“You really need to take care of yourself,” I scolded.

Maysie rolled her eyes. “You sound like Jordan.”

“Well Jordan’s right. This time. Though I’m surprised he handled you leaving him. How can he function without you?” I asked, only slightly teasing.

“He’s a big boy. He’ll be just fine. Besides it’s only until Friday,” Maysie remarked dismissively but she lit up at the mention of her fiancé’s name.

Jordan and Maysie really did have something special. They were so incredibly lucky. And on some level, I could admit that I was a little jealous of it.

Okay, a lot jealous.

Not that I wasn’t super happy that Maysie had found a love like that, I just selfishly wanted it for myself.

I could have had it. If I hadn’t callously thrown it away.

Nope. Self-flagellation was not on the menu this evening. Stop it, Gracie!

“Still sitting in the same booth, huh? Don’t feel like shaking things up and sitting at a high top this time?” I joked, getting rid of any remnants of negativity.

“No way. This booth has history,” she explained.

I knew better than to even suggest we sit somewhere else. Maysie always sat at this particular booth by the bar. Something about it being the same booth she was sitting in with Riley when she first met Jordan. My friend was overly sentimental and I loved her for it.

I reached over and picked up a breadstick and took a bite. I tried not to think about calories or how I shouldn’t eat this sort of thing.

My stomach protested and my brain screamed for me to stop eating. Yet another battle in the ongoing war inside my head.

In defiance, I picked up a chicken wing and ate it quickly, dropping the meat-free bone onto the plate.

Maysie was trying not to be obvious as she watched me but subtlety wasn’t her strong suit.

“Do I have bar-b-que sauce on my face?” I asked her pointedly, wiping at my lips.

Maysie flushed and looked ashamed. “Oh, no, not at all. They’re good right?” she fumbled, picking up a breadstick and shoving into her mouth.

“It’s cool, Mays. I get it,” I said, trying not sound irritated. All of my friends watched me. I felt their eyes. Their concern.

Is Gracie eating enough? Is she going to sneak into the bathroom and drink a fifth of Vodka? She’s looking so skinny, is she starving herself?

Everyone had those questions and I understood why. I wasn’t angry, just resigned that in the back of their minds those thoughts would always linger.

Mitch never looked at me that way. He never made me feel like I was under a microscope. He always made me feel…normal.

Ugh!

Why was I thinking of him so much lately? I had been good about blocking him out.

Lately I was starting to question things. Wondering whether I should do as Viv suggested, and finally talk to him. But so much time had passed. Too much time perhaps. I should have dealt with it a year ago but I had been barely able to pull myself together. I hadn’t been able to handle the implications of that one heart-wrenching night.

But I had done a lot of growing up in the last three hundred and sixty-five days. At some point I had stopped being the girl who forever swept things under the rug. I was trying to get a grip on my life and the thought had taken root that making things right with Mitch was an important step. And it seemed once I let Mr. Abrams back into my head, it was going to take an act of god to get him out again.

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t get home until late and then I had to deal with the Viv situation.” I picked up another breadstick and ate this one a little slower.

Maysie cringed. “That’s why I left. I recognized that tone in her voice. I figured I’d better get out of there fast.”

“Well it was happening in our living room. There are some things I can’t tolerate. Communal masturbation is definitely one of them.” We both made a face.

“Does she still do that? Hasn’t she learned to keep that stuff behind closed doors?” Maysie groaned.

I licked Parmesan cheese off my fingers and took a drink of water. “Nope. I’m not holding my breath that she ever will.”

“Well, you think that’s bad, imagine having to hear them go at it from behind a tiny curtain on a tour bus. You think your apartment is close quarters, you have no idea.”

I shuddered. “We need to lock them up in a room. Away from people. We’ll call it a public service.”

We laughed because it was true.

“Maysie! I didn’t know you were in town!” a shrill voice interrupted. Our waitress, a thin girl with straight black hair was grinning from ear to ear. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in months!” Jaz Digby squealed, pulling Maysie to her feet and giving her a hug.

“Hey, Jaz. Yeah, I’m just here for the week. How have you been?” Maysie asked after sitting back down.

Jaz flicked her dark hair and put a hand on her hip. “Can’t complain. Even if I’m still working in this place.”

“Moore’s not a bad boss. It could always be worse, “ Maysie said, waving at the long time manager of Barton’s who was restocking the liquor behind the bar.

Jaz lifted her shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah, well I’m getting married next year and we’re planning to move to the city. No more waitressing for this gal.”

Jaz held out her hand for Maysie and I to inspect her diamond-clad finger.

“Wow, impressive,” I told her.

Jaz beamed.

“I didn’t know you were dating anyone,” Maysie said.

Jaz blushed. “I’m marrying Eli.”

Maysie’s eyes widened and I frowned. Eli? How did I know that name?

Then it hit me.

“Eli Bray?” I asked. Jaz nodded, biting on her lower lip. She glanced at Maysie nervously.

“Isn’t that the guy—” I began to say but Maysie cut me off.

“That I dated before Jordan. Yeah.”

“We’ve only been together for a few months but when you know, you know, right?” Jaz gave Maysie a worried look. “Should I have asked you first? I mean, I know you guys were together and I don’t want it to be weird.”

I remember Eli being pretty hot in that whole slacker, pothead townie kind of way. He and Maysie had never made much sense so it wasn’t surprising when it didn’t really go anywhere.

Maysie put her hand on Jaz’s arm. “Jaz, don’t be ridiculous. That was years ago and we were never serious. Eli’s a great guy. I’m happy for you. Congratulations,” she said sincerely.

Jaz beamed and you could tell she was happy.

“Yeah, congrats,” I added.

“Thanks!” Jaz tucked her pen and pad into her apron. “I’ll send you an invitation. It’s just going to be a small ceremony but we’d love you to be there. And Jordan too of course,” she went on.

“Absolutely. I’d love to come,” Maysie told her.

“Awesome. Okay, well, I guess I should take your orders, huh? The usual? Tequila Chicken?”

“How did you guess?” Maysie chuckled.

Jaz and I both rolled our eyes. “Only because it’s the only thing you ever eat here,” I piped up.

“What about you, Gracie?” Jaz asked.

I didn’t bother looking at the menu. I knew it like the back of my hand. “Uh, how about a Cobb Salad.”

“Okay, sounds good. I’ll refill your drinks and get you some more breadsticks.” Jaz took our glasses.

Once she had left I turned wide eyes to my friend. “Jaz Digby is marrying your ex-boyfriend? What crazy sort of Twilight Zone did we just wander into?”

Maysie leaned in. “Oh my god, I know! I was not expecting that one. I hope Jordan doesn’t pop a blood vessel when I tell him we’re going to the wedding.”

I giggled. “Didn’t Jordan knock him out or something? I seem to remember you telling me about an altercation between the two.”

Maysie waved her hand in dismissal. “That was back when Jordan thought peeing a circle around me was a good way to keep guys away. Eli was never a threat. Jordan figured that out pretty quickly.”

“God, it’s hard to believe all of that was almost four years ago. Four years since you went toe to toe with Olivia and Milla over your fiancé.”