Quick! Evasion tactics, engage!

“I, uh, didn’t bring my workout clothes.”

“That’s all right. We have some for you.” He points to a locker. “In there. Get changed. I’ll be back in five.”

And with that, he leaves me in the warehouse alone to work myself up into a righteous panic. I don’t know how I’m going to watch his muscles bulge and not throw myself at him. This is going to be a total test of willpower.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Turns out, it’s not such a hard test of my willpower to keep my hands off Ozzie while we work out together. The minute he starts making me strain and grunt to press things with my legs and lift some stupid dumbbells up into the air, all his attractive qualities take a back seat to his military hardheaded unattractiveness. I’m surprised he didn’t trade his beard in for a tiny, square mustache.

“Give me one more!” he yells. “Come on! Push it out!”

“Errrrrgh!” I know someone who won’t be invited to the birth of my first child. Push it out, my ass.

“One more. Come on—you can do it. Push it!”

“I already did one more!” I huff and puff as the weights dangle from my limp arms. Everything burns. Everything. Even my butt muscles are on fire.

“You aren’t tapped out. Come on—I see one more in your eyes. Lift.”

“What you see in my eyes is a death threat.” I try to lift the weights anyway. Mainly because the door at the top of the stairs just opened, and Dev is coming down. I’m afraid if he sees any weakness in me, he’ll come after me twice as hard once he’s recuperated, which rumor says will be tomorrow. He has a decidedly springy step right now.

“Come on, lift!” Ozzie shouts in my face.

“Get away from me!” I shout-grunt as my arms start to go up. I’d kick him if I could, but I need to focus all my potential energy on my biceps. My body is slowly bending backward, trying to compensate for my lack of arm strength.

“Bad form! Stand up straight!”

More sweat droplets pop out on my face as I stop bending and try to use just my arms to get the twenty pounds up past my belly button.

“I can’t . . . I can’t . . .”

He puts a single finger under each dumbbell. “Here, I’ll help.”

I want to scream at his ridiculous offer of so-called help, but I can’t. I have no extra energy for anything. I’m so afraid I’m going to toot; I have my butt cheeks squeezed together as tight as they’ll go, and that leaves very little extra strength for lifting these twenty-pound weights up to my shoulders for the twelfth time.

“Eeeerrrrrr!”

“That’s it!” he yells. “You got this!”

Dev stops when he’s next to Ozzie and nods. “You got this. You got it.”

My muscles are crying, begging me to stop, but I keep forcing them to perform anyway, because if I don’t, I’ll leave here with my head hung in shame. I know everyone at BSB gives this training everything they’ve got, and I can’t be Bo Peep forever. My arms are trembling with my effort. Please don’t let me toot, please don’t let me toot.

The weights finally obey my command and reach the apex of the upper swing. Ozzie grabs them from my hands and lifts them away from me like they’re made of feathers, releasing me from the prison that is his workout. My arms feel like they’re going to float right up into the atmosphere with all the heaviness gone. Then when I drop them to my sides they feel like they have fifty-pound weights tied to the wrists.

“That’s good for your first day,” he says, placing the weights on a rack with several others of various poundage.

Thank God, I can finally unclench my butt cheeks now that the threat of accidental tootage has passed. Bending over, I rest my hands on my knees. Sweat follows the law of gravity and drips up my face and goes into my eyes. Wow, that stings. I stand and try to blink the pain away. I’m sure it looks like I’m crying, but I’m too tired to wipe the sweat away.

“Tough workout?” Dev asks. He looks like he’s barely holding in his laughter.

“Pretty tough.” I shrug, noticing how much effort it takes to lift shoulders that no longer have any strength left in them. I eye my car, wondering if I’m going to be able to drive it now. That stick shift is going to be a problem. Maybe I can call a cab without anyone noticing. I wish I hadn’t bought such a brightly painted car. No way are they going to miss it being left overnight in the corner of their warehouse.

Ozzie pats me on the shoulder. “We’ll give you one day off and then start again Wednesday.”

I flick some sweat off my temple with a trembling finger. “No need to wait. I can go again tomorrow.” This whole badass thing is coming from deep down inside my most primitive self. I’m pretty sure there’s a bucketload of adrenaline coursing through my veins, released from the feelings I was just having a few minutes ago that I was going to die from weight lifting.

“We’ll see how you feel tomorrow.” Dev claps me on the back and then pulls his hand away in disgust when he realizes how wet it is now.

Ozzie’s all business again. “Tomorrow I need you to go in the van with Toni and Thibault and see what you can do about setting up over there.”

“Operation Ugly Beard?” I ask.

Dev laughs and then stops immediately when Ozzie glares at him.

“Harley,” Ozzie says. “It’s Harley, not ugly beard.”

I mumble under my breath as I pick up my sweaty towel. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Oh man.” Dev is smiling, rubbing his hands together. “I can’t wait for our next workout.”

His happiness is infectious. “Oh, yeah?” I wipe my face and neck off with the towel, trying not to cringe at how gross it is. It smells like metal. “How come?”

“Because, you’ve got a lot of piss and vinegar. I think I’m going to enjoy breaking you.”

I snort. “Yeah, right. Whatever.” I’m talking tough, but I’m actually on the verge of crying. Why am I setting myself up as a challenge to the team’s personal trainer? I never saw myself as a glutton for punishment before, but now I’m starting to wonder how well I actually know myself. This place has either revealed my true self or turned me into someone else altogether. In one day. What the hell.

My phone beeps and I pick it up off the weight bench to see who it is. Jenny. She’s left me a text that I can’t ignore.

Sis: Please call asap. Sammy sick and I’m stuck.

Stuck could mean anything with her; she could be without a babysitter or locked in the bathroom, knowing my sister.

“Am I done here, or is there something else you want me to do?” I ask Ozzie.

“Nah, you’re good. Just come back tomorrow by seven if you can. You need time to go through the equipment before you guys take off for the job.”

I nod, hoping if I come in that early, it also means I can leave earlier. Not that I’ll complain if I can’t. This place isn’t like any job I’ve ever had before. It’s much too . . . different. Casual. Like hanging out with a crazy family in a way. Family who likes to work out and do hand-to-hand combat. Crazy people. I find I kind of like crazy.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Dev asks me as we all start walking toward the stairs.

“Sure, what’s up?”

He stops and waits for Ozzie to get farther ahead. Turning to face me, his volume level drops. “Listen, I know you gave it your all today, so if you’re not up to another workout for a few days, all you have to do is say the word. You won’t lose any cred with any of us. We can see how hard you’re trying.”