This position is deep and passionate. That’s exactly why I chose it. This is how a real woman should get pleasured. This is how Tripp should feel all the time.

I lean in and run my tongue up the side of her neck, before sucking in her earlobe and whispering, “This is how you should always feel, Tripp. Never fucking forget that.” Grabbing her chin, I twist her face and turn it enough to allow me to run my tongue over her lips as I push back into her.

We both moan out and hold each other as tightly as we can. I continue to push in and out, slow and hard, giving her every inch of me. My arms are wrapped around her body and her arms are gripping my arms . . . tightly. So fucking tight.

“Alex,” she moans, making my heart jump. “You feel so good inside me. I want you deeper. Please,” she begs. “I don’t care if it hurts. I want it.”

Her words cause me to lose the little bit of control that I have. I thrust into her hard and fast while loudly breathing in her ear and pulling her body as close to mine as humanly possible.

The sounds of me pounding into her along with our heavy panting fills the room, and before long I feel her trembling in my arms, holding on to me for support. As soon as I feel her pussy clamp around my dick, I reach around and rub her clit, making her orgasm that much more enjoyable.

“Holy shit! Alex!” She screams out. Loud. Really fucking loud. “Alex!”

I hold on to her and press my lips against her neck as she rides her orgasm out. She’s clenching me so hard that it hurts my dick. No lie. When she comes, she comes hard . . . or maybe it’s just with me. I hope it’s just with me. Fuck Lucas.

Wanting to look at her face when I come inside of her, I pull out and flip her over with quickness, before burying myself between her legs again.

With one hand on her thigh and the other behind her neck, I thrust into her slow and hard while trailing kisses all over her upper body. I have to admit that I’m a little surprised myself that I’m allowing myself to get so intimate during sex. I never allow this, ever, but with her I can’t stop myself. Even with him watching, or maybe it’s because he’s watching that I want it. . . . I can’t really tell.

As soon as I feel my orgasm building, I suck Tripp’s bottom lip into my mouth and bite at the same time that I release myself into the condom, deep inside of her.

Her nails dig into my back and her legs tighten around my ass, pushing me in as deep as I can go. “Fuck . . . Tripp. You feel so good.”

I roll over on my back, pulling Tripp on top of me for one last kiss. I get this overwhelming but odd sensation to just hold her close while we fall asleep, but then I look beside us to see Lucas leaning against the wall, releasing himself into his fist. The moment shatters and I’m reminded of what this is: a lesson for that asshole.

Maybe I’m that asshole . . .

“Holy shit,” Lucas says, breaking the silence. “I wasn’t expecting so much passion and shit . . .” He pushes away from the wall. “But it works. It was . . . it was pretty fucking hot. I won’t lie.” He adjusts himself back into his pants, putting his dick away that I never even heard him take out, let alone stroking himself off as he watched, but leaves his pants undone since one hand is still in a fist.

Tripp looks at me one last time before rolling off of me and grabbing her dress to cover up. “Well you got what you wanted Lucas,” she says stiffly. “Hope that you’re happy.”

She looks between the two of us, before turning toward the bathroom. “I’m tired. I . . . I think I’m going to bed.”

Lucas looks at me and bites his bottom lip as Tripp disappears into the bathroom. “There’s a lot more to you than I expected. I guess I see why the ladies keep coming around.” He laughs and heads for the hallway. “I guess you wore my girl out for the night. Looks like I’ll have to wait. It’s a good thing I took care of it myself.” He pauses and looks at me one more time. “Thanks, man. I knew you were a good sport.”

I nod my head, but don’t say a word as he lets himself out of my room. He may be thanking me, but I can tell he’s dying on the inside. He felt exactly what I felt as soon as I entered Tripp. It was evident in both of our eyes how much we feel for each other.

Now I just hope we can get back to where we were before it’s too late.

Running my hands through my hair, I sit here completely naked, breathing hard and staring at the door that Tripp—my firecracker—disappeared through.

Fuck . . . That’s all I can say. Fuck . . .

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

Fighting to catch my breath, I fall against the bathroom door and place my hand over my heaving chest. I thought I could handle this. I thought I could close my mind off and not let my feelings get in the mix, but I was wrong. I was wrong in so many ways.

Alex . . . my best friend . . . was inside of me.

Every kiss, every talented caress of his fingertips, and the feel of him inside me will haunt me for the rest of my life. There are no words to describe the way I’m feeling right now. I feel as if I’ve just made love for the first time, and not just some meaningless romp beneath the sheets . . . but love. I don’t think I should be feeling this right now. Stop! I need to push this far from my mind and remember that this will never happen again. I need to accept what just happened for what it truly was: a lesson for Lucas.

That’s what Alex said it would be. I need to remember that, even though it felt like so much more. So much more.

Closing my eyes, I run both of my hands down my face, letting my dress fall to the floor beside me. Everything in me wants to turn back around and crawl into his arms, naked, and hold him until I fall asleep on his strong chest. I’ve never had this urge after sex. I always kick Lucas out.

If that’s the case then why is this feeling so overwhelming? My stomach is in complete knots just thinking about not being able to be close to him right now. This is a foreign feeling to me after sex. The only thing I can think about after sex with Lucas is getting him out of my bed before he thinks he’s welcome to sleep in it.

Alex is different. He’s always been different and now that I’ve had him in the most intimate way I’m afraid that I’ll only want more from him. I can’t have that and I know it. It hurts so much just thinking about it, but we have too much riding on it. We’re friends. Best friends.

This is all so confusing. What if Lucas knows? He watched the whole thing. “Oh my God.” My breathing picks up as I think about him being there. He had to have seen the way I reacted to Alex. My whole body surrendered to his. He completely owned me, and that is something that Lucas has never been able to do.

I just hope that Lucas doesn’t realize how much I truly wish that he were Alex, or how much I wish that it could be Alex that I’m with and not him. That could mess up everything that I’ve had with both of them over the years.

Playing this off and pretending that I just want to be friends with Alex is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, especially seeing him with other girls so freely.

How am I going to do this?

Pressing my face against the door, I run my hand through my tangled, wet mess of hair and listen to the sound of Alex pacing his room.

Things don’t have to change . . . I can pretend. Right?

THE NEXT MORNING I WAKE up extremely tense and on edge. I guess if you can call it waking up. I didn’t sleep much at all. I spent most of the night watching the bathroom door as if waiting for Alex to come through it. He didn’t . . . and I have to admit that it had me extremely stressed out. A part of me hoped that he would and that everything would go back to feeling normal between us. It made it hard to sleep.