I could hear my mom upstairs, packing as she argued with my dad about whether or not I was ready to be on my own yet. “You’ve been here every minute since he came home,” Dad pointed out. “You know full well that he’ll be anything but alone after we leave.”

I mentally fist-pumped as I listened to Dad try to assure Mom that I wouldn’t have some sort of tragic accident after they got on the road back home. I was surprised Dad lasted this long without turning back toward the farm. In my twenty-five years, I couldn’t remember a single time when he’d stayed away from his chores for more than a day.

Their suitcase thumped on the stairs as Dad carried it down to load into the car. It was a subtle reminder that Dad wasn’t getting any younger and that he wasn’t as strong as he once was. Guilt consumed me, knowing that I wouldn’t be there to help him this winter.  Some of the guys teased me for still having chores when I wasn’t busy working, but I didn’t give a shit. Farm chores provided me a natural workout while keeping me humble. Dad had no problem telling me to shovel shit, and I doubted that’d ever change.

“Do you want me to come home with you?” I offered, more out of instinct than anything else. I still hadn’t been cleared to drive, but it didn’t feel right watching him go without him knowing that I was still willing to do what I could. I’d have to take it easy for another few weeks, but there had to be something I could do one-handed.

“What? So you can both annoy the hell out of me?” Dad scoffed. He came over and placed a firm hand on my shoulder. “Son, I appreciate the offer, but you’re no good to me in the state you’re in. You need to stay here and get better. Maybe after Christmas, you’ll be healed enough that you can help me out with some repairs that need to be made before spring.”

That made me feel completely worthless, even though that hadn’t been Dad’s intention. He’d been relying on me and I let him down. I knew he didn’t see it that way, but I did. If I hadn’t listened to Jason, I’d have been sitting my happy ass at home instead of lying on the ground, bleeding when Eric found me. I was the one who made the choice to go out that night and I hadn’t even had the chance to have a good time.

“Yeah, that’ll work,” I told him. I eased myself out of the recliner to walk them to the door. I still wasn’t moving well, but at least every breath or step wasn’t making me double over in pain any longer. I gave both of my parents a hug and kiss. “Drive safe and call me when you get home.”

“Who’s the parent here?” Dad chided, giving me a quick wink. “You’re a good man. Don’t you ever forget that.”

It didn’t take a genius to know what Dad was talking about. He may be old, but he wasn’t blind. He’d seen the way I’d been torn between giving my attention to Eric and Bryce when they were both in the same room. Rather than make either of them uncomfortable, I’d pulled away from both of them until I could figure out what in the fuck was going through my head. Hopefully, I’d have a moment of clarity once the house was quiet.

And with my parents gone, it was. For the first time since Eric flew home from Seattle, I was alone in the house. It was fan-fucking-tastic. And then Mason showed up. That man had the worst timing of anyone I’d ever known. I considered not answering the door when he rang the bell, but knew he’d crawl in a window if he had to.

“Hey, I was just getting ready to take a quick nap,” I told him. Truthfully, I just wanted to sit around and enjoy the quiet, but I figured a nap would be more likely to get Mason to leave. And yeah, I felt like a jerk because he’d never been anything other than an awesome friend, but I wanted to be alone. Without anyone bugging me. At all. For at least the next few hours.

“Oh, well I told Eric I’d swing by to see if you needed anything,” he told me. At least he didn’t try to make some bullshit excuse. “I’m guessing you’re all good.”

I looked around the house and then held out my arms as if to make sure I was still in one piece. “Yep, nothing amiss here,” I responded sarcastically. “Unless, of course, there’s a chunk missing out of my arm and I don’t know it because of the cast.”

“Quit being a jackass,” Mason scolded me. He walked around me and directly into the kitchen, where he started pulling out an assortment of lunch meat and cheese. Even though it hadn’t been long since Mom made breakfast, I eyed his sandwich as if I hadn’t eaten in days. “You want one?”

“Yeah, that’d be awesome,” I responded meekly. Not two minutes after telling him I didn’t need anything, the man was making me a sandwich. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. I think Sean’s trying to convince Eric to let me come over and sit with you every day when they’re working out, just so I can eat his food instead of ours.” That wouldn’t surprise me, since Mason ate more than just about anyone I knew. If he was awake, it wouldn’t be more than an hour before he was shoveling more food into his face. And he was still just as fit as the rest of us. Good genetics sucked when they weren’t yours.

Mason grabbed two bottles of water and balanced the two plates in his other hand. He handed mine over before taking a seat on the couch. Checking the time, I knew it wouldn’t be long before Jason, Eric, and Sean were done working out. My solitude was over almost as soon as it began. “Where’s the kid?”

It was weird seeing Mason without Asher. Since he’d quit playing, and subsequently given up the opportunity he’d been given to write for a sports website, the two of them were nearly inseparable. It was actually pretty fucking awesome to see how devoted he was to his son’s life. Asher might not have a conventional family, but he had more people who loved him than most kids could ever dream of having.

“Sean’s mom came into town and wanted to spend some time with him,” Mason said. He didn’t seem entirely pleased by that development, but I knew from talking to Sean that he was trying to make amends with his mom now that his parents were going through a bitter divorce. Apparently, she didn’t like being told to ostracize two of her children because they couldn’t live up to her future ex-husband’s high standards. Every time he and I talked about how difficult it was for him to forget about the past, I felt grateful to have two parents who loved and accepted me for who I am. “The past two times went well, so I decided to ask her if she’d mind watching him. I know you’re tired of always having people running through the house, so I figured I’d be a good man and fly solo today.”

“Way to make me sound like the asshole,” I grumbled. “And be honest, doesn’t it feel good to be able to get away and be an adult for once?” I couldn’t imagine having someone so dependent on me for everything. And it had to be even harder now that Asher was walking around and trying to get into every fucking thing he could.

Mason shrugged. “It’s not as bad as you’d think. He’s my little buddy. Although, I’m going to go broke if Sean keeps making me put a dollar in that fucking jar every time I swear around Ash.”

And that was the end of the conversation. Mason and I hadn’t spent much time together, so other than mundane shit, I had no clue what to say to him. We wound up sitting around watching movies until the front door opened and three sweaty guys barreled into the house.

I closed my eyes and listened to the three of them talk about their workout, wishing it was time for the doctors to clear me to do something. I was supposed to be with them, but instead I was sitting around doing nothing, letting the atrophy set in on my muscles a bit every day. Eric startled me when he stood behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “You doing good?”

That seemed to be a step up from ”Are you okay?” which was a question I could easily go the rest of my life without hearing again. I looked up at him and smiled as I nodded. I couldn’t speak around the lump in my throat, once again wishing I wasn’t so fucked up. Eric made me wish for things I’d never missed before. He made me wish he was asking me as his lover, not his roommate.