It's then he’s pulling on my elbow, and the energy that flows from his touch, well, it nearly consumes me. The minute I turn, I’m digging deep, desperately trying to figure out how to protect my heart. I need to distance myself from him. I need to be cold, distant and unaffected by him. I simply need him to leave before it’s too late.

Finding my wavering courage, I swallow down the nerves, and push them away. “You said you were going to explain why you left so fast. Why not just tell me? What was so bad Micah, or so hard that would make you turned your back on me?”

“EL, IT’S JUST us now. Tell me what happened after I left? I’m dying here, knowing you were so sad and lonesome and it’s all because of me. You have to know it’s killing me, Elsa.”

Micah’s eyes are seeking and searching for any answers my face will give him.

Closing my eyes, I rub my hands together, seeking strength. “Micah, you destroyed me. I was so in love with you. You told me you loved me back, then poof, one day, with no real explanations, you were just gone.” I desperately need him to understand what I felt back then.

“I know, El. Matt was supposed to explain the things I couldn’t. I was weak, and the very idea of leaving you tore me up. Of course, I felt the same! I was so fucking in love with you. But, I made promises to my dad and he saw how close I was getting with you. He knew I was wavering on my decision to leave you.” The look on his face is pure agony as he expresses all of his pent up anger and regret. “He signed me up early. I had no choice, I had to leave.”

Hearing his heartfelt words I can’t help but fall to my knees. He’s just confirmed that I meant something to him. How is it even possible? His father is the reason I’ve lost it all? Him and oh God, is he telling me I could’ve been with him all this time? If that’s the truth, it means I could have had…no! We could have had our…baby.

Rocking back and forth on my knees, I hold my head, because it hurts too bad not to. The realization that we could have been a family all along cripples me. Micah sinks to his knees, joining me, and takes me in his arms. I don’t fight him, I can’t.

“After some time, I knew it was better not to interfere. I would wait and come back home someday to find you. I did just that, the first night back home. Went to your house, but your father had me believe you had no desire ever to see me again. That if you ever meant anything to me, I’d let you go, let you live your life.”

His body is trembling against mine and his eyes wince like he’s in pain. Seeing him this vulnerable and shaken, breaks me even more. The need to touch him is too powerful. I need to touch him in some way. Grasping his cheeks in my hands, I just let them rest there. Our eyes dance as years of lost moments dawn on us.

I’m in disbelief, like all of this is some sick joke. My laugh, if you can call it that, is reminiscent of an evil witch’s cackle. “I can’t believe this. All I’ve done is spent years thinking I meant nothing to you. That all I felt was a one-sided crush.”

His breathing hitches. “It’s not, and it never was.”

The way his baby blues command me, the way they speak to my soul, it’s all consuming. I have to ask him the one thing that’s bothered me for so long, and while we're being honest, I ask him as softly as I can.

“What happened with your father, Micah? Make me understand why you left the way you did.”

Micah’s moving us, so we’re stretched out on the floor against the foot of my bed. I’m intently listening to him fill in the blanks. It’s not a beautiful story, it’s more of him telling me how he was forced into fulfilling his father’s dream for him. At one time, following in the family’s footsteps was Micah’s dream, too. The minute it looked like Micah would choose me over the Air Force, it all changed. His father made the choice for him.

His father drilled it in his son’s head that I was a sixteen-year-old crush, a girl he would get over. I simply was not his future or his life. Micah told his story of being pulled in two separate directions. His love for me and his family traditions. His father won, he got his wish.

“Why could you not have both, Micah? This is what I don’t understand. Why not be with me and be in the Air Force? Why one or the other? Why so cut and dry?” This made no sense to me.

The sigh he lets out, signals more truth is coming. “You were a distraction for me, and my father clearly saw it, predicted it even. He insisted I enter the Air Force, with a clear head, and nothing left behind to mess with my mind. It failed, I never stopped thinking about you, the girl I met in high school. All bubbly, and sweet as hell, in this petite body. My pretty girl.” He says my nickname while running his hand tenderly down my cheek.

Listening to his words, and seeing the honest look he is giving me, I can’t help but melt into his arms. My sobs overtake me as he cups my face in his big hands. Micah doesn’t hesitate, he takes me into his lap and envelopes me in his arms like a blanket. I don’t pull back, instead I go willingly. All of these years of wanting his arms around me, I finally have it. And it’s everything I dreamed it would be.

I cry harder, grabbing his shirt as tight as I can. With my face in his neck, I let the years of sorrow escape. His smell is, so familiar. His body is leaner and stronger than it was five years ago, and he’s still handsome as hell. He’s matured with prominent cheekbones to his chiseled jawline. He looks more refined. He may not be mine anymore, but I need this moment with him. I need to grieve, and in doing so with him here, it’s comforting in some bizarre way.

His set of sobs, have him choking up as he says. “My world was not the same without you in it. My head was so messed up, you were becoming my reason to believe in love. I’m so sorry, Elsa. Please forgive me…for being a coward.” Kissing my forehead, he lets out a subtle sigh. “Forgive me for giving in to my father. I could have had both, I should have had both, my mistakes have cost me so much.”

There is tightness in my chest and, I’m fighting wanting to shout out to him how much his mistakes have cost us both.

“They cost me, you, knowing you have carried all of this pain with you all of these years. I’m such a selfish bastard.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck. Tears engulf us both, and I realize Liza was right. We both needed this moment, a moment to remember, reflect and maybe even forgive.

I lower the guard around my heart. “I’ve never stopped loving you Micah, you were my world. I was sixteen, but you were my being and my reason. Age had nothing to do with that.”

Pulling back, my eyes drift into those baby blues. Filled with clear, crystal tears. Before I lose my courage, I’m struggling to find my ability to speak. “Can I ask you something?”

Micah wipes my tears with his thumb, and lets out a relaxed sigh. “Of course you can, pretty girl,” he says with a smile.

His damn smile, oh my, it’s a killer. “Why Ace and not Micah?”

Pausing for a moment, his face masks a look of pain and regret. “You were no longer the one calling my name,” he eyes dart to my lips glistening with my tears, “my name was only yours to say. Coming from your lips was the only time I wanted to hear it. You were no longer with me, and I left that part of me with you. Ace was just a replacement, just like every girl since you has been.” With his admission, he’s searching my eyes for my reaction.

I continue to try to understand what he just said to me, trying to process it all. I’m fascinated, looking at his lips then his eyes, and I gasp at the enormity of their meaning. Our eyes hypnotized with appreciation, locked on one another, with seemingly not a care in the world. Caught up in the moment, I crush my lips to his. The salty taste of our tears melt on my tongue the minute my lips connect with his soft, wet ones. Another giant sob resonates throughout my body, only this time Micah moans, forcefully pulling me against his broad chest. The emotions pour out of each of us, can only be described as carnal. A desperate yearning we both escape in. I’ve lost all rational thoughts.