My heart was beating like I was pumping iron as I turned onto the main drag toward the gym. What the fuck?

Aly had been lying there quietly when I turned to face her, and her eyes met mine. I’d brought my hand to meet her cheek and she’d whispered, “Good morning.”

Aly. With her big smile and soft expression as she looked at me, Aly’s green eyes had said what I feared most in life. I like you. Want more from you.

People shouldn’t like me or want more from me because I wasn’t whole. I couldn’t give more. Tainted and impure, I was nothing but a shell of a man, good looking on the outside, but that was it.

That was when it hit me. My hand banged the dash as I turned into my parking lot. That was why I didn’t feel like me.

I felt whole.

But I wasn’t whole. I had a past. A bad one.

Aly saw through that. But why?

She saw me as good, and wasn’t that what I wanted? To protect her?

Apparently some of her goodness was rubbing off on me, but it shouldn’t stick. It couldn’t. Not on someone like me.

When I swung open the front door to Fizzle, Chloe gave me a concerned look from the front desk.

“Everything okay, Jake?” she asked, pushing her chest out toward me. Somewhere along the way, she’d gotten the wrong idea about her and me.

“Yeah, why?” I stopped and leaned my elbows on the counter, averting my gaze.

“You missed your workout. And you weren’t here when I opened up.” She made a silly pouty face that a few months ago, I would have considered sticking my cock into just to make it go away.

“Changing it up, Chlo. A guy can change it up.” No way I was going to put my anxiety, fear, or fucking feelings on display where I worked. “Anything happening?” I asked.

“No. I got all the guest passes ready for the baseball guys like you wanted and put them on your desk in the back.”

She sat up high on her stool, her blond hair twisted in a braid and her tits spilling out of a Fizzle tank. It didn’t do much for me anymore. It was like the standard uniform for a gym worker. These days, I jerked off to tight black slacks and blouses, unbuttoned and revealing cleavage.

“Cool! Thanks. I’m going to hit the weights and then head straight to my office.”

After I changed into workout gear, I went straight for the free weights section of my gym and racked weighted plates onto a bar. Then I bench-pressed until I couldn’t feel my pecs anymore.

The gym was still quiet, mostly college girls on the treadmills and a few grad students pretending to be tough on the elliptical. The early-morning hours, lunch, and evenings were our busiest times, but I suspected when word got out the professional ball players were dropping by mid-morning at both our locations, traffic would increase.

With the tension mostly bled from my body, I showered and went to work. I threw on a pair of track pants and a Fizzle T-shirt I kept in my locker, then strode back to my office. I made calls, checked invoices, and ordered some more equipment for the new gym. The bank had granted me a sizable line of credit due to my current success, not to mention my clean financial record thanks to Lane bailing me out a few times.

Lane was in for a third on the new place. Actually, Bess was. He’d put it in her name so she would have some equity.

Mid-morning, Chloe popped her head in and reported that a few members of the baseball team and their trainers were here and ready to work out. She couldn’t hide how smitten she was with the men. I gave them a quick tour and set them up in the free-weight station with a new brand of weighted balls I was carrying.

Back in my office, I pulled out my phone and sent a text.

ME : How did it work with the bus?

I returned a few e-mails, mostly to vendors, while I waited for a reply.

ALY : Good. Came on time and took me right where I needed to go.

ME : Still wish you would’ve let me drive you.

Christ, what the hell was going on with me? I had no control over my fingers and their typing.

ALY : I wanted to see how to get the bus from there. Anyway, taking a half day. Going to run the steps and grocery shop. Thank you for everything.

ME : When are you stair running?

ALY : Why?

ME : I want to check out your legs.

Because I’m a sick, twisted man who wants you, I thought, but can’t keep you.

ALY : Huh-uh. Not working out with you.

ME : How about dinner?

ALY : I’ll cook.

ME : At my place.

ALY : Which one?

ME : Mine. Where I live. The rental is yours.

ALY : Okay.

ME : Okay? Just like that? No arguing?

ALY : Okay. Can I bring Mav?

ME : Pick you both up at 6:30.

ALY : Okay.

I needed to check on my baseball players, but first I made one more important call. To my shrink. I was going to need to see her soon. Like yesterday.

I felt like I was standing there in my body, but it wasn’t me inside anymore . . . or some shit like that.

It was still light out when I pulled up in front of my rental and jumped out to get Aly and the puppy. They were waiting on the front stoop, Aly’s legs in painted-on jeans, and Mav’s tail wagging.

Pushing back any doubts, I approached the pair. “Hey!”

“Hey!”

“Are you settled? Feeling okay?” I surveyed the neighborhood and spotted a dark blue Ford Explorer down the street. Aly didn’t notice it, but it must be my guy.

“I’m good. We need to discuss rent.” She unfolded her long legs and stood up from the steps, her hair falling to one side of her face.

Leaning close, I kissed her closed mouth gently. Then I grabbed the leash and pushed her up against the brick wall and kissed her not so gently, fucking her mouth with my tongue.

Once we were both out of breath, I said, “Come on, let’s go before I fuck you up against this wall for the whole neighborhood to see.”

Her eyes grew wide and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

“Let’s roll, Aly-cat.” I grabbed her hand and guided her to the sidewalk.

We hustled into the truck and after we’d been on the road a few minutes, she asked, “So, what is this?”

I glanced at her, but her eyes remained transfixed on the road in front of us. “What? Dinner?”

She turned toward me. “Jake, listen, I know I’m not experienced like you. But I am independent. I’ve been in charge of my fate since day one, and I also may not be well traveled or indulged, but I need to ask. What is this? Us. A one-night thing? A one-month deal? You testing the waters in a different place?”

I kept my eyes in front of me as I said, “A good place. Not testing, but seeing. Seeing what can be or could be. I don’t know, Al, but when I saw you in the jail, I was inspired.”

“By my legs?” A smile turned up in the corner of her red lips.

“Yes.” I faced her and winked. “I wanted you in the worst way, but then the idea of you stayed with me. We kept running into each other, and I don’t know. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel one hundred percent bad.”

“Jake,” she said, her voice full of warning.

“Aly, I’m bad.” I gripped the steering wheel fiercely. “What I did. Even if I was young and didn’t know, I should’ve done something about Shirley sometime in all these years.”

“You didn’t know, couldn’t know what to do. Like my mom. How could she have known my dad’s accident wasn’t an accident?”