“I’m not looking for mercy,” she said, standing up because she’d finally decided. “I’m not looking for grace or forgiveness or love or rosy sunsets. Those things belong in a different world than this one. But I want the truth, and I think I might be able to find it. And I want to heal, and I’ll never even start unless I can dig down deep, to the very first wound. For that, I need real answers.”

Her mother looked surprised and a little confused, and she stood up so she was on a level with her daughter. “If you tell Caleb the truth, you’ll never get any answers. You’ll never get anywhere at all.”

“I know that. I’m not going to tell him the truth.” She felt full of confidence now, direction, a bleak sort of peace. Full of anger and heartbreak and grief. “Not that truth, anyway. I’m going to go back to him. I’d rather be all the way broken—if it means that one day I might be whole—than keep living this half-broken life forever.”

“So you are going to go back? You are going to do what we planned?”

“I’m going to find out the truth.”

“Even if it means breaking him?”

“Even if it means breaking myself.”

—

That evening Kelly and Reese were watching TV again, and Kelly was trying to come up with a way to go back to Caleb.

She’d crushed him a couple of days ago, and he might not want to forgive her. He might not want to take her back.

But, if she was ever going to get to the truth, she needed to figure out some way to reconcile with him.

She’d come up with nothing but a lot of silly ideas that would never work when there was a knock on the door.

Reese got up to look through the peephole. She came back to the couch with the strangest expression. “I think it’s for you.”

Frowning, Kelly got up and went to look, then understood the reason for Reese’s strange expression.

It was Caleb. Standing right outside the door.

Kelly froze in a moment of pure terror, but took a few breaths, and centered herself. She hadn’t conjured him with her thoughts. He just happened to have chosen this moment to turn up.

Kelly opened the door, feeling sloppy and unattractive in her faded jeans and white T-shirt, with bare feet, no makeup, and her hair pulled up messily with a clip at the back of her head.

Caleb was standing in the hallway, calm and composed. He looked characteristically handsome and sophisticated in another one of his business suits. He’d probably come over after work.

“Hi,” he said softly.

Kelly glanced at the floor, then back up at him quickly, trying to think but only aware of a wash of pleasure, comfort, and excitement at his presence. “Hi.”

“I know you said you needed some space,” he murmured, his expression revealing nothing but a questioning mildness, as if he was reining in all of his powerful feelings. “But you said maybe we could work it out later, and I was hoping that later could be now.”

Her heart started to hammer as she realized that he wanted her back. He’d made a step here that she’d never expected him to make—putting aside his pride and resentment to come to her.

It made things easier for her, in one way. And so much harder, in another. This was what she’d needed to happen, but it was also concrete evidence that Caleb felt for her so much more than she’d ever believed was possible.

He had fallen for her. All the way. So much so that he had changed.

She nodded. “Now is okay. I was thinking about—I was trying to figure out a way to see you again myself.”

Caleb’s eyes softened in what might have been relief, but the expression was so fleeting it was hard to pin down. Kelly glanced back at Reese, who was sitting on the couch, watching them with open curiosity.

Kelly cleared her throat. “Maybe we can take a walk.”

“Sounds good to me.”

She put her shoes on, waved at Reese, and then closed the apartment door behind her. They stood in the middle of the hall, staring self-consciously at each other. Until finally Kelly said, “How did you know I was here?”

Caleb raised an eyebrow, answering her without words.

“Right,” she said, realizing the answer to her own question. “You have a team who is very good at locating people. Have you been having me followed this whole time?” As she asked the question, she felt a little tremble of fear.

“No. I was angry at first, and I thought I would just let you go,” Caleb explained, nothing emotional or dramatic in his voice or on his face. He started to walk down the hall, so she fell in step with him. “But then I discovered that I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t what?” Her mind was aching, trying to find the right words to say to him.

“Couldn’t let you go.” He stepped into the elevator and watched her as she followed. He didn’t look at all upset, and his hands, his fingers, were relaxed at his sides.

“Oh,” was all she could think of to say.

“I’m not trying to rush you. I would just like to know if there’s even any hope.”

Despite his cool composure, Kelly knew exactly how hard that had been for him to say. It went against his nature—against the way he’d learned to deal with the world—to make himself vulnerable enough to even ask for hope.

She wished she could reward him, give him some sort of consolation. But there was far too much going on here. “Hope?” she asked faintly, still stalling for the right words.

For the first time, Caleb’s face twisted just slightly. “So you don’t think there is any? I thought you said you were thinking about talking to me.”

“I was. But, to tell you the truth, I don’t really know what to hope for. Everything seems to be so—so twisted up between us. I know it’s my fault,” she added hurriedly, since he wouldn’t know most of what had twisted things. “And all my mess from—from my past. But still, I don’t know.”

The elevator had reached the ground floor, and they both got off. They stood facing each other in the lobby.

“I know it was all too messy,” Caleb replied, his voice a little bit thicker. “But I don’t think it has to be. You feel the same way I do. I know you do. The last time we were together…meant something. You can’t pretend that it didn’t.”

He looked so different than she was used to seeing him, and it wasn’t just the setting. In some inexplicable way, he’d lost some of his impenetrability. Some of his untouchable distance.

It wasn’t that he looked tender or sappy or loving or weak.

But, at the moment, he looked almost young.

Closing her eyes, she said, the words nearly a plea, “Caleb, it did. I do. But it’s so much more complicated than that, for me.”

If she were smart, she wouldn’t be putting up any resistance. She knew she needed to get back together with Caleb, if she ever hoped to uncover the truth, so none of this was helping her agenda.

But she had to be honest with him. As honest as she possibly could.

He took a step closer to her but didn’t move to touch her. “It’s complicated for me too. I know I’m not the man you might want me to be, for a serious relationship. But I want you so much, I don’t care. I want you, Kelly, and I can try to change, if you need me to. All of me is yours.”

She was almost choking as she heard the words, which touched the deepest desires of her heart. She swayed on her feet.

Caleb raised a hand and cupped her cheek. “Are you going to faint?”

She shook with amusement, just on the edge of grief. “I don’t think so.”

“Well, you might consider it.” The corner of his mouth twitched and his eyebrows slanted up in irrepressible irony. “This is my grand, dramatic gesture, and it would be nice to have such a profound response from you for my efforts.”

Kelly laughed for real, and then she couldn’t seem to stop. After a minute, it mingled with tears, and he pulled her into his arms so she half laughed, half sobbed against his chest.

Eventually, she got herself under control and was able to straighten up. He loosened his arms, but his hands still rested on her hips.