“Yes. Hit me.” He gestures at his chest. “Give it your best shot.”

I frown. “I’m not going to hit you.”

“Why not?” He bends at the waist a little, getting his head more level with mine.

“Because . . . I don’t like hitting people.”

“What about people who are getting ready to hit you?” He reaches over and grabs a stick from a nearby table and holds it up. “You like to hit them?”

“If you hit me with that stick, you’re going to be very sorry.” My hand slides slowly down into my purse. I’m not exactly panicked right now, because I feel confident that Dev is a nice guy and he’s just messing around, but that doesn’t mean I won’t taze his stupid ass if he hits me with that weapon. What kind of welcoming committee is this, anyway? I was kind of expecting coffee and donuts, not whacks with a stick.

He smiles. “Good. She’s got attitude. I like it.” He moves forward.

“I’m not kidding, Dev.” I take a step back. He looks serious, but he can’t be, right? I look around at everyone else, and they’re watching us closely. None of them looks distressed or amused. This is business to them.

He moves quicker than I expect; two strides has him right in front of me. The stick goes up.

I cower down as it descends, closing my eyes and bracing for impact. Please don’t hit me, please don’t hit me, please don’t hit me.

It stops just next to my arm, and I open one eye first to make sure it’s okay.

“You’re not moving,” he says. He looks frustrated.

Now both of my eyes are open, and I’m standing straight. “No, I’m not. I’m hoping this is all going to stop very soon.”

Toni snorts.

I catch the mocking expression on her face, and it instantly gets me all fired up.

Forget this cowardly lion act. What the hell, man. I didn’t come here to get hit with a stick. Who does he think he is, standing there threatening me like that? Does he know I had lobster with the boss two days ago and shared a hot kiss on my doorstep?

Dev moves in closer. “This isn’t going to stop until you see how serious it is.”

“Okaaaay.” I look up into his eyes, my finger flipping the safety button off on my Taser inside my purse. Bastard. Making me use my Taser. These cartridges are expensive. I know because I had to replace one when I accidentally shot myself in the foot one time. Getting tazed is also painful as all hell, so he’s definitely not going to be happy with me after.

“Now listen up, Little Bo Peep . . . I’m going to hit you with this stick unless you do something to defend yourself.” He’s looking down at me with pity in his eyes. Everyone else is dead silent. “This isn’t a game. We play to live. That’s how it works. Slackers get injured, and I won’t have that happening when I’m in charge.”

“I really wish you wouldn’t do this,” I say, sounding as weak as possible. Part of it is an act, and part of it is really how I feel. Being a badass has never been part of my repertoire. I hate that I’m being pushed into this. Why is this happening on my first day? This is the worst orientation day I’ve ever had.

“I’ll try not to leave too big of a bruise.” The stick goes up, almost above his head and starts its descent. This time I’m sure he’s not going to stop.

I jerk my hand out of my purse and shove the Taser toward his chest. Some kind of crazy war cry leaves my lips as I cringe and wait for the pain to come from the stick. “Awwwoooooahhh!”

My whole body clenches up and my finger squeezes the trigger on the Taser. The prongs fire out of the end of it, and all hell breaks loose.

Dev’s eyes bug out of his head.

He drops the stick and it clatters on the ground near our feet.

The rat-tat-tat-tat-tat of several thousand volts of electricity makes a nice beat for the convulsions that start to rack his body a few seconds later.

“What the hell is going on down here!” yells Ozzie from the top of the stairs.

“Holy shit, she tazed him!” Lucky’s stuck in a daze of confusion.

Dev grunts, his eyes roll back in his head, and he starts to go down.

I jump to the side to avoid getting squashed. The wires coming out of the end of my Taser stretch right along with me.

Lucky leans over and grabs Dev’s arm to slow his descent.

Both of them fall into a heap on the ground, Dev on top of his stupid stick, Lucky on top of Dev, who’s groaning like a wounded elephant, and my wires tangled up with both of them.

I hug my purse to my chest, my Taser in one hand, my keys in the other.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it! She actually tazed his ass!” Toni starts to laugh.

“That ain’t funny, man.” Thibault is shaking his head, first looking at Dev and then at me.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” I can barely get the words out, I’m so embarrassed. I feel terrible. “The trigger was way more sensitive than I expected it to be.” I should probably get it checked. Two accidental Taserings can’t be good. I swear I wasn’t really going to taze him. I was planning to just scare him into not hitting me. Dammit.

Lucky gets up and rolls Dev onto his back. The wires are still connecting him to my gun. Yep, the barbs are definitely in his skin, not just his clothes. Oops.

“Why in the hell is Dev lying on the ground with Taser barbs in his chest?” Ozzie is standing a few feet away with his hands on his hips.

“We were giving her an intro,” Toni says, “just like you told us to.”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t tell anyone to get her so fired up she’d shoot Dev.” He scrubs at the back of his head. “You all right, man?”

Dev tries to answer, but the only things that will come out are grunts and groans. His eyes roll up into his head.

“Ozzie, I’m sorry.” I can look at his chin. Not his eyes, but his chin. It’s close enough that probably no one will notice I’m a chicken. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

His words come out as a growl. “Don’t you apologize.” He glares at Thibault. “You’re the one who should be talking right now.”

“All right, fine, fine. I take full responsibility.” Thibault has his hands up in surrender. “We talked about it before she got here and decided we’d just see if she had any self-defense instincts.”

“And what have you decided after your little experiment?” Ozzie looks at each person individually.

Toni shrugs. “I’d say she passed.” She turns away so Ozzie won’t see her smiling.

“I think we probably should have come at this from another angle,” says Lucky.

“Oh, you think?” Ozzie gestures at Dev. “Get him up, and get those damn barbs out of his chest. And if he whines, slap him in the head.”

“You got it, boss.” Lucky braces his legs to help Dev to his feet. After a few stumbles, they’re both standing, Lucky with his arm under Dev’s shoulder to give him support. After I remove the cartridge from my Taser and give it to Lucky, they begin to walk away, but stop after a few steps. Dev turns his head and speaks over his shoulder. His words are a little slurred.

“I wanna re-mash. She trick’t me.”

Ozzie growls. “Bullshit, she tricked you. She got one over on you. Big difference.”

I could swear I hear pride in Ozzie’s voice, but I’m not going to let it go to my head. I feel terrible. I can’t think of a worse way to start off my new job. Dev is never going to forgive me.

Ozzie jabs his thumb at the stairs. “When you’re done goofing around out here, we have a meeting upstairs that needs to happen.”

“No better time than the present.” Toni holds up her hand as she walks by. “High-five, sister. Well played.”

I reach up and slap her hand delicately. I don’t want to look too enthusiastic about putting holes in Dev’s chest and shooting him up with all those volts.

Thibault comes over and stops in front of me. “You mind if I take that from you?” He holds out his hand and looks down at my cartridgeless weapon.

I put the Taser in his palm. “Sure. Sorry about shooting your friend.”