The thought came with a second emotion: fear.

His eyes felt heavy and he let them close as he focused on steadying his breath. From outside he could hear the men pile sloppily into their SUV, doors slamming shut one at a time. A moment later the vehicle revved to life and quickly sped away, throwing rocks and gravel against the bar. He heard Charlie’s exasperated breath release in a great huff, and the thunking sound when the barrel of the shotgun knocked against the bar. And he heard Eva’s ragged, teary breathing at the edge of it all.

Her voice echoed in his mind. “Anger’s my meat; I sup upon myself, and so shall starve with feeding.”

It was from Coriolanus. One of the many beautiful lines given to Volumnia, the soldier’s mother, a character Will found so strong; and one Eva rightly pointed out was as poisoned with rage as her son.

In that moment, standing over the man on the floor, Will had been fully prepared—eager—to end his life. All he could hear was the raging of the fire that took the bakery wailing in his ears, the greedy consuming sound of heat and death that haunted his nightmares. Somehow he could feel the heat on his skin like it was happening again, pulsing like a living thing, singeing the hair off his arms. And something deep in his brain told him all he had to do to put the fire out was pull the trigger. Pull the trigger, dig four graves in the meadow out back, and everything would be fine. It would be over. You would have your retribution.

But Eva burst through the fire in his mind like a phoenix, an unexpected invader he had no defense against. For the first time in a long time, Will had hesitated. He listened, like he was under a spell. He heard her over the fire, reciting Coriolanus to him, both a daydream and a distant memory come together to stop him.

Her voice was like a flashover, a rush of oxygen deliberately pushed into a fire to make it burn out quickly. Suddenly the fire was gone, and Will stood there, cold, wondering.

He didn’t remember telling them to leave. He was just suddenly aware of the weight of his unused handgun in his palm, and of the dark anger that started bubbling up in his gut.

You should have fucking killed them. You piece of shit coward. You should have killed them. You might never have a chance like that again. What about vengeance?

Will heard his name on the edge of his consciousness. He turned and saw Eva taking soft steps toward him in bare feet, her eyes wide and scared.

“Get away from me,” he growled.

Eva stopped and straightened. “Will…”

“Get away,” he said, turning from her. “I told you to stay in the fucking office.”

“Will, I…”

“You should have stayed in the office!” he yelled.

Charlie came out from behind the bar and behind Eva, putting his hands on her shoulders. His face was still a wide-eyed moon of shock. “Eva, c’mon.” He pulled on her gently. She fought him for a moment as she stared at Will, her mouth hanging open, wondering, asking without saying a word. Finally she let Charlie turn her away and lead her through the bar and out the back door.

Will dropped his head and closed his eyes. Fumbling, he put his handgun on the nearest upright table and rubbed his hands roughly over his face, tugging at his own hair, trying to get his body and his mind to reconnect with each other. He felt wetness on his cheeks and realized his eyes were leaking what must be stress tears, a byproduct of the chemical overload rushing through his brain.

You’re also a human, said some part of his mind.

He leaned hard on the table and hung his head. There was too much adrenaline in his veins to sit, but too little to actually hold him up straight.

He stood, propped against the table in a numb haze until Charlie came back in from outside without Eva. He came up to Will, but kept more distance than he usually did, and it did not go unnoticed. “That was…” said Charlie, trailing off.

Will sighed heavily. “That was a disaster.”

“A disaster?” said Charlie. He put one hand on his hips and ran the other one roughly through his brown hair. “Shit, we’re all still alive. I was going to say I can’t believe that worked. When you wanted me ready with that shotgun, I was… I thought for sure I was gonna have to watch someone die today.”

“You should’ve watched all of them die today,” said Will.

A look of quiet horror descended on Charlie’s face. “What?”

“I told Eva to stay in the office. I didn’t want her near this for a reason. I shouldn’t have hesitated. Now they’ll regroup and strike back harder. They’ll bring guns this time. They won’t make that mistake again.”

When he heard no response, Will looked up and saw an expression that said Charlie doubted him. He pushed himself up straight and took a few steps forward.

“So what are you suggesting?” Charlie asked when Will stopped in front of him.

Will thought a moment. “We have to hit them first.”

“What?”

“It’s our only choice,” said Will. Even as he said it, he didn’t fully believe himself, but the words kept pouring out of his mouth anyway. “They won’t see it coming, not now. We gather up a tactical arsenal and strike out at them first—get them to understand what’s going to keep happening if they don’t back off.”

“Christ,” said Charlie in a whisper. He looked behind him, as if making sure Eva wasn’t listening. “Will, you can’t be serious! I’m a fucking handyman, I’m not a soldier. I’d get my ass killed in a heartbeat!”

“I won’t let that happen,” said Will. “I’ll give you the training you need.”

Charlie shook his head and started shifting from foot to foot. “No, man, no… I don’t… I don’t like this.”

“Give me time to get the plan together,” said Will. “You’ll feel better when you can see it. This has to happen, Charlie. I have to protect her.”

“Protect her?” said Charlie.

Will froze, blinking. He hadn’t realized he’d said that. “I have to protect Eva.”

Charlie fell silent and looked hard at Will. He looked very much like he wanted to argue, but didn’t have the words, or the balls, to do it. Whatever the reason is fine with me, just keep your mouth shut.

“Might as well clean up the blood on the floor and open up for the day,” said Will as he swiped his handgun off the table and stuffed it into the holster under his shirt. He walked around Charlie. “They won’t be back for a while.”

Behind him, he could hear Charlie talking to himself, incredulous, shifting around in discomfort. Will didn’t care. He had another issue to attend to. He stalked out the back door and out into the meadow to look for Eva.

~ FOURTEEN ~

Eva sat in the cool shade of the forest meadow and absently picked flowers. She could hear Charlie’s and Will’s loud voices from the open back door of the bar. In her mind, the fight echoed and replayed over and over, like it was on a broken feedback loop. The whole thing couldn’t have lasted two minutes, and yet Eva felt ten years older than she had when it began, and in her head everything played in slow motion.

She could still see Will standing there, hovering over the unconscious man on the floor, the man he had already defeated. Among the books she had devoured in her life, Eva had read many from the great warriors and generals of history, including the fictional ones. She couldn’t remember a single honorable warrior who brought death to an enemy he had already defeated. It was a scorched-earth policy, the actions of a man full of rage, not of a cunning warrior only looking for victory. It was desperate.

Eva knew from the second she saw him that Will was dangerous, and now she had seen it first-hand on more than one occasion. He wanted so badly to kill that man—to kill all of them.