“Hey,” he said¸ tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “Sleep okay?”

I shrugged. Sure I slept, but I didn’t feel rested. “I guess.”

“Do you want me to get you anything? Water? Coffee?”

“Water.”

He left and I debated if I was going to tell him more about that God awful night. I wanted to. I felt that if I told him it would be a weight lifted off my shoulders. For so long I’d carried it around, hiding the secret from everyone. It was my secret, my past, my mask, but I was tired of wearing it, especially around the man I loved.

Loved …

That was the feeling I felt when I was with Paul. I’d never been in love before. I’d thought I loved Seth, but it was puppy love. He was my best friend. The feelings I had for Paul were completely and utterly different. This man was everything to me, and the moment he found out I was undercover, I was sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

I was lying to him nonetheless.

A few nights after my freak out, Autumn called Paul to invite us over for dinner. Internally, I was freaking out … again. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. If they were anything similar to what Paul described, I had a feeling I was going to fall just as hard and fast for them as I had for Paul. Besides, I’d went into this undercover operation after doing extensive research on everyone involved with S&R. I knew Gabe was once an escort but left after meeting Autumn, and the three of them were now running a self-defense company. So they had to be good people … right?

Paul and I didn’t discuss the bomb I dropped on him. He was probably waiting for me to tell him on my own terms the rest of the story, which I loved about him. He had a way of making me feel loved and cherished. Even though he was hot for me because let’s face it, he admitted it on several different occasions. He not only told me he cared for me, but that night when I had my freak out, he picked me up and carried me to bed, held me until I fell asleep and probably until long after, and showed me how much he actually cared for me. He could tell me all day how much he liked me, but I felt it and that meant more to me.

About ten minutes into the drive to Gabe and Autumn’s house, Paul reached over and grabbed my fidgeting hands before my knuckles started bleeding. “Stop worrying so much, gorgeous. Gabe and Autumn are gonna love you.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just … I know that they mean a lot to you, and you mean a lot to me, so I’m only hoping I don’t make an ass out of myself.”

“Are you kidding? They’re so damn excited I’ve got someone to bring for dinner, it’s going to be impossible to make a bad impression. Knowing how I feel about you, I’m willing to bet they love you already.”

Before I realized it, we were pulling into what I assumed was Gabe and Autumn’s driveway. Paul put the Jeep in park and turned off the ignition. Just as I reached for the door handle, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, he released my wrist from the other, grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in to kiss me long and deep. Once my body started to relax, he backed away and gave me a panty dropping smile.

“Relax. Let’s go have fun.” I caught my breath and got out of the car, Paul came around the back and grabbed my hand. Once we made it to the door, Paul walked in without knocking. I looked at him and he laughed. “What? He’s like my brother.”

I laughed. “I didn’t say anything.”

We walked into the kitchen and the boys greeted each other by sharing a bro hug before Paul made his way to Autumn, “Auttie!” He gave her a tight but brief hug and a peck on her cheek, then he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his side, wrapping an arm around my lower back. “Guys, this is my girl, Andi. Andi, this is Gabe and his beautiful fiancé, Autumn.”

Autumn came to me and wrapped me in a hug so tight it was hard for me to breath for a moment. “It’s great to finally meet you, Andi. Let’s make some margaritas before dinner’s ready.” She linked arms with me and led the way to the bar.

Being around Gabe and Autumn was effortless. Paul, Gabe, and Autumn had a friendly banter that I loved to watch. Sometimes I would join in when I felt comfortable enough to get involved. They told me about their business and offered to teach me a few self-defense moves to stay protected while out with clients. I wanted to tell them it wasn’t necessary, that I probably had more training than them, but instead I thanked them and Paul being Paul said he would show me some—naked.

After dinner, we all sat around the table sipping on our drinks. Paul had his usual tequila and coke, Gabe was sipping on what I thought was a whiskey and coke, and Autumn had made us two different batches of margaritas: one with alcohol, the other without.

As we sat around the dining room table, the boys shootin’ the shit, Paul looked at Autumn with a smile on his face. “So have you guys been to the doctor yet? I’m dying to know when my niece or nephew will be making an appearance.”

Well, that explains the virgin margaritas …

“We just went last week. Our little monkey will arrive in about seven months.”

When I took a quick glance at Paul, I saw it. I couldn’t decide if it was envy or pain because just as fast as I saw it, it was gone.

Autumn brought both of her hands down on the table and stood, “Why don’t you guys make your way to the living room while I clean up.” As she started making her way to the kitchen, Gabe wrapped an arm around her hips and dragged her down to his lap.

“Angel, leave it. I’ll get it. You need to take it easy. That’s my unborn child you’re carrying.”

“I’m not gonna break. Promise.”

She wrapped her hands around his neck and plastered a kiss to his lips that made me blush. These two were an obvious power couple. The love displayed made me envious, but watching the love exchanged between the two of them caused me to worry. It reminded me that I was in love with Paul, but I hadn’t told him everything.

Wanting out of my own head, I stood and offered to help. As I walked past Paul to gather a few dishes, he slid his hand from my back to my hip and gave it a little squeeze. He pulled me down and whispered in my ear, “I’m glad you’re here with me tonight, gorgeous.” He kissed my cheek, letting his lips linger for a moment, so I turned and pressed my lips to his, then smiled and made my way to the kitchen.

When I walked in, Autumn was already washing the dishes she had brought in. She looked at me and smiled. “I’ve never seen Paul with a girlfriend before.” She laughed.

Her confession brought a smile to my face. “I don’t think he had a choice. I kinda barged in on him.”

She turned the water off, grabbing a dish towel to dry her hands “Paul’s … How do I put this lightly?” She thought for a moment, looking past me. “Like I said, I’ve never seen him with a girlfriend before. Just don’t hurt him, okay?”

I couldn’t do anything but stare at the floor. I couldn’t defend myself because in the end, when everything came out, I had no doubt he would be hurt … and that was what would destroy me.

“He doesn’t think we see it. I mean, we know he was burned badly in the past, but I have a feeling it was worse than the details he gave us.” She walked up and placed her hand on my arm to get my attention. “I’ll save you the details, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my experience, it’s how to recognize someone who has been through so much it almost broke them.”

The conversation started about Paul, but the way she was looking at me made me wonder if she knew about me and what I’d been through—maybe it was about her. “Everybody needs somebody, Andi.” She continued. “Sometimes it takes the right person to make you realize it.” She looked toward the living room where the guys were laughing and smiled. Shaking her head, she grabbed the two pitchers of margaritas. “Come on, let’s go see what the boys are up to.”