

My car pulls over at the front door on Bowery, and David springs out and around the car to open my door.

“Are you meeting someone inside, Miss Parker? I can give their name at the door.”

I shake my head. I spot Jimmy Stallworth about thirty bodies deep in the line. “It’s OK, David. I see my friends.”

My blond Nordic protector doesn’t look at all confident about leaving me here. He steps back. “I’ll be waiting there, Miss Parker.” He points at a spot across the street as if I need a visual aid. “I’ll pull up to the door when I see you. Don’t come to me.”

To keep my hands warm, I shove them deeply into the pockets of Jack’s scarred leather bomber jacket as Victor calls out to me, though I make a point of not smiling, and fix my eyes on Jimmy.

He’s leaning casually against the concrete wall, smoking, and I can see why Rene is attracted to him even though he’s a total loser. His smile of perfect white teeth accentuates a face that’s a little James Dean edgy and lost. Dark haired, dark eyed. I suppose there are some girls who’d find the black t-shirt, jeans and biker boots tough-guy look appealing, even if the slogan on his shirt does say Fuck the Free World.

Richard and Victor, on the other hand, I am certain are complete dorks. That crappy clothes, I don’t care about trends sort of grunge thing only works if you’ve had a hard life or are interesting. But these are uptown NYU boys, posers for the evening, wanting to keep up with Jimmy Stallworth, and have neither a hard life nor are interesting. Total dorks. I didn’t see that at The Blue Light, but then again I was pretty drunk.

Jimmy takes a long drag of his cigarette and watches me over the plume of smoke. “You showed up. I wasn’t expecting you to.”

I shrug. “Why are you waiting in line? It’s freezing out here.”

“It’s packed. Supposed to be on the list, but someone screwed up,” Victor informs me.

Jimmy looks me over carefully piece by piece. “You get us into the club tonight, I’ll call it even on the weed Rene stole.”

Oh shit…“What?”

Victor shrugs. “How did you get into The Blue light? You know, they don’t just let anyone in. You have to be on the list or you stand in a fucking line going nowhere.”

How could I have been so stupid as to come here? “The only reason you asked me down here was to get you into the club,” I hurl in disbelief.

Jimmy shrugs. “I’ve got someone in there I’ve got to see. Tonight. I’ve got to make some cash to make up for Rene fucking me over. You owe me.”

“I don’t owe you anything.”

I turn to walk back to the door so that David can spot me and bring the car around.

Jimmy catches up to me, grabbing my arm, and I don’t quite know what to make of his facial expression. “Listen, I could use your help. It’s nothing to you. It’s everything to me. I’m just asking you to get me into the club, then we’ll call it even and I’ll be on my way.”

I stare at him. Damn Rene and her messes. And damn Jimmy Stallworth.

“I’ll forgive everything she owes me,” he adds. “The weed. The six large for the coke and the pills.”

Jeez, in under a week Rene ran up quite a tab in New York. I would have paid off Jimmy Stallworth right then and there, and told him never to come around Rene again, if Rene hadn’t stolen my cash. I exhale a harsh breath. “Everything?”

“Everything.”

“And you’ll stay away while we’re in New York. I mean, you won’t sell to her ever again.”

Jimmy stares at me, insultingly amused. “Your friend does a lot of drugs. Getting rid of me won’t help her, and I don’t think it’s necessary to point out again that she stole from me. But you can consider me gone after tonight if you do me this solid.”

I work my way past the line of agitated, waiting New Yorkers, face averted downward, with Jimmy Stallworth following. I’m hardly able to believe I’m about to crash the door at a New York rocker club so a New York drug dealer can finish a deal, all because Rene ripped off the wrong guy and I was desperate enough to come here.

“Wait here or I won’t do it,” I tell Jimmy a few feet from the door.

“Don’t even think to try to ditch me out here,” Jimmy warns.

I roll my eyes. The tough guy routine is really getting old. He may be a thug, but I don’t think he’s dangerous, and David my blond Nordic driver could kick the shit out of him without breaking a sweat if I called for him.

There is a pretty brunette in a sequined mini dress haranguing the bouncer with the list, and there’s altogether too much jostling near the entrance. Pushing through the crowd is an effort, getting the bouncer’s attention more effort, and the way he looks at me not worth the effort of acknowledging.