Every second Bryce took to consider my request seemed to drag on for an eternity. He rubbed at his eyebrows as if the situation was giving him a headache. “Okay.”

That single word felt like a concession more than agreement. He followed me back to the living room but didn’t take off his coat when he sat at the opposite end of the couch, as far from me as possible.

My mouth went dry as Bryce waited patiently for me to say what I’d asked him to hear before leaving. The words failed me as every nerve in my body began to short-circuit. I swallowed hard, wishing I had something to drink. With a deep breath, it was go time. I only hoped he’d reconsider walking away.

“I know I’ve been a miserable ass lately.” I ignored the choked laugh Bryce let escape his lips at my candor. “Honestly, there’s part of me that still can’t believe you came back after how I treated you the day I got home.”

Bryce surprised me by sliding closer on the couch and taking my hand. “I knew you weren’t lashing out at me,” he assured me.

“Don’t,” I chastised him. I knew what he was trying to do, but I didn’t want to be let off the hook. How I’d behaved wasn’t okay and I didn’t want him telling me it was. “I don’t want you pretending that how I’ve treated you is okay. You were trying to help me and I was an asshole.”

“Because you were hurting,” he said softly. “You didn’t want people hovering over you, but you knew you needed their help. I get it.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.” Rather than look into Bryce’s almost black eyes, I stared at the point where his hand rested over mine.

“No, but it’s not an unforgivable offense.” A shiver raced through my body at the cold and emptiness I felt when Bryce removed his hand from mine.

“Why do you keep doing that?” I scowled, hating that Bryce could be so calm about how I’d acted toward him.

“Plain and simple,” Bryce deadpanned, sitting up a bit straighter and leaning in toward me. Unconsciously, I mirrored his posture. “It’d be easy for me to blow up at you. I could rant and rave about what a selfish, miserable prick you’ve been, but that won’t do any good. I could remind you that you’re not the first person to go through this and won’t be the last, but that’d be insensitive of me.

“And believe me, Drew, I’ve thought about saying all of that and more. I haven’t given you space because I wanted to. I did it because it’s what you needed,” he informed me. I slumped back in my seat, unwilling to fight back because it was good to see that Bryce gave a damn, even if it was in his own fucked up way. “You needed time to sit here and stew about what you’d been through. And I knew, in doing that, you’d wind up pushing away everyone who tried to help you. It’s not an uncommon reaction, but it’s also not a healthy way to deal with it. So, I’m not going to scream at you because that’s exactly what you want. You realize that you fucked up and you want everyone to be pissed off at you about that. Well, I’m not going to let you win.”

He stood and I was sure this was it. He’d said what he needed to say and was going to walk away. I’m fairly certain I stopped breathing until I realized he was taking off his bulky winter coat to get comfortable. Even though I’d seen him plenty of times, it felt as though I were seeing him for the first time. My body stirred to life at the sight of him in a simple white T-shirt and faded jeans that I wanted to reach out and touch to see if they felt as soft as they looked. And then I’d run my hand up his chest, allowing myself to feel the stubble that he’d allowed to grow into a neatly trimmed beard. But I couldn’t allow myself to think about any of that right now, otherwise I’d be shoving him back on the couch, rutting around like a horny teenager.

“I also feel like I need to apologize for sending you mixed signals,” I continued before I lost my nerve. “I won’t insult you by assuming you haven’t seen the attention I’ve given Eric since he got home. It doesn’t make the situation any better, but ever since I opened my eyes and saw him standing there in my hospital room, it’s like something changed between us. I can’t tell you that’s gone away, but neither has how I feel about you.”

This time, Bryce pressed a finger to my lips to shut me up. “It’s okay,” he said, although I didn’t believe him.

If our roles had been reversed, I wouldn’t have been okay with him admitting to being interested in someone else. I’d have probably given him a hug as I walked him out, wishing him and the other guy a good life. One without me in it.

“I really don’t understand you,” I told him, leaning into his touch when he placed his hand against my cheek.

“I’m not asking you to pledge your undying love for me, Drew. The two of you have a bond most people can’t begin to understand,” he told me, sliding his hand around to the back of my neck. “You might have blacked out, but it doesn’t change the fact that he saved you. What you’re feeling is normal.”

“But it’s more than that,” I admitted. “I get what you’re saying, but it’d be dishonest of me to say that’s all it is between us.”

“And that’s okay,” Bryce promised me. “As long as we’re all honest with one another, there’s nothing wrong with not being exclusive.”

“There’s not?” The words sounded incredibly naïve and ignorant, but I couldn’t call them back.

“Hell no,” Bryce responded emphatically. “Hell, in a perverse way, I’m flattered.”

“You are?” God, if ever there was a time for a gag, it would have been then. That way I couldn’t respond with two word answers anymore.

“Hell yes! Eric’s gorgeous, so if you’re attracted to him and still want me, then I’ll take that as some sort of twisted compliment.” Bryce shifted and I couldn’t help but look down to find I wasn’t the only one a bit uncomfortable below the waist. “The only thing I ask is that we keep talking about what we’re thinking and feeling. If I get to a point where I’m not comfortable knowing I’m not the only one you’re spending time with, I’ll tell you. And I know you’ll do the same.”

I was no longer in control of the conversation. It’d taken a surreal twist. What Bryce was proposing was close to a dream come true for me. He was telling me I didn’t have to choose one or the other, that I could explore what I felt for both of them.

“Oh… of course,” I stammered, still in shock that we were really talking about this.

“Good. Now, are we done talking?” I finally forced myself to look into Bryce’s smoldering eyes. Yeah, we were done using our words for a while. I nodded, nervous because I had a feeling about how the rest of the night was going to go.

Chapter 12

By the time I made it home, I was exhausted and crabby. When Jason asked me to help move Cam’s stuff into his place, I incorrectly assumed that it wouldn’t be that much stuff. After all, Cam had only been living with me for a few months and everything was neatly packed into the loft. Little did I know that he’s some sort of organizational ninja. He had more crap than anyone I’d ever seen and most of it was clothes.

Add to that the fact that Jason felt it necessary to grill me about what was going on between Drew and me and I was in a foul mood when I got home. If I wasn’t such an idiot, Drew and I could have sat around watching movies until he fell asleep, the way we did most nights when he wasn’t holed up in his bedroom. But no, I’d tried to do the ”right thing” and practically begged Bryce to come over and spend time with him. Bryce, the man who wanted the same thing I did. The man who, if I was being honest, would be better for Drew on so many levels. Bryce, the man whose car was still in the driveway even though all the lights in the house were turned off.

As much as I wanted to, I refrained from slamming the front door when I walked inside. Not knowing what I’d find, I didn’t bother to turn on the lights. It felt much safer to carefully make my way through the dark living area, grab a beer, and retire to my bedroom for the night.